Parenting

A lil parenting help, please! I'm desperate!! (Long)

(I'm XP-ing here b/c I didn't get that many replies on other boards last week and I'm desperate! TIA!)

Ready for this? Lightning (Feel free to flame me if you wish...)

So, I am fortunate enough to have my MIL watch DD while I work 4 days a week. She is wonderful with her. Takes great care of her, as if she were her own. Makes her fresh applesauce, or other fruit-sauce every morning.Yes However... (here it comes LOL)... She is strangely possessive about how and when to nap OUR daughter. It's totally odd. She naps her right after breakfast (3 hrs after she wakes up), and that's her only nap for the whole day. It's clearly not sufficient timing within DDs day since she is a nightmare when we get her home at night! This is new on MIL's part. She was still napping her twice a day up until last month. We urged her to only nap her once a day, since she does great with one LONG nap a day 3 days a week with me! MIL's rationale... she says DD is too tired to eat lunch at noon and gets cranky and won't eat. "When she doesn't eat it breaks my heart" (insert MIL's teary eyes here). Mind you, her weight is not a problem. AND(!), MIL feeds DD double what I feed her for bfast! So, I'm sure that is the real problem. MIL keeps on feeding and feeding her. She doesn't need so much! No wonder she won't eat at lunch. I wouldn't either. So instead of having her nap once a day, in the MIDDLE of her day (i.e. right after lunch), she naps her after breakfast (at 10:00am), then feeds her lunch when she wakes up. Problem is... our daily schedule goes like this:

7am Wake up, BF, snack of Cheerios & water during car ride to Gma's (40 min)

930AM Breakfast at Gmas

10AM-1130AM Nap

12noon Lunch

630PM We pick her up

715PM Dinner with us at home

8-815PM Bedtime

So, she goes down for her nap after only being awake for 3 hrs, then has to go another almost 9 hours without a nap! Can you imagine what a P-I-L-L she is with us at night? Oh geeze, you can't imagine! AND, more importantly, it's just not fair to DD! It breaks MY heart. So, I have had conversation after conversation with her about DD's naps. I am getting no where. Another wrench in the picture... MIL & DH don't communicate well (they are very stubborn with each other, so communication doesn't fare well btw the 2 of them... they are too much alike!) And MIL is from South America so although her English is great, her comprehension isn't. And she plays it off quite well, and fools all of us. But in the end, she doesn't understand. Hence my multiple conversations & emails about DDs naps = no improvement. She will try what I suggest for 1 day, then say to me, "It didn't work. She was soooo tired! I can't do that again. I'm sorry. She will nap in the AM." In reality, of COURSE she was tired! You've been napping her in the AM for a MONTH now! Do you expect her to change in 1 day? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Indifferent

So, ladies, please tell me I'm in the wrong! Flame me! It'd be much easier for me to accept that I'm wrong, than to continue my crusade on trying to change the way MIL has DD nap. This is driving me bonkers!

If EVER I wish I were a SAHM, it is NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Grrrrrr. How can I express how flippin' frustrated I am via a post? AHHHHHHHHHH!

At least she's not making DD take 2 naps anymore. When DD's home with me, she sleeps 2-4 hrs all at once, right after lunch. It's beautiful! She's not cranky. She's rested and lovely! Please help ladies! HELLLLLP!Zip it!

Re: A lil parenting help, please! I'm desperate!! (Long)

  • Wow. I'm amazed your DD will go back to sleep so soon. Can you suggest that she move breakfast to 8:30 and lunch to 11:00 and then put her down for a nap right after lunch? My DD eats breakfast at home around 7:30 and then eats again when she gets to daycare at 8:30 so I'm not sure she has to wait until 9:30 to feed her again.

    Ask her if she can try it for 3 days rather than just 1. I know with my DD it generally takes her 3 days to get used to a new routine and then she's a rock star.

  • Also, can you ask your MIL if she can give her a snack in the afternoon? That might help her from being such a pill when you get her, or does she have a snack on the way home?
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  • ZenyaZenya member

    if she's tired at 10 then why can't she take 2 naps with your MIL?

    Overall though - she feeds her too much and doesn't listen to you.  That's daycare time for me.  I don't see how it's negotiable with her.  You kid = your rules!

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  • My DD is 2 & gets up at 7 & takes a nap at daycare or home from 1-3 & goes to bed for the night @ 8.  I cannot imagine going back to bed when you just got up from a good nights sleep.  She needs to get with your program.

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  • I would change things completely if I were you and this would be somewhat of a compromise on both of your parts but it could work. ?

    ?7ish- either in the car or before do breakfast. ?She could do waffle or breakfast bar along with her cheerio's.?

    11:00- Lunch ( She will be hungry=happy GMa )

    11:30- nap (later nap+full belly=longer nap)

    5:00- dinner at Grandma's (she needs to eat earlier in MHO)?

    7:15- Snack while mom and dad eat. ?(mini dinner=family time)?

    Tell you MIL that she is waking up starving so you have to do breakfast earlier. ?Try to get her to eat so even if MIL tries to feed her your DC won't eat and just tell her this is how your doing it now. ?Your MIL will probably ?be happy to give her some food for dinner and then DC will not be as cranky when she gets home. ?

    I hope that helps. ?

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