i am a wreck

britishbride05

I am so exhausted, worn out and on the brink of going insane.  DH worked Friday-Sunday late afternoon and then he's at work today.  Of course, this is the weekend that Abby has decided she's going to be insufferable.  If you can call a baby that.  She won't nap AT ALL, she cries and screams all day, and she doesn't want to be anywhere except in my arms.  I love her and i love holding her, but I can't even take a shower.  Peter was home yetserday for like 6 hours, and 2 of those hours he was napping.  I understand he's exhausted from working, but I'm working, too.  I need a nap!  And I'm not sleeping at night because the little one is waking up every hour.  All Abby wants to do is have me carry her around OUTSIDE which isn't practical at 11 pm.  She doesn't even want to be in the glider anymore.  She just wants to be moving and I get that, I would hate to be sitting in a chair or sitting still all day, but I can't even put her down to pee or eat lunch anymoer.

and this solid food thing??  Ok, so she likes food.   A LOT.  And she loves the spoon.... too much.  She will scream and cry the second the spoon is removed from her mouth.  It's not the instant gratification of the bottle and I know it takes a while to get used to the spoon, but man...  and I keep having to remind myself that EVERYONE  goes through this.  I feel awful complaining to my mom/grandma because I have it way easier than they do.  My mom was without any family when we were born, since she we were in Michigan when I was born. And don't even get me started on my grandmothers.  How the hell did they do it????  They didn't speak any english, in a country that was completely foreign to them, had 4 kids each, all unde the age of 10, my mom's mom worked full time, went back to school and graduated from UM with honors, kept a perfectly clean house and cooked dinner every night.  WTF.  I can't even cook dinner most nights and I'm not working.   

sigh.  ok.  enough venting and feeling sorry for myself  lol   off to abby, since she's gotten sick of being in her bouncy chair after 2.5 minutes!!!

MariM

Oh Jen, I am sorry. Being a mom is hard and I won't lie- I was not prepared. Hang in there- like everyone has said- this to shall pass and one day you will be a party with a drink in your hand, Abby will be a big girl, running around and playing with the other kids and you will be telling this story, "When Abby was a baby she gave me the hardest time..." We will survive this! ;-) Right now Nadia is having the worst time with her mouth. She is super super super fussy, unhappy and totally not like herself. We are ALL going through the same thing. You are NOT alone. Hang in there!!!

wrenr

She might be feeling your stress and reacting to it. I know that it always seemed that Maia acted the worst when I was the most stressed. If DH was out of town, or if I hadn't been able to sleep. I think they realize that you're not calm and it starts to freak them out because you are their source of how the world is doing. I know it's hard to do, but try to take a few deep breaths and think about when things will get back to normal. As for the spoon thing, I remember my aunt saying she had to use two spoons so that my cousin wouldn't freak. She had one in each hand ready to go once the other came out of the baby's mouth. Seems a bit extreme, but if it stops the crying for a sec it might help you out. Good luck! (Don't worry if you can't calm down, cause I never could either, lol)

MrsLeanna

I'm sorry, this will pass.  Keep repeating that.  It will I promise. 

Try motion and sound.  I know you said she didn't like the glider anymore - when all else failed with naps, I would put Alexis into her swing and put it on one of the higher settings and put white noise on.  Loud.  Her swing was close to our kitchen so I would turn on the fan over the stove.  Or when all else failed, the vacuum worked wonders.  It sounds loud to us, but it's like magic to them!! 

Then sleep when you can, b/c you need it.  Do you have anyone here who can come and take over for a few hours so you can just sleep.   If so, do it.  Ask for help when you need it.  Have you taken her to her pedi to rule out an ear infection?  Other than that it will pass.  The food thing, try giving her some formula before you feed her so that she's not starving when you feed her.  

FSUSammy

Ditto everything Leanna said. I was gonna type up the exact post!

Snshine

Let.her.cry.  Not for days or anything, but if you need to shower or pee, let her cry.  It won't kill her.  This will get better.  Big deep breath in, and out.  Hugs to you!

MelanieJH1016

Ditto Dawn.

 I started this months ago, and it's continued to work.... I lay her down for a nap, and then I hop in the shower. By the time I got out usually she would not be crying anymore. Now she's not really crying anymore, but it keeps me from worrying about her fussing. Sometimes I get out of the shower and she's still fussing, but it's OK!!!!

britishbride05

MelanieJH1016:

Ditto Dawn.

