What IF has done to me

Tarahville

It has made me annoyed at people who come to my clininc and they are 4-5 months pregnant and they have never been to see a dr.

It has made me bitter.

Seeing a pregnant lady is harder on me than seeing a baby. When I hold a baby it makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

It makes me angry that 16yr old girls can get pregnant at the drop of their pants and here all of us are struggling just to have our own babies.

Your turn!

Mrs.LisaP

It has made me jealous everytime I see someone PG and makes me almost mad at them for not knowing how extremely lucky they are.

Sara Scissors

Mine are about the same as yours.  I'm a parent educator for low income families.  I have one 19-year old that's pregnant with her FOURTH child...yes you read that correctly.  And a 29 year old pregnant with her NINTH! 

Like you said, kids make me warm and fuzzy, pregnant teenagers that didn't want their kids to begin with really starts to get to me sometimes.  I try my hardest to push that aside and remind myself I'm there to help them, but I can't do it sometimes. 

When I took the job I thought I wouldn't be far behind them, but nearly 2 years into TTC it's rough.

jcombs

I hear you sister!!!

I've gained 25 pounds since I started this journey.

I have stopped posting on my local board because almost all the girls are pregnant.

I see little kids while waiting in line at a restaurant and get teary eyed (guess I'm not as mature as Tarah).

I have avoided friends and family and am terrified of hearing another anouncement of another baby in someone else's family, not in mine.

I literally ache for a baby and realize I may never, ever get one.  

Rosiedoll

I am currently working at a Pediatric clinic for my clincals and I get very sad each time I see the children.. I hate that I feel bitter when a mother comes in that has a young child and is pregnant again. I want to scream and say that I should have a turn too! Completely irrational, I know..

LuvBugKel

I feel awful for writing this but.....I sometimes question if I want a child anymore, and that hurts me.

MaybeBabyTime

I am a labor and delivery nurse and pour salt in my wounds every time I go to work.  Last week,  had a single 19 y/o girl who told me she was never going to have more babies because labor is so bad. Well, no one said labor was a walk in the park...hence the name. I wanted to reach across the bed and strangle her and remind her how lucky she is.  The nerve of her to complain....and I had to bite my tongue and sayd "It will all be worth it in the end"

MaybeBabyTime

LuvBugKel:

I feel awful for writing this but.....I sometimes question if I want a child anymore, and that hurts me.

 

Why do you feel this? Is it the struggle? (((((hugs)))))))) to you.....

ladychicago

i agree...   PG people are harder to be around than babies (unless the parents suck, then that sucks, too.... LOL!).     however, i was in a meeting yesterday and one of the men in the meeting, not sure why, ended up having to step out and when he came back, he had his baby girl in stroller sleeping.    she slept through the whole meeting, but everyone was fawning over the baby and hanging around afterwards to oogle and i just got annoyed and left the room.   

i hate that "annoyed" is my first reaction to a stranger's baby.    especially since i have no idea if they went through IF to have her, etc.     

edhid1

It has made me very bitter and negative.  I also question whether I really want to do this.   I sometimes dread a BFP knowing that my chances for another miscarriage are so high...don't think I can take another one.

I get mad at my friend who has twins and tells me that "i would never ever want twins" because it was so awful.  This coming from someone who looked at her husband and got pregnant

I feel sick to my stomach that we have spent over $40K and do not have a baby nor have any guarantess that this IVF will work

LuvBugKel

MaybeBabyTime:

LuvBugKel:

I feel awful for writing this but.....I sometimes question if I want a child anymore, and that hurts me.

 

Why do you feel this? Is it the struggle? (((((hugs)))))))) to you.....

Basically because IF has turned me into a different person, I used to be carefree and easy going but now I'm bitter and obsess over everything.  I miss that person as I'm sure DH does too so sometimes I think that if I just give this struggle up I'll get that person back.

Tarahville

jcombs:

I see little kids while waiting in line at a restaurant and get teary eyed (guess I'm not as mature as Tarah).

 

Nah! Don't think that. I think that the reason it makes me warm and fuzzy is because they are so sweet and innocent. Sometimes I babysit for one of my H's co-workers and I never put him down. When he reaches out his arms to me, it melts my heart...

Ginger71

"Seeing a pregnant lady is harder on me than seeing a baby. When I hold a baby it makes me feel warm and fuzzy. "

I completely agree!

I was listening to the Dr. Laura show today and a woman called in and said she was 20 weeks pg and just does not feel any bond with her baby. She said she doesn't really care that she is pg. Oh, really? I feel so sorry for you not to be feeling anything. I would give my right arm to be in that position. Someone like this can have a baby but I can't? Yup, life's not fair.

piccolina09

I am bitter too and I get upset when I see that some kids at my school are so uncared for...

MrsRyan61804

It has made me very bitter! I was always super excited when there were pg announcements, first in line to help with baby showers, loved buying baby gifts etc. Now I see pg women and wonder do they know how lucky they are? Why is it so easy for them? I really hate who IF has turned me into....and I can't agree with you more I have a harder time with the idea of pregnancy then I do with the actual baby. I think its cause right now I just want to be pg and get through a H&H 9. I Try not to think past that.

LisanCraig

I can relate to all you have said.  I teach HS and we have 14 girls pregnant right now.  We teachers are wondering if they are now trying to get pregnant.  I guess they are having an easier time than I am!

naflmj

Has shocked my Type A personality into realizing I can't control everything...so hard to accept.

Has made me bitter and jealous of people who get pregant at the drop of a hat

has made me angray!!

Shelley-Bean

Agree with naflmj!!

IF has made me leave my profession as a midwife, not only b/c it's painful to see all these women pregnant, but the stress, long hours, and unflexable schedule didn't mesh well with IF.

IF has taken the joy I felt when friends were pregnant.  Now I just cry.  I have dreams of friends being pregnant and I just cry. 

IF has made me bitter.  Now when my co-worker talks about her pregnancy, achieved just by sex after 4-6 wks of trying, I just want her to shut up.  I'm in the next office (paper thin walls), and I will get on the phone, turn my music up, anything to not hear baby talk. 

IF has taken away my hope.  When I started, I was so hopeful, but by the end of IUI, I responded to the BFN "Of course it's negative, why would I possibly think this would actually work." to the IF nurse.  I knew at that point I needed to take a break.

Shelley-Bean

Oh yeah, IF also took away thousands of $$$$ that could have been spend ON a baby, not FOR a baby.

mimi525

It has turned me into a monster! I am angry everytime I see someone preg. I am at the point of disgust where sometimes I don't care anymore if I even have a child .  I never used to feel this way whenever I thought about having a child or seeing someone pg..it's terrible:(