Parenting

J is starting to notice that people are different colors.

He will see a Native American and say he has brown skin or see someone who is African American (Canadian?) and say they have black skin.  But he'll still say "oh mama, what color his skin?  Black?"  He hasn't really called them their nationality. 

I personally have never used the term "black" to refer to an African American.  However, they don't use the term "African Canadian" here.  So, I am not sure what to teach J to say.  I have been saying African American to him. 

WWYD?  Thank you=)

Re: J is starting to notice that people are different colors.

  • Well, unless their skin is REALLY REALLY REALLY dark then you can still say that their skin is brown.  I personally have never seen a "black" person with BLACK skin.  Just a little technicality that may be able to help you.


    We don't discuss races in our household.  The few times it has come up, I always take to a discussion of ethnicity and that has no bearing on skin color but rather culture.

  • imagemrsterry:

    Well, unless their skin is REALLY REALLY REALLY dark then you can still say that their skin is brown.  I personally have never seen a "black" person with BLACK skin.  Just a little technicality that may be able to help you.


    We don't discuss races in our household.  The few times it has come up, I always take to a discussion of ethnicity and that has no bearing on skin color but rather culture.

    Thank you mrs.terry!  We have been trying to discuss the cultural aspect of people's differences.  We always talk about how lucky we are to have friends who speak a different language, eat some different foods than us. 

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  • I also want to say that it's not that my children haven't noticed the differences in skin color, but it's always just an observation that I confirm with them and then move on.

    Shoot, they notice the differences in just our family alone (and that may help too).  It's an awesome to tool to teach that yes our skin colors are different, because God (or whatever you believe) made us all different in some way or another.  If the questions go deeper than skin color then we can easily delve into the ethnic aspect.  Does that make any sense, or did I just make it all more confusing?

  • makes totally sense!  Yeah, we've been trying to talk to him about how that God made us in all different shapes, sizes, colors and we come in different ages as we "grow up." 

    Thank you again for your insight! 

  • I agree that a race discussion naturally leads to how people are different in all types of ways, but I also think that it's not unfair to acknowledge different races. In some ways it would force stereotypical thinking to equate the two. I have friends of different races, many of whom do not really identify with their cultures much but still look different. As in, it would be unfair and probably offensive to take a kid's observation that my asian friend looks a little different than us to a discussion about egg drop soup and the Chinese calendar, etc. I'd prefer to just say that people all look different, and that we are white and she is Asian (if the kid asking is old enough to ask for specifics and not drop it at "we're all different") Race and culture are often related to one another but not necessarily these days. For that same reason I have never really called people African American. I grew up with a lot of black people and none of them preferred that term to "black". Again, the majority of them didn't particularly identify with their African roots so much and the couple of them that did still referred to themselves as "black" for the most part. To the best of my knowledge, "black" isn't offensive to anybody but of course I could be wrong here - just not in my personal experience. But yeah, if the person isn't American then I think that exempts them entirely from being African American.
  • imagekjlrs:
    I agree that a race discussion naturally leads to how people are different in all types of ways, but I also think that it's not unfair to acknowledge different races. In some ways it would force stereotypical thinking to equate the two. I have friends of different races, many of whom do not really identify with their cultures much but still look different. As in, it would be unfair and probably offensive to take a kid's observation that my asian friend looks a little different than us to a discussion about egg drop soup and the Chinese calendar, etc. I'd prefer to just say that people all look different, and that we are white and she is Asian (if the kid asking is old enough to ask for specifics and not drop it at "we're all different") Race and culture are often related to one another but not necessarily these days. For that same reason I have never really called people African American. I grew up with a lot of black people and none of them preferred that term to "black". Again, the majority of them didn't particularly identify with their African roots so much and the couple of them that did still referred to themselves as "black" for the most part. To the best of my knowledge, "black" isn't offensive to anybody but of course I could be wrong here - just not in my personal experience. But yeah, if the person isn't American then I think that exempts them entirely from being African American.

    I completely agree with you here.  I am one of those people that "race" doesn't equal my ethnicity.  When a person looks as me my race label is "black" but upon speaking with you would find that my ethnicity is actually Hispanic.  So when we discuss ethnicity it's not based on skin color/race either.  I just wish that race would go away since it's a socially constructed concept that has no meaning except to create separating lines that need not exist.

  • I haven't had to deal with this yet...my brother & SIL are African American as is one of her best friends & she's never said a word about it.  I would probably just mention it in terms of colors & differences...not really putting people in racial categories...nowdays it's such a mix anyway that it seems better to keep it very basic in explanations.

    AKA Carol*Brady! IHO my upcoming 10yr Nestiversary--Back to old screenname. My own Marsha, Jan & Cindy... imageDesigning a Life Blog
  • imagemrsterry:
     

    I just wish that race would go away since it's a socially constructed concept that has no meaning except to create separating lines that need not exist.

    I was just going to say this!  I couldn't agree more. 

  • thank you for all your opinions on this. 
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