 I started this months ago, and it's continued to work.... I lay her down for a nap, and then I hop in the shower. By the time I got out usually she would not be crying anymore. Now she's not really crying anymore, but it keeps me from worrying about her fussing. Sometimes I get out of the shower and she's still fussing, but it's OK!!!!

 easier said than done... i thought i would be that type of mom, but i am, apparently.  everytime she cries, i run to her.  when she as much as coughs, i'm there.  i'll try... i really will... it's just so hard...

MelanieJH1016

i was like that at first too... but the longer they refuse naps, the crazier you get, and you have no choice but to try something new! i started with ferber, checking on her after 5 min, then 10, then 15, and so on.... and then i just said screw it, let her CIO, and honestly that worked better

Snshine

Flame me for this but she's playing you and you're teaching her that you will answer her every beck and call.  I'm not saying I haven't been there or that it's bad to wait on them hand and foot, I just learned the hard way that your kid can manipulate you.

Nicksgirl121

Ditto what Dawn just said. Riley has me totally wrapped around her finger. And she knows exactly what she is/was doing. When she would make the slightest peep, I would run to her and I didn't think I'd be that kind of Mom either. It's super hard but crying is good for them-not long periods of time, but 15 minutes or so is ok. It is their cardio-believe it or not. And yes, those 15 minutes will feel like FOREVER! Jump in the shower and let her cry for a bit. Hopefully by the time you get out she'll be sleeping and you can catch a nap too. Hang in there and like the girls said, it won't be like this forever and this too shall pass!

 

karenlisa714

Yeah, ditto everyone else about the crying. I mean, I won't let Zachary cry so hard until face is red and he gets sweaty and screaming.... I don't dig the panicked crying. But if he is whimpering and making sounds, I don't get up. Sometimes he'll do it for a couple minutes and eventually fall asleep. Unless he truly starts wailing in a panicked and scared way, I will let him chill out until it passes... and a lot of the time it does.

That said.... that does NOT mean he has not found ways to manipulate Mommy. LOL. He does. It's just in different ways, and he still has me wrapped around his tiny little finger. Hehehe.

Some of the best advice given to me while I was pregnant was by a friend who told me that sometimes it was going to be awful. And when it was, and the baby was crying, and I just wanted to cry, it was okay to put the baby down, go into my room, lay face down into my bed and just cry and scream if I needed to. The baby was going to be fine, and I would feel much better for it. Thankfully I haven't felt that bad (we haven't gotten into teething yet, so maybe it's coming!! hah!) but I've always kept that advice in the back of my mind just in case I need it...

MellyMelB

Ditto everything Dawn said. And its actually not easier said than done because we have been there, done that.

I hope that makes you feel better (that we have been there and used these methods and they work) b/c Abby needs to learn that it is OK to cry. She is 4 months old and I know that is little but right now she is learning from trial and error. It doesn't get easy as she gets older if you keep giving in to the behavior because the older she gets, the bigger her lungs get, and the louder she gets. You need to be a loving nurturing mother who is not afraid to teach your child that YOU are the boss. Trust me.

MariM

I'm reading what the experienced mommies have to say and I'll admit, I too am guilty of not letting Nadia cry- I mean- sure there are times when I have to use the bathroom, or I am in the middle of something and I don't go to her right away because I CAN'T, but for the most part- I am right there next to her... I kind of feel like when she cries, it's because she actually needs something? Maybe I'm wrong... This isn't a problem for me during the day as much as in the middle of the night- sometimes I think she's crying because she wakes up, wants to sleep, but doesn't know how to go back to sleep. I realize that when I put her back to sleep and am doing her a diservice (since I'm not allowing her to learn to do it for herself) BUT, I didn't think she was old enough to let her cry for a bit before I go in and soothe... Is she old enough to start trying this? Can I wait a few minutes and see if she will go back to sleep on her own before I intervene... I'm always scared she is going to get more upset and then falling back asleep will be harder so I jump in early giving her the paci, patting her butt, and when all else fails rocking her, etc... Now that I think about it- I'm wrong... I should give her a chance to make it better on her own, huh?

Sorry to go off on your post Jen... ;-)

nelcen02

I had a similar problem like this but I realized that I **HAD** to do things around the house since it doesn't clean itself. I would just put the baby in her crib (since its the safest place) and let her scream a little. Every day I would do this around the same time and believe it or not, the time in the crib got prolonged. Now she LOVESSS being in there and that gives me a break too.

WARNING: This did take me a while to master, I'm talking about ~ 2 months (this isn't going to happen overnight). She's now turning 4 months.

Have you tried going out with her? Maybe take a stroll around the block or going to the mall? A different scene can soothe the baby as well as mommy. I know I CANNOT be stuck in the house for more than 2 days.