2nd Trimester

DH & the "nursery" - long

Please tell me I am not loosing my mind!

Yesterday I started to clean out our spare room to make way for the nursery - we moved in 3 months ago to this 2 bdrm apartment from a 4 bdrm house so we have a lot of stuff that doesn't have a home yet and it's all been bundled in the spare room.  DH gets home and is like "what are you doing" so I told him, and then asked what he plans on doing with the huge TV we have in there (we already have a huge TV in the living room) and the 2 massive military foot lockers he has, and here is what he said - "Honey don't freak out, I have a plan, I was just going to stack those things, along with all the other stuff along the wall in here, put the crib in and call it good"

 UMMMMMM NO!

I told him as calmly as I could at this point that it wouldn't "just" be a crib, that it would be a hope chest, a chest of drawers and a rocker/glider.  He then looks at me like I've lost my mind and tells me that he thought the hope chest and chest of drawers was going to go in our room (lord knows where as our room is already full and we don't even have our bed built or our closets up yet!), that he needs the chest of drawers to put his stuff in (he never used it in out last house) and then tells me that we don't have as much storage here as we did in our last place, and what will the baby need a chest of drawers for - the baby is not going to have a lot of stuff.  OK how about clothes, blankets, crib sheets, a place to put diapers and wipes out of the way.

Please assure me that I am not being totally unreasonable in A) thinking that I would like a nice clean/uncluttered nursery, and B) that a baby does indeed have enough "stuff" to warrant the use of a chest fo drawers!


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Re: DH & the "nursery" - long

  • You are not being unreasonable.
  • You're not crazy. I had to tell DH more than once that we will NOT be putting any non-baby items in the nursery. My maternity clothes are in there right now, but that's only till I get into my regular clothes, so it's no big deal.

    Also, we have a dresser instead of a changing table. We put the diapers and wipes in the top drawer, the second drawer is for blankets, sheets, the bundle-me things for the car seat, etc. It's completely full, and we don't even have receiving blankets yet! The bottom drawer is kind of empty right now, but that will be for extra stuff--spare wipes, diaper cream, shampoo, etc.

    We also have a lingerie cabinet. Only one drawer has stuff in it--wash cloths, burp cloths and towels for baby baths.  We have the room to put those things in the bottom drawer of the other cabinet, but I think we'll leave it as is for now.

    We're hanging all clothes right now, but we've been told by many people that we'll end up folding them eventually--a HUGE hassle to hang.

    So YES,  you'll need the dresser (aka chest of drawers).

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  • you're totally right.  it is amazing how much stuff DS has.  his entire dresser is full, and his closet is packed as well.  then we also have 3 HUGE rubbermaid bins in the basement of clothes he's already outgrown. 

    do you guys have a storage unit in your apartment that DH can move the footlockers to?  and maybe store the ginormous TV at one of your parents houses or something until you need it again?

    my nesting when i was PG with DS caused some of the worst fights between DH and i -- sometimes guys just don't understand our need to have a neat, organized space for the baby.  plus our hormones are all fritzy, so that doesn't exactly help either.... 

  • Aw that's cute.  He doesn't realize that a baby has a way of, well, being a living breathing thing that will need, well, stuff.  He's  kinda right in the grand scheme of things a baby needs a place to sleep and not too much else... for a few weeks, anyway.  But the baby will need a safe place to play/roam by himself as he gets bigger.  You're not losing your mind- it just makes sense to create a nursery.  That said, just tell him nevermind, the baby will just sleep in your room.  I am guessing once you get the "clear" for sex around 6 weeks he will be motivated to get that nursery done and baby out!

    You are not being unreasonable- the nursery is one of the most fun parts of preparing for your first baby.  It really is needed to keep things organized.  Good luck!

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  • C.MoC.Mo member
    I don't think you are being unreasonable. I just think he doesn't realize how much stuff baby is going to need. I think a trip to BRU is in order this weekend. Angel My DH had a mild panic attack when I took him there for the first time.
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  • I just wanted a nice, safe place for the baby that's all.

    I know we don't have as much storage here as at our last house, our storage shed outside is already full of his military junk, and since we don't live in the US anymore we can't take stuff to be stored at our parents houses - I told him I think we should sell the tv, as we're not using it and have no plan of using it, but I just got given a blank stare...

    Oh well, once the baby is here and DH gets tired of being woken in the night because the baby is in our room, because the nursery is still full of junk, I'm guessing he'll do something about it!


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  • CRAIG'S LIST is calling your names, LOL!!  That would drive me absolutely insane to have that much stuff but I have like a phobia of clutter, hah.
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  • This post is kind of comforting to me now I know that A) I'm not crazy and B) that this may indeed be a normal DH thing.. I cleaned out one of our spare rooms that DH and I agreed would be the baby's room. My Mom offered to come down and paint it all for me so I had to get it all done by today. But on Sunday DH told me he didn't get why I was going through all the hassel. I told him because the baby is going to be here permenetly and will need its own room even if it does sleep in our room for the first little bit. He just doesn't get all the baby stuff. All of this is so new to him. He is the oldest of 6 kids in his family but they were all adopted so he is use to getting a phone call and then a brother none of the baby stuff. Oh well he will appreciate it once the baby is here I'm sure
  • You are not being unreasonable.  Just remember that DH may be learning a lot right now and he probably thought that you had the same "plan" as him... maybe you can show him some pics of nurseries you like so he understands.  DH and I looked at pictures online at ratemyspace.com and I asked his opinion a lot... this way I know we are both on the same page.

    I agree with the pp- craigslist.com is a good idea!

  • DH loves to hold on to EVERYTHING (he gets that from his mother).  If he had his way we'd never throw out and thing and neither of us would have anywhere to move.

    Maybe it's time to go through everything and decide what you really need in the house?

  • Wow...Azores!  I can see why your stuff is crammed in a 2 bedroom apartment.  Try getting DH to sell the TV and tell him he can get a new one (new technology!) when you get back to the states.  As for his footlockers/military stuff....we have the same problem both being active duty.  Have him see what he really needs...you guys may end up sending stuff back to mom/dad to store for a while.

    BTW...where are you having the baby?  England or Germany?

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