Parenting

Speaking of fat alerts... wdyt?

So, one of my oldest friends (from HS) came to visit last week. She is really depressed and her DH sent her down for a girls weekend which was great except it coincided with ILs, but I did manage to spend 2 nights out with her and she spent the days with another friend.

She is depressed about her weight. Now really, like me, she was never skinny. She was always kind of average to chunky, but in a nice rounded not flabby kind of way. She was always fitter than I was (and I'm not a huge slouch).

She is (sorry have to convert it) now 194 pounds. She's 5'3" and wears size 16. She really doesn't look as fat as her weight and size would indicate, but according to her workmates (who are clearly nosey biotches) she might as well be like 300lbs and unable to walk and wearing size 24.

?The thing is, when we were at school she wore size 14 (which is like the average size of an Australian woman or American woman for that matter). She's only gone up 1 size, but quite a bit of poundage.?

So the picture she paints of her image, and this is mostly formed by her reading trashy mags and her awful workplace, is that she looks like the before ads for slimfast or something. She doesn't truly she doesn't. She looks like a size 14 chubby but normal woman. She doesn't have kids yet but she wants to soon, and she thinks she is way too fat to start. I disagree, hey I was overweight when I got pg, and I actually lost weight in the first tri.

I am not saying she's ideal weight or anything but she isn't the monster she thinks she is kwim?

BTW I could seriously punch her workmates in the face. She is a policewoman. The police in her station are really really pigs. The men and the women. It shocked me to hear some of the things they said to her face. And yes I believe her. I already knew they were pigs, just not to this extent. I once rang her up for lunch when I still lived in our hometown and the policeman who took the call yelled out "hey fatso, your lesbian lover's on the phone, wanna take your @$!#@%!## to lunch today?" And that was without saying I was ringing up for lunch only that I was a friend. And also without even attempting to cover the receiver.

Feel so sad for her. She went back home on Monday but will be down for a conference next month. I think I need to organise a spa day or something for us.?

Re: Speaking of fat alerts... wdyt?

  • Not to be cruel, but at that short of height, she really should lose some weight before ttc b/c it's just not healthy. The desired weight for 5'3" is more in the 120's/130's. It's not about being fat; it's just being healthy. I'd hate for her to gain on top of that and put her heart at risk. I know that I have a battle ahead of me b/c I'm about that weight at full term (& 5'1"). And MMML, if I read right, you only have 11lbs! Go on WW for 1 month and  you could lose that, seriously. I hope the best for your friend.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • ZenyaZenya member

    Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 5'3"+ 193lbs =/= size 16 

    I am 5.5 inches taller  and wore that size when I was that weight.

     

    maybe australian sizing is different?  I know irish is.  but american 16 = irish 20.  maybe you go the other way.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Loading the player...
  • and people say you're cold....I think you're sweet to be concefrned for her, and so supportive.

    What I have always found odd is this: people feel free to comment when you're thin. "you're too thin" "eat a sandwich"  " do you have an eating disorder? you do, don't you? you can tell me."

    these are things I had heard over and over until I got fat. now-nobody mentions my extra pounds-they don't comment at all! if I say I lost weight, they'll say "that's great, etc." but it is odd to me how off limits it seems to tell someone they're a fatty.

    I wish someone had mentioned that I was creeping up the scale and stopped me! I did have a guy friend back home who cheered that I had boobs now- that shouldda been a sign.

    Encourage your friend to do WW- it is easy and fun and nobody has to know.

  • ooops! Australian 16 is an American size 14 btw (and I only know that because I have long been an American size 12 and occasionally a 14 in slimfit skirts).

    Yeah no one's saying she's slim, or in the best shape she could be. But there's a LONG way between 300lbs can't walk and on stapled stomach diet v an active police officer who is not having to buy her clothes at special plus size stores. That's all I'm saying...

    I don't think she needs to wait to TTC (being my age she hasn't THAT much time left). ?I'm just drawing a line between the kinds of photos you see in the tabloids and a normal woman on the fat end of what she should be. That's all.

  • ZenyaZenya member

    yeah - it's definitely far from a discovery channel special.  But still the numbers don't make sense to me.  5'3" + around 200lbs wearing a size 14?  I am a tight 14 now and I am 175 and 5'8.  Whatever.  I know that's not your point.

    I don't see the point in waiting to TTC though.  

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"