All these BFP make me sad. :(

Angela814

Around September 2007 we decided to start TTC #2.  6 months later and nothing.  I took a great new job and decided to put TTC on hold for at least 6 months.  7 months later, just when everything was going so well, I got laid off.  It was over a year after we had originally decided we wanted to start trying for that second child.  I know we weren't actually TTC for that long, but I still feel like I was cheated.  I should have been holding a baby in my arms at that point.

Well, then without a job, it didn't make sense to start TTC again.  First of all, how would we afford a second baby when we were using our savings account to pay bills?  Would I be able to find the type of job I wanted while I was pg?

I start my new job on Monday.  It's such a great career opportunity.  It's exactly what I want to be doing.

But I still want that baby.  I hate that it's been 1 1/2 years of wanting that baby.

This new job takes a good 2 years of hard work (50-55 hours weeks) before I will be 100% trained and confident.  I can't exactly get pg and go on maternity leave during this time.

So now I have to wait 2 more years to even start TTC again?  This sucks.  If I got pg 2 years from today, Annalise would be almost 6 years old when the baby was born.  I don't want a large age gap between my kids.  I wanted them to be 2-3 years apart.

I can relate to all those dealing with infertility.  Even though we haven't been trying for over a year, I've wanted to be trying for that long.  It's hard to hear about everyone else who is pg when I want so much to be pg, but it just doesn't make sense right now.

mags2041

Aw, sorry!  I can't imagine how hard that is.

But, FWIW, my brother and I are 8yrs apart (I'm older) and we have always been very very close.

Alibabs

I would TTC. You can work away just fine while PG and then just take the minimal maternity  leave. It shouldn't affect your career.

Go for it, I say!!

Good luck!

Alibabs

Oh and there are 6 years between my brother and sister...they were always really close. But TTC now anyway!

Angela814

Alibabs:

I would TTC. You can work away just fine while PG and then just take the minimal maternity  leave. It shouldn't affect your career.

I really wish that was the case.  This is a career that I have to really dedicate myself to 100% in order to do well.  My position is technical support specialist.  I will be doing pacemaker/defibrillator checks and will be working along side the physician in the operating room during device implants.  I can't be distracted with being pg while I'm in these cases.  If a patient died on the table because I wasn't completely focused...  I figure once I'm really comfortable with the position, I should be able to balance it better, but from what everyone tells me, that's close to the 2 year point.

Thanks to both of you for telling me about good relationships with siblings that have a large age gap.  That does make me feel a little better.

BubblyToes

Honestly, and I'm really NOT being snarky, you can't compare this with infertility.  It's one thing to be actively trying for over a year and be met with your period every month and not physically be able to get pregnant and a whole other thing to just not be at a good place in life to TTC. 

Danielvalentine

I am sorry you are feeling that way. I can kind of relate to your post because I was feeling sad seeing all the BFP's all last year, but I was going through secondary infertility not because I was not in a position not to TTC.

Angela814

BubblyToes:

Honestly, and I'm really NOT being snarky, you can't compare this with infertility.  It's one thing to be actively trying for over a year and be met with your period every month and not physically be able to get pregnant and a whole other thing to just not be at a good place in life to TTC. 

I do understand that it's different.  I just meant I understand what it's like to feel sad every time you get your period.  Yes, I'm sure the level of sadness is much different.  FWIW, there were about 6 months in there that we were not TTC and not TTA.  Each of those months I was hopeful that I would have gotten pg.  Of course, I have no luck.

BubblyToes

Angela814:

BubblyToes:

Honestly, and I'm really NOT being snarky, you can't compare this with infertility.  It's one thing to be actively trying for over a year and be met with your period every month and not physically be able to get pregnant and a whole other thing to just not be at a good place in life to TTC. 

I do understand that it's different.  I just meant I understand what it's like to feel sad every time you get your period.  Yes, I'm sure the level of sadness is much different.  FWIW, there were about 6 months in there that we were not TTC and not TTA.  Each of those months I was hopeful that I would have gotten pg.  Of course, I have no luck.

It sucks.  There's no way around it.  When you want something really bad, whatever it is, and you can't get it/have it, it sucks. 

I do get what you're saying.  Totally.  It shouldn't be this hard.

Congrats on the job though.  That's great.

shopgirl78

I am amazed at your patience.  I think at some point I would have just "Eff it...we are going for it."

REOM

Congrats on your new job! It sounds great, and that it will really benefit your family in the long run.

I am 6 years older than my brother, and we are very close. My mom spread us out so that she could have babies longer

summerbrideDC

((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))) me, too.

cmw&tdm

I'm sorry ...

FWIW, if it were me I'd just go for it and worry about the details later.

amiamish

I'm sorry, while I'm not in your exact position we too are putting TTC #2 on hold because of money/job issues. I think our kids will be about 5yrs apart too...sucks.

((HUGS))