HOW do I deal w/ a child who never "wants" to do anything?

summerbrideDC

He doesnt' want to go to music class, he doesn't want to go to school, he doesn't want to go to a friend's house, etc. ?EVERY time we are set to go somewhere (even the most fun of places), I get this line, and the constant whining that goes with it.?

Then, if I'm persuadable enough that we actually DON'T do what I had planned, because of his protests, an hour later (when it's no longer possible to do what he hadn't wanted to do), he pitches a fit because NOW he wants to go to school, music class, his friend's house, etc.?

It is making me mental. ?The hour of whining I'm in for right now before we go to school (which he is happy as a clam about when we get there) is going to make me want to drink @ 9am.

Anyone else's preschooler doing this song and dance right now??

?

mrsterry

Not a preschooler, but it sounds a lot like my 11 (almost 12) year old.  All I can say is that I'm sorry...and I wish I had an answer.

august0605bride

YES.

?

I always regret it if we don't go, so I usually just pack him up despite his protests, and we eventually have fun. ?A PITA when we're trying to leave for sure.?

Sarahb34743

Does pointing out the positive in each sitch make it any easier??

august06mom

When this happens, I just tell DS that we're going to drive there (or walk there or whatever), and he can decide when we get there if he wants to go or not. Once we get there, he's never not wanted to go inside. I'm not sure if he fully understands the choice I'm giving him, but it's worked out well for us, and I don't have to feel like I'm forcing him to do something he really doesn't want to do.

melmax

Umm...yes.  All ava wants to do is "stay home". It drives me crazy b/c it's impossible to get her out of the house- changed, dressed, coat on, in the car...  On fridays we have a tumbling class, which, like your ds, she likes when she's there, but she basically cries "no mama,no tumbling" as we are leaving the house. I have to MAKE her.   No fun, and like you, I'm home more often than I like b/c I don't want to deal with the struggle.

spicy-mustard

august06mom:

When this happens, I just tell DS that we're going to drive there (or walk there or whatever), and he can decide when we get there if he wants to go or not. Once we get there, he's never not wanted to go inside. I'm not sure if he fully understands the choice I'm giving him, but it's worked out well for us, and I don't have to feel like I'm forcing him to do something he really doesn't want to do.

This is what I do as well.  I also have a snack that he loves and ONLY gets when get in the car and that helps sometimes.

PS I'm new ::waves hi::

esposa38

He's been doing this for a while.  It's hugely annoying.  First I was trying to bribe him into the stroller, and that didn't work.  Then I just put him in the stroller and tried to ignore the temper tantrums. But he wouldn't stop screaming until we got wherever we were going, and that wore quickly on my nerves. Recently, and so far very successfully, I've been doing the "I'm leaving you then." act-- whenever he says he doesn't want to go, I just shrug and say "That's fine, but Mommy's going anyway." Then I put my shoes on and head for the door, and he runs after me.  I'm just wondering how long it will continue to work.

lsufan

Ugh. ?Evan does this all the time, and it is so frustrating. ?Maybe I'll try the suggestion to tell him he can decide once we get there. ?He almost always stops whining by the time we're actually in the car on the way to wherever we're going.

ChicagoBaby

I tell her I am going to go without her and have fun while she stays home. She usually changes her mind. Or I don't ask, we just do. Sometimes too much conversation is not a good thing.