2nd Trimester

The family I married in to, HELP!

First off I don't get along with my BIL. just a small example why. we were all moving stuff around for their step MIL. He was too busy making important phone calls and had meetings he couldn't cancel (he doesn't work FYI) so I started to help move the light stuff and also feed their 1yr. because they are also moving (into his In laws house...) They are catholic and want "as many children as God will give them" they have a 2 yr, 1 yr. and she MC in Jan and now PG again. I don't agree with this due to the fact he has no income and moving now 3 children in to his in laws house. Not to mention he is a complete user. He will go to football, basketball, baseball games and expect one of their parents to watch the kids, he has had his mom drive in the last 3 weeks to watch their kids so "they" can pack ( I would die if I ever saw him do any work) she also watched them while he took his wife to vegas for a week. Their children are raised most the time by other people, so I guess just having more won't affect their lives.

On top of this we just found out my FIL was picked up in Dallas (visiting his GF) and is now in jail. Seeing as his wife wants nothing to do with him now... my BIL said "he will move heaven and earth to bail him out" I have already told my DH that he is not coming to live here while he waits for trial. (seeing as my BIL can't put him up and wife is gone...) He treatened to kill his GF and stole a bunch of money from the firend he was staying with so you can see why I dont want him living in our house or being home with me all day...

Am I just completely a B for hating my DH's family? I really dont need this kind of stress right now but they are his family... This is all just what happened in the last week! we have been married for 2 years... I think we just need to move, far far away. How would any of your handle this. because I am getting a shorter and shorter fuse lately

Re: The family I married in to, HELP!

  • I am sorry.  I do not care for my IL much but it sounds like you have it worse.  Try to remember it is your DH's family and he still loves them, probably I am guessing.  It is your house as well so if you are not comfortable with your FIL living there tell your husband.  You do have to put you and your husbands needs first so try to stay calm and just explain to DH your opinion. GL
  • Yikes.  I'd be all for the moving far, far away option.
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  • FIL sounds like a boat load of crazy to me.  I definitely would not want him hanging around the house with me. 
  • I think I would go with the moving far, far away option. DH's family was so nuts that we could not be in the same city with them anymore, and we left. They see it as running away, but it was either that or get a restraining order. We do not need people ringing our doorbell and pounding our door repeatedly, or peeking through our windows and letting themselves into our garage while we are out. Of course they are his family and of course he loves them, but there's the family you're saddled with and then the family you choose. You do not always have to choose to put up with the family you were born into.
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  • I'm so sorry. My inlaws are crazy too...esp MIL. Basically I try to keep a safe distance and recommend you do the same too. I think your hubby should put you and the baby first as it's your responsibility to bring that little one into a calm and peaceful environment. Good luck.
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  • My brother at 17, empregnated his 16-year-old girlfriend.  Since then (9 years ago) she has become a born again Christian and he has converted from Judaism to become a Southern Baptist.  They're married and have two kids. They have a very different lifestyle than the one my brother and I grew up in.  For example, they don't even let their kids watch Disney movies, and they get upset when they drop in on my parents and there's "Law & Order" on the TV!

    The situation grew worse until my parents would see my borther's family three-four times a year, despite living a mile away. 

    Ultimately the tension grew to be too much and my SIL decided to move her family from Washington state to Tennessee.  It was hard on my parents at first, but it actually worked out for the best.  It's easier for everyone to have the physical distance impose a separation than merely the ideological difference impose the separation.

    I think moving to where visits are few and far between would not only be good for your sanity, but may also be good for your ILs!

  • you and DH should leave and never look back.  far, far away. 
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