How much and often does dh drink?

orleyl

I have a problem with dh drinking, I hate it. His dad died due to alcoholism related problems and his step-dad is an alcoholic. I am so scared this is going to be him. Lately I feel like he has been drinking more. Like 3-4 times a week, usually like 4 beers as far as I know. Does anyone else think this is alot? and does how much does your dh drink?

KateAndMark

My DH drinks 3-4 beers every night and probably more on the weekend. It does bother me a bit but it doesn't seem to be a problem yet. I would say if your DH's dad and family has alcohol problems then I would really be bothered by his amount of drinking.

julia&jared

My grandfather had alcoholism so I stay away and DH doesn't drink either. If it bothers you then it needs to be fixed. I mean isn't that what addiction is  when you can't stop? I mean it is scary to see someone die from something like that. GL

orleyl

julia&jared:

My grandfather had alcoholism so I stay away and DH doesn't drink either. If it bothers you then it needs to be fixed. I mean isn't that what addiction is  when you can't stop? I mean it is scary to see someone die from something like that. GL

I agree, but he does not see it the way I do. He feels that he works hard and is entitled to come home or go out and drink "a few beers." Its sad but this is the biggest problem in our marriage and he still wont quit. We have an apt for a marriage counselor next week, which he does not want to go. It sucks bc I may end up a single mom bc of his drinking but I refuse to expose my child to that.

whirli

My DH drinks a couple times a week sometimes more than others. I used to drink quite a bit too before getting pregnant. It doesn't bother me.. as far as a drinking problem I don't think DH has one. If it were affecting our relationship, his work, etc. I would be concerned. I don't think it's always how much someone drinks but the affect it has on other people and their lives.. sorry you're going through this :-/

lil_rhody

julia&jared:

My grandfather had alcoholism so I stay away and DH doesn't drink either. If it bothers you then it needs to be fixed. I mean isn't that what addiction is  when you can't stop? I mean it is scary to see someone die from something like that. GL

I agree with this. If it bothers you, that means it's a problem. It doesn't matter how much.

For me, my DH and I seldom drink these days (well now I never, but you know what I mean). My father battles alcoholism, and I wouldn't have been able to marry someone that had the same problem.

YukonC

Let me just preface this by saying my dad is an alcoholic and so I am very aware of how much others drink in comparision to me or my dh...

My DH rarely drinks. If we go out together (not pg), I will have a drink, but he doesn't. He drinks only maybe 1-3 times per year.

While drinking 4 beers 3-4 times a weeks does seem like a lot to me, I think the question is more how is drinking and when. Is he drinking alone or with friends? Is it a social thing? Does he hide it from you? If he is drinking alot alone, or hiding it, then I don't think that is ok. But if he is open about it and it doesn't affect other aspects of his life, then it isn't a problem.

DNK777

DH drinks maybe once every 3 months or so.  Usually 4-6 beers.

Daisy22

My dh drinks a gin and tonic or a beer 2-3 times a week. He usually only has one sometimes 2 on the weekends. Your situation would bother me esp since he has alcoholism in his family. Have you said anything to him?

Daisy22

I just read your other reply. It's good you're going to counseling and hopfully dh will open up in the session. good luck. I hope you all the best.

Rossi17

Ever since our boys died, DH and I have basically stopped drinking.

Hmm.... It seems like he might be heading in the wrong direction. I was told that children of alcoholics have an 80% chance of becoming alcoholics themselves (and/or have some sort of addictive behaviors.) My DH father is an alcoholic, but he has been sober for about 15 years. My BIL had a few issues a few years back, and my DH has always been extremely vigilant with his own behaviors. I would say that if your DH's step-dad is still drinking, and his own Dad wasn't sober for very long before he died, chances are that your DH has a very high likelihood of following in their path. The best thing for you to do is  make sure you and Baby are safe, visit Al Anon, and possibly leave for a while. The faster he hits bottom, hopefully he will realize that he does need help. And the whole, "I can change, I can stop drinking whenever I want, etc." Is a crock of poop, so don't believe him. Of course, if he does sober up, you might never be able to enjoy a glass of wine or beer ever again, because sometimes sometimes sober alcoholics go to the other extreme and feel that no one should be allowed to have alcohol (at least it is my FIL's philosophy) Good luck, and seek help!

My question to you is, do you have parents or someone in your life who depended on you to be the adult? (Doesn't necessarily have to be alcoholic parents. My Mom was sick and depressed for most of my childhood, so I had to play role of "Mom" to my yonger siblings because she wasn't able to do it.)

honeybeee

I think it's a lot.  More than I would be comfortable with at least.  My mother is an alcoholic, and it has ruined her life.  My little sister is the only one of the three of us that even speaks to her anymore.  DH probably has 2-3 drinks per week total on average.  Usually just a glass of wine at dinner on friday or saturday night.

sgrl

It's a sticky subject. One person's perception of a lot is very different than someone else's. That said, I don't think it's healthy to drink that much. And that is coming from someone who spent every weekend last summer on a boat on a lake drinking beer. I love to drink. But drinking 3-4 beers on a weeknight seems like a lot. I would be concerned about my husband if he drank that much. And again, he drinks too. He's on his way home from a boys' weekend right now and he was doing shots of Jager at 4 am. But that is something that happens maybe once or twice a year. On a normal basis, he'll have maybe a beer or two a couple times a month. When not pregnant, I have maybe 3-4 drinks a week. I wouldn't say your hubby is a raging alcoholic or anything. I dated one of those in college and he would drink as much as your hubby drinks in a week in one day. But if it's bothering you and affecting your marriage, then yes, I agree it's a problem. ((HUGS)) and good luck to you.

JessMike07

Dh and I drink on occassion to answer your question.

If your DH has to have it and can't live without it...its an addiction. I think the marriage counseling is a good idea though. See what professional opinion your counselor gives of his drinking habits and let him/her help you guys solve this together. :::HUGS::: GL!

Jill+Dave

I definitely think that's a lot to drink.  Even if DH was drinking 3-4 cans of soda a night several times a week that's just not healthy - let alone alcohol.  That level of drinking is unhealthy on many levels - physically, emotionally, spiritually.  My Dh has maybe 1 or 2 beers once or twice a month.  And will stop drinking completely once the baby is born.  I don't drink at all even before pg. 

My stepmom is an alcoholic - her drink of choice is wine.  She goes thru almost a bottle a night.  If you ask my dad, this isn't really a problem as he ignores it.  If you ask anyone else - it's a BIG problem.  It's soooo unhealthy, not to mention expensive & annoying.  I pray for her to quit drinking all the time. I will not allow my children to be around anyone that's drinking as it's a bad influence.

I don't think it takes having problems at work, a car crash or problems with your spouse to have a drinking problem.  To me if you feel like you need to have a drink whenever you are in a given situation, then you have a problem - whether that's every night to unwind after work or every Friday when you go to the game or out with buds.