MIL Issues

LilCMom

Ok so I am having some MIL issues (nothing new in my house!). My husband is one of two boys and this will be the first grandchild. I am only 9 weeks and my MIL informed me two weeks ago that she is doing "her nursery" in Dr. Seuss...why does she need to do her own nursery? She's going to decorate a whole room?!! Then yesterday - get this- she bought a mini-van! She says she bought it for her "grandkids" when there is only one on the way, and my brother-in-law lives in Georgia (we are in Illinois) so even if he had a kid tomorrow he doesn't live anywhere close to here! I think she is bored and is just excited, but seriously it drives me nuts! The good news is my DH almost always agrees that she is crazy so he's always on my side, but if I am only 9 weeks and she is buying mini-vans and decorating nurseries what the heck is it going to be like when the baby gets here??!!

Mrvswife

Whoa! Good luck Hopefull she'll run out of steam and won't be so wound up when baby arrives. At least you've got a 24 hr on call nanny!

roxyu

I say let her be excited/whacky.  As long as she's not trying to decorate your nursery or push you in to buying a minivan, I wouldn't get too upset.  This means she is ready to babysit (overnight even) and run errands for you!

jessicaclare

This wouldn't bother me. Its her money to spend/waste on stuff like this. As long as you set clear boundries later on about what roll she will play in the baby's life, I wouldn't worry about it.

She's excited. That's a good thing. 

Danse

Wouldn't bother me at all. It's not like she's going to your house and Suessing up the place, or trading your car in for a mini van.

Pennylane824

I don't see the big deal if she wants to do a nursery. My mom is and my MIL probably would if she had the room. Granted, my mom hasn't bought the furniture yet- but I love that the baby will have a "home away from home" when over at my parents house.

Samantha82

Wow, that would bother me too.  I know we are going to have issues with my MIL.  She's overbearing without grandchildren, I don't even want to think about what it's going to be like when the baby arrives.  That's part of the reason we have not told our parents yet.  We've been enjoying these past few weeks by ourselves.

4everDsgirl

I don't see the big deal, I don't know why what she is doing would bother you...I think that it is sweet and maybe a little over the top...but she seems excited so who cares?

shunt1983

I can understand what your talking about when my first child was born my mil wanted to be there 5 nigths a week.  SO talk to DH about his now and set some boundaries.  And maybe ask her to help with your nursery if she is will to the spend the money maybe she will help.  Also good that she is getting a nursery and minivan so safe for your little one.  good luck and open communication is the key she is just excited. 

DiscusCoach

It is YOUR turn to buy a mini van. It is YOUR turn to decorate a nursery. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she were quiet about these things. By being loud about it it almost sounds like she is trying to steal your thunder. Is she jealous?

AMYfromKY

Wow. ?My little brother offered to switch rooms at my parents house because the one he is in now is connected to another by a bathroom and he thought it would be good for the nursery to be connected to the room DH and I stay in when we visit. ?I thought that was sweet, but then explained that the baby doesn't need a nursery and will just stay in our room. ?After telling him that he told me he didn't really want to do it, but he thought it would be the right thing to do (so sweet again!). ?

I guess it's great that your MIL is involved. ?Mine ignores the fact we are having a baby, but she seems a little crazy to me!?

LilCMom

I really think a lot of it is boredom...and buying things to fill some sort of void. I think it's great that our baby is going to be so loved by someone, but I am just really put off by her over-the-topness. I also had the speech from her when my husband and I first got married that I should:

1. Act dumb and ask my husband lots of questions about the kitchen remodel he was working on (although my husband is extremely intelligent and likes to have smart conversations with me!)

2. Rub his feet when he gets home - I should invest in a $3 bottle of lotion for this.

3. Have a hot meal waiting for him when he gets home.

She told me this over the phone one day when my husband was having a rough week at work and I almost killed her! I work full-time and our house is 50-50 all the way so she can shove it! (still a little bitter about that 3 years later)

2linesin09

Danse:

Wouldn't bother me at all. It's not like she's going to your house and Suessing up the place, or trading your car in for a mini van.

MADE ME LAUGH!!  

Temp200154562509288

My MIL is crazy too, but I would have to say no way to the nursery. I semi understand if she is going to babysit for you or provide some sort of daycare, but she already had her kids

PrettyPrincess5

OMG, I feel bad for you. That is something I would not be able to deal with.

One of my cousins was have her MIL's first grandchild, and like a month before the due date...she couldn't wait any longer and went out and bought a baby doll!!!

Its fine to be excited and everything, but some people need to lay off a little bit!

fauxshelley

I think most women have MIL issues.  Eight years ago when I was pregnant with their first grandchild, my MIL did not even throw me a baby shower.  I asked her if she wanted to babysit part time when I went back to work, but no, she was far too busy for that. 

Six months later when her daughter got pregnant, she threw the biggest (and I mean ridiculous) shower for her and family came from all over the country to attend.  Then she dropped everything to babysit for her daughter daily FOR FREE.  Eight years later, she still watches her kids, picks them up from school everyday. 

My daughter has been blessed to have found a "surrogate grandmother" a sweet lady who takes care of her and spoils her rotten, her babysitter.

So just be thankful she is excited, but be sure and set boundaries.  You will need your DH to help with this.  You need to stand united against the crazy MIL!

MrsLeslie030405

it may be a bit troubling if she continues to go over board but she is free to do as she pleases on her part out of excitment... you don;t need to worry unless she starts interjecting what YOU and DH do for the baby.

I have a very?overbearing, intrusive and argumentative MIL so I know how irritating stupid?stuff?can be... but just put the little?annoyances?in perspective and pick your battles. ?Keep openly commuting with DH though cause the 2 of you need to be a united team if and when there is conflict with your MIL in the future. ?GL!

fauxshelley

Oh, one more thing.... she asked for my daughter's crib when she moved up to a toddler bed so that she could turn a bed room into a nusery for her other grandchildren!!  We let her have it, and now that the other grandchildren are in school, SHE SOLD IT!  I just found out this week - I emailed her to let her know that I would need my daughter's crib back, and she replied, "Oh, sorry I got rid of it last fall."

GRRR!!  I love these MIL vent threads.....  We should do this everyday!  

 

 

PrettyPrincess5

fauxshelley:

Oh, one more thing.... she asked for my daughter's crib when she moved up to a toddler bed so that she could turn a bed room into a nusery for her other grandchildren!!  We let her have it, and now that the other grandchildren are in school, SHE SOLD IT!  I just found out this week - I emailed her to let her know that I would need my daughter's crib back, and she replied, "Oh, sorry I got rid of it last fall."

GRRR!!  I love these MIL vent threads.....  We should do this everyday!  

How inconsiderate!!!!

 

LilCMom

Holy Cow! I think you just won the crazy MIL contest. Yes venting about her in these sessions is very therapeutic! I am very lucky though that my DH is 99% supportive all the time and has several sit-downs with her when she has gone off the deep end.