2nd Trimester

Delivery (kinda long)

HELP!! My uncle is insisting on coming down for the delivery of our LO. I don't know what to do! I really only want my mom and DH there. I'm going to have to invite my dad and step-mom to come too (to avoid hurt feelings). Only DH will be in the room with me. I'd planned on telling everyone else after the baby is born. I don't mind guests in the hospital after I've had time to bond. My uncle will be driving 20 hrs. He told me that his vaca plans are flexible (I tried the whole, we don't know when LO will show up). He's really excited! He'd end up having to stay with me. I think he's going to bring his wife and 12 year old daughter.  I told my mom she'd have to tell them they CAN'T come. I don't want his feelings to be hurt, but don't think extra house guests will be a smart thing when I first come home with my baby. I don't mind them coming a month or so later, I suggested Thanksgiving together, he still wants to be here for the birth. What do I do? Do you have anyone else insisting on coming?

Re: Delivery (kinda long)

  • I would be firm & up front about not having house guests that soon.  I would tell them that if they want to come down, go for it, but plan on getting a hotel room.
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  • Don't worry about his feelings, he's clearly not concerned with yours!  Tell him thanks for thinking of you but you're afraid that things will be very busy and hectic with the arrival of the new baby.  Be firm.  Don't budge.  It's great that his plans are flexible, so he can come after baby is born, when he's invited.  Time to protect your nest.  Don't back down!
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  • I have people coming for the birth... mostly parents (3 sets). ?But I already told everyone that they CAN NOT stay in my house. ?If they want to come they either have to stay with friends in the area or get a hotel... so sorry. ?I refuse to be uncomfortable in my first few days, feeling like I have to be a hostess... chances are you're going to be cranky and your boobs are going to ache and you are not going to want people in your house... visiting hours ONLY.?

    ?

  • I guess I don't see a problem with them being at the hospital, you don't have to let anyone in until you are good & ready. But staying at your house is another matter. I'd tell them they are welcome to come, but they have to find somewhere else to stay while you and baby get used to being at home.

  • I don't have a mom, but my sister is coming. I think having her and DH there with me is plenty.. but I would definitely like time to bond with the baby/try nursing/etc before I get bombarded with visitors.

    I haven't had people tell me they're coming yet, so hopefully the family doesn't mind waiting until we're all settled in the hospital or ready to come home. I don't mind if my dad and brother show up, but that means my dad's wife and my brother's girlfriend are going to want to come, too, and I'll have to draw the line.. "immediate family only" may be my instructions to the nurse-staff: "If they're not related to me by blood or they aren't my DH or his parents, they stay out until I give the OK."?
  • I am so sorry this is happening, but I feel your pain!!! My parents are coming and so is my MIL.  Which is already going to be stressful since she irritates the living crap out of me.  My MIL also told my husband that she doesn't want to board her 80 lb lab so she plans on bringing her out as well. 

     I finally had to put my foot down and tell DH that absolutely no way in hell is she bringing her dog.  Lets just think about this.... a brand new baby, loads of people and my 2 cats who hate dogs all under one roof.... Does this sound idiotic to anyone else... apparently I'm the only one who sees the problem with this.

    Not to mention she wants to be in the room while I'm giving birth.  Again, not happening.  Only my mom and DH will be there.  I absolutely do not want her seeing that part of my body!

     Long story short... I feel your pain.  You are just going to have to put your foot down and be done with it!!!  This is your time, not theirs!

  • It's the first lesson in parenting.  Standing strong for the benefit of your child and your family.  You can't help if someone gets their feelings hurt, it's your child and you raise it the way you see fit.  This is just the begining my friend.
  • Wow, are you even close to this Uncle? Obviously you are not physically close to him if he would have to come from 20 hours away. I guess the same way people don't have boundaries with you when you are pg, they don't think that they have to have any when the baby is born. If this is your mom's brother, I would iterate to her again that he can't come stay at your house, and certainly can't be in the delivery room with you. If they want to wait in the lounge with everyone else, I don't think that I would have a problem with that, but they need to understand that those first days and weeks are for bonding with your baby. GL!
  • Tell him very firmly that if he plans on coming he needs to get a hotel room, otherwise don't plan on coming for a month or so.  Don't worry about hurt feelings.  It's going to be a crazy time and the last thing you'll want are unwanted houseguests.
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