What is the role of a godparent?

margaritao

Have you chosen a godparent yet? My husband and I are disagreeing on who to pick for the godparents of our son, due July 6th. I want to pick my sister and her fiance, or his cousin and my brother. He wants to pick his brother. I don't want his brother to be the godfather because he is irresponsible, not a good role model. I don't think he's gonna be there for our son, we bearly see him. He likes to party a lot, got an apartment downtown because he had a job down there but he recently quit. His parents pay for his apartment and his car now. He recently got arrested last week because he's been driving without a license, not the first time but this time he spent a night in jail. How do I convince my husband to not pick his brother? or should i just pick my sister and let him pick who he wants, be it his brother. At first he wanted to pick his 14 year old brother and i told him that he was too young so now he's got his other brother stuck in his head as the godparent. Him and his brother really aren't even that close, they see each other probably once every two months or when there's a party or something.

babyGsmama

are you catholic?

margaritao

yes, i'm catholic

Nicavesani

Some people want the godparent to be the guardian if something were to happen to both parents. ?If this is your case, I would not chose your BIL... he sounds too?irresponsible! ?Other people want the godparents to be religious role models and big parts in their kids life. ? Maybe you can convince your husband to wait for his brother to grow up a bit... maybe for baby #2 he'll be ready. ?Try for a compromise. ?It's not a horrible idea to have his 14 year old brother to be it... I'm sure he'll love it and since the baby wont be too far away in age, they may grow up to be great friends.?

MrsR0908

We picked my DH's best friend and his wife. They are practicing catholics and we are very confident that they will be great godparents. Our church just won't let you pick anyone, they make you have their priest fill out something saying that they are practicing catholics. I am sure every church is different though.

Evelynsmom

I'm under the impression that they step in and take care of the child if you and DH die.  I think they also help with the spiritual side of raising your child, like making sure they go to church etc, but I'm not Catholic so I could be wrong.  

nuttybunch

The role of a godparent is to guide your child through life and support them through their religious path. Basically to be a good role model when it comes to religion.

That said, my godparents didn't do that. They were more for show. My sister doesn't even have them.

You can always pick your sister and let him pick whomever (even his 14 year old brother). The godparents are NOT the legal guardians if you and DH should die, so if they're not the best role model, it's not the end of the world. I wouldn't pick someone who is entirely irresponsible, but someone who's borderline is ok.

babyGsmama

Ok.. since you are catholic this is what I know.  The god parent is sapose to be someone who will guide your child in the Cathoilic faith if for some reason you were unable to.  For example, if something were to happen to you, would he take your child to church on sundays, drive him to catechism, and make certain that he had his first communion, reconciliation, and confirmation?  This is not someone you choose out of obligation or guilt, but rather what is best for your child moral upbringing.  Sounds to me that you need to have a heart to heart with your husband with a priest in the room nodding his head. 

 

 

JNicMTek

Godparents used to be the ones the child would go to should something happen to the parents.  Now though, that's not the case, at least not automatically.  Godparents are more for spiritual advisers for the child, someone to help them in the church/religion.  Although, personally I don't see a real job for Godparents today.  Both my niece and nephew are my Godchildren, but that's mainly because I'm one of the few practicing Catholics in my family, since their parents don't take them to church, there's really no need for me other than so the kids could get baptized and make their mother feel better. 

2006bride*

We are choosing people who represent pretty good role models and spiritual.  I hate to pick people who are not sure they believe in the same faith as us anymore.

 However, the godparents are more symbolic to us because we are choosing different people as legal guardians in our will.  I strongly suggest creating a will to anyone starting a family so this is all very clear just in case.

MrsR0908

Oh and my child will not be going to the godparents if something happens to us, someone in my family will have legal custody if something does happen.

margeincharge2

We're Catholic as well and are currently struggling with who to pick. It may help convince your DH to not use his brother if you talk to the priest one day after mass about what he suggests you look for in a godparent.

It is no longer the case that godparents will raise the child if both of you die. I see it more as a spiritual guide, as pp'ers have said. So we're looking for people who are religious (preferably share our views) and will be that spiritual guide, especially if we're not around.

GL! If it helps your DH any, we have siblings that we're overlooking because they are not religious or otherwise wouldn't make a good fit. You shouldn't pick someone just because they are your sibling.