Would this be wrong of me?????

HeyyRed

For those of you who aren't aware, my grama died on Thursday. She was 83 and is the first of my grandparents to pass. In fact, she was the one we all would have bet would live the longest out of all of them so it was a terrible shock.

I'm estranged from my father and consequently my grandparents mostly because of my father's wife and her family. Long sad and rather pathetic story I won't bore you with the details....

I've offered to compile the photos for my grandmother's memorial service. I've done a collage of all the vintage pictures of my grandmother and then I'm doing one with more current photos of grama and with the family as well. Now, ignoring the fact that my brother and father only saw fit to include me in two of the 200 photos they sent me to choose from, and that I wasn't older than 10 in either photo - they did manage to send me numerous photos with my father's wife in them.

Sooooooooo would it read entirely passive aggressive of me to say um exclude her from most of the photos - perhaps keep her in a few of the group photos? Fortunately, I have a few photos from my wedding with my grandma in them so I was thinking I could replace the step mother with these. I mean picture-wise, my photos are the more superior quality and um well I'm way more photogenic.

Yes, I know, I am a total blitch. I'm okay with that.?

dgurl26

I would do the same. Just include some pics of her but otherwise I feel you are totally justified in that! But maybe I am a biitch as well.

merjmm

I would probably replace her pictures with those of you and your wedding and keep her in some of the group shots.  Yes, I too am a biitch that way! 

*Bee*

TBjornsson

do it I dare you.

merjmm

oh and I am very sorry for the loss of your grandma. 

LillyBug923

I don't think it's wrong or biitchy at all. You have a right to show pictures of you and her together, too. If some with the wife don't make it due to circumstances outside your control... such as space... then it is what it is. You are the one putting this together.

SheriBT

Do it.  Estranged or not, you're still family and deserve more than two spots in the photo collage.  And it isn't like you're completely cutting her out, you're just cutting her down presence in the collage. 

RubyRed1085

I say go for it... we just had to put together this same thing for FI's grandmother this week, and honestly, no one really paid attention to who else was in the pictures. They just looked at his grandmother. So if it will make YOU feel better, go for it.

mrspink77

Tough call... I would most definitly add those that you have from the wedding and maybe take a few out of the one's they sent to you. But make it a random pick unless you really don't care what they think.. then put only to worse pics of your dad's wife in there! lol

thatgirlang

Do it. I am sorry about your grandma.

k_leigh_d

Do it sweetie!!!!!!!!

Evelynsmom

I would put the better pictures in - aka your wedding pictures.  They need to show some respect, she's dead for crying out loud, it's not about them.  Grrr

BTW, I'm sorry for your loss.

MrGandMe

Sorry to hear about the loss of your Grandmother.  Since they were being passive aggressive in sending 200 photos with 2 of you in them....then I think it would only be right to include more of yourself in the collage that YOU are making for YOUR Grandmother.  Not bitchy at all.....

FutureHardings

I know I might be a little late on this one... but i'm very sorry to hear about your grandmother's passing. You and your family are in my prayers...

Also... your dad's wife is not 'technically' or 'biologically' part of the family... think about it that way... :-)

blairsgirl

I'm sorry to hear about your Grandmom.  You're in my thoughts.  If it were me, I would replace some of the pictures of your father's wife with those from your wedding and keep her in group shots.

HeyyRed

Thanks Ladies.

Bride7-7-07

Red-

First off, I am so sorry for your loss.  Your family has my deepest sympathy and prayers.

On a side note, she is your grandma.  I wouldn't delete your father's wife out of all of them, BUT I would include many more of you and grandma.  You are the blood relative here, not her.  I would keep maybe 2 - 4 with her and grandma, a few group ones of them and the rest of you and grandma. 

esposa38

Bride7-7-07:

Red-

First off, I am so sorry for your loss.  Your family has my deepest sympathy and prayers.

On a side note, she is your grandma.  I wouldn't delete your father's wife out of all of them, BUT I would include many more of you and grandma.  You are the blood relative here, not her.  I would keep maybe 2 - 4 with her and grandma, a few group ones of them and the rest of you and grandma. 

I was going to say something exactly along these lines.  I'm very sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry you have a difficult situation w/ your father, but I still think funerals are not a time to be passive-aggressive. Rise above. Again, very sorry. Take care.

Angelene&Jon

Red - I think it's absolutely necessary that you add in your own personal photos with you and you Nanny. I know I'd do the same thing as I have a similar family background. I wouldn't cut out Father's wife completely, but at least the photos should be even or more of you than her.  Sorry for you loss - my Nanny has also been sick recently!