Fred, I'm so sorry you are dealing with all this. And I'm sure it's worse that you are doing so while, at the same time, trying to weigh the possibility of having a child biologically.
I've been thinking about you often. The only reason I haven't asked you how things were going was because I was afraid it might just make you rehash what you already have had enough of. Please know, however, that we're here to support you, and if you ever want to talk, vent, or just bounce ideas off of us, we'd love to do whatever we can to help. I wish I could make your situation easier for you.