3rd Trimester

S/O "Surprise" below

One time DH was oot for work and when he came back, I was pretty damn horny.

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So I got all dolled up, put on some heels and a waist apron (nothing else), and when I heard him come in I blocked myself with the fridge door being open and waited for him to come into the kitchen.

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When he came in and around to where he could see me/the fridge, I asked him if he though anything looked good enough to eat.

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Poor guy was so flustered/surprised he was just like "um no." And he was confused about why I was naked.?

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So of course I felt totally stupid and corny lol.

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Anyone else have a similar funny sexy FAIL??

Re: S/O "Surprise" below

  • HA!

    I did the full on lingerie, heels, porn star hair one night for DH (who wasn't DH at the time) when he came home from going out with friends. He was so drunk that he just ran straight to the bathroom and then passed out.

    He always  asks me to dress up like that for him again but it totally wasn't worth the effort lol.

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  • Yes!  I was so tired of playing second fiddle to War Craft so I put on a necklace and nothing else. I proceeded to sit my nakie hienie on the desk and asked Sparky if my necklace made me look fat.  He looked over and said I'm in the middle of a mission right now.  *grrrr*
  • LMFAO!!!

    hysterical

    BabyFetus Ticker
  • That story made me LOL.

    I don't have one, I wish I did though. LOL.

    Well, I told FI that I liked having my hair pulled sometimes during sex. Now he just does it randomly throughout the day. I told him to not do that, and he was like "I thought you liked it"....

  • HAHA that is funny
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  • Our very first time was a big fat FAIL.  I was all over him.  He waits until midway through and then says, "I can't do this."

    Apparently he wanted to play the "sensitive guy" card.  Uh..dude...you don't do that while you're inside me.  You're supposed to do it before anything actually happens.  I left crying and feeling like a whore.  I forgave him though....obviously.

  • imageSouthernBellelovesaYankee:

    That story made me LOL.

    I don't have one, I wish I did though. LOL.

    Well, I told FI that I liked having my hair pulled sometimes during sex. Now he just does it randomly throughout the day. I told him to not do that, and he was like "I thought you liked it"....

    BWAH!!!
  • imageSouthernBellelovesaYankee:

    That story made me LOL.

    I don't have one, I wish I did though. LOL.

    Well, I told FI that I liked having my hair pulled sometimes during sex. Now he just does it randomly throughout the day. I told him to not do that, and he was like "I thought you liked it"....

    LMAO!.....that is hilarious!!!!

  • imageRoosky:

    Our very first time was a big fat FAIL.? I was all over him.? He waits until midway through and then says, "I can't do this."

    Apparently he wanted to play the "sensitive guy" card.? Uh..dude...you don't do that while you're inside me.? You're supposed to do it before anything actually happens.? I left crying and feeling like a whore.? I forgave him though....obviously.

    ?

    ?

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha. I'm sorry but that is HILARIOUS. I can't believe your DH, or any guy, would wait THAT long to pull the sensitive card. ?

  • Yeah, FI is a little slow on things...
  • One of Dh's old roomates walked in on us, and we were on the floor, and Justin ended up just laying completely on top of me so the other guy couldnt see me nakes, but then ended up having a whole convo with us like it was nothing out of the ordinary... while he was still "IN" needless to say, he got limp and it was over with :(
  • ohhh and once I tied my dh up and he thought he was going to get some action but i ended up stripping him naked and leaving him there and put flour, chocolate syrup and other random things on him. and just left.... we play tricks on each other allll the time, and it was funny to see him think he was getting some
  • I can't think of any of our love blunders, but you guys all put a smile on my face.. lol.. [=)]
  • LMAO!!!!  We were staying with my in laws and they were out one night. So I did the whole school girl thing...short skirt, small top, pig tails, lots of make-up...just the way he likes it. I ran to the kitchen real quick for some ice, low and behold in walk his parents. They came home early, and there was no where to hide. And this sounds so weird, but thank god his dad walked in first, and took his mom right in the bedroom, he was so nice not to make a big deal about it. SHe would have!
  • haha this is the best thread ive read all day. i needed to laugh this hard. unfortunately i cant think of a time that DH and I have been walked in on or anything, and if i ever came second after some computer game i dont think id be with him right now. There were a few times when we were living with his parents that we went out to dinner and there was road head involved on the way home...i always wondered what his dad thought when we walked in the front door and just ran to the bedroom. cause he would always sit right there on the couch and just look at us when we came in.

    Did you know if you give a guy road head, he wont speed up to get home and do you, he will slow down so it takes longer to get home. Once i looked up and we were doing 45 on the freeway. I never understood this.

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