telling his mom

tawnilisa

so i made a post last night talking about how im basically going threw this pregnancy alone cause my babys dad decided he doesnt want to take any responsablity.. but tomorrow im going to talk to his mom and let her know i am pregnant and i've been thinking over and over again about what exactly to say and how to say it..? any suggestions would be great! im soo nervous and scared!!! im sure she'll be supportive but im not exactly positive..

AJluvsLI

Hmm... I'm not sure. ?It really depends on what type of person she is. ?Probably the best thing to do is just ask if you could talk to her about something and then explain what's going on.

tawnilisa

shes really caring and supportive but i asked my boyfriend the other day what his parents would say about this and he was like "idk they'd probly say that you should get an abortion" but i think hes just saying that.. idk

AJluvsLI

tawnilisa:

shes really caring and supportive but i asked my boyfriend the other day what his parents would say about this and he was like "idk they'd probly say that you should get an abortion" but i think hes just saying that.. idk

Aww that's terrible, he's probably just saying that. ?If you think his mom would be supportive just go talk to her, it's important to have someone you feel like you can lean on, especially while you're pregnant.?

AMYfromKY

tawnilisa:

shes really caring and supportive but i asked my boyfriend the other day what his parents would say about this and he was like "idk they'd probly say that you should get an abortion" but i think hes just saying that.. idk

Look I am sure he is around your age and at your age guys are not as mature as girls.  Tell him to F off and just get on with your life.  If you do not think you will be able to give your baby a good life, I would recommend you having him sign over his rights and find a family for your baby.  Do you have a good support system at home? If he doesn't want this baby I don't see the point of his mom wanting it.  She can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do.  GL!

tawnilisa

i actually have only told my boyfriend and my bestfriend that i am pregnant none of my family knows yet im really scared to tell them.. im still living with my parents. and my stepdad has been saying over and over again  since ive been with my boyfriend not to get pregnant because that would be the worst thing possible so that makes it even harder for me to work up the courage to tell them..

AJluvsLI

I'm sorry you're going through this. ?I know it can be really hard but telling them will be the worst part. ?Just do it and get it over with. ?If your parents are anything like mine, they might freak out but once they get it off their chest I'm sure they'll come around and try to be supportive.

And I do have another question, just because I'm curious but if you don't want to answer I won't get mad or anything- how old are you??

AMYfromKY

tawnilisa:

i actually have only told my boyfriend and my bestfriend that i am pregnant none of my family knows yet im really scared to tell them.. im still living with my parents. and my stepdad has been saying over and over again  since ive been with my boyfriend not to get pregnant because that would be the worst thing possible so that makes it even harder for me to work up the courage to tell them..

My advice (not that you asked for it) is to tell your family ASAP.  After you do that, you all should sit down and decide what is best for you and the baby.  I understand it is your baby and your decision, but I feel like if they are supporting you that they should at least help you make a decision.  If you don't mind me asking, are you thinking about adoption or would you like to keep the baby? 

Conway714

This sounds like a very tough situation. Are you close to your mom? I would probably talk to her first before you talk to your boyfriend's mom. Since you are close to his mom, I would probably tread carefully and simply share the news.

Also, it sounds to me like you really want to keep this baby since you are on this site. I would do some research about your all of your options. You might try calling a crisis pregnancy center too. That way when you approach your family, you might stand a better chance of being treated like an informed adult.   

tawnilisa

thanks! im not really sure yet i have been thinking about adoption a lot and trying to talk myself into it but idk if i could give my baby away.. i know there are open adoptions but just the fact that my baby wont be with me everyday is a scary thought

tawnilisa

im am pretty close to my mom but i know if i tell her my stepdad will find out and i just am not ready to deal with his reaction yet..

AMYfromKY

tawnilisa:

thanks! im not really sure yet i have been thinking about adoption a lot and trying to talk myself into it but idk if i could give my baby away.. i know there are open adoptions but just the fact that my baby wont be with me everyday is a scary thought

That is totally understandable.  Whatever you decide to do, make sure it is best for you and your baby.  You don't want you baby to never have anything growing up, but you also don't want to regret your decision every day of your life.  Good luck with whatever decision you make and talk to your parents soon.  Even if they are mad, they will be able to help you out.  

AJluvsLI

tawnilisa:

im am pretty close to my mom but i know if i tell her my stepdad will find out and i just am not ready to deal with his reaction yet..

It will probably only be harder to do if you wait longer. ?Tell your mom first and ask her if she can help you tell your stepdad. ?Usually the wives know how to deal with their husbands so she can probably help make it easier for you.

About the adoption thing- my friend had a baby while she was in high school and gave it away for adoption. ?It was really hard for her but she decided it was the best decision. ?Four years later, she is married and has a baby boy with her husband. ?I guess what I'm trying to say is, it might be difficult to give the baby away but you will always be able to start a family of your own when you feel ready in the future.

But whatever you decide to do, I hope everything works out and that you get a good support system around you. ??

tawnilisa

yea, gosh i've never been soo stressed i just wish i had my boyfriend here for me

AJluvsLI

tawnilisa:

yea, gosh i've never been soo stressed i just wish i had my boyfriend here for me

I know I don't know him but it sounds like you're better off without him. ?

AMYfromKY

tawnilisa:

yea, gosh i've never been soo stressed i just wish i had my boyfriend here for me

So sorry.  I think that it is best you found out he is essentially useless now instead of finding out years down the road.  Right now, it is time for you to step up and be an adult with or without him.  If he doesn't want to be an adult leave him behind! 

tawnilisa

yea i think most of my problem is exactly what you said, i feel bad, i still love him, and im worried that he'll be angry..

well im currently working two jobs. have been trying to save up for college, but now thats going on hold.. im not sure about my what my living situation is going to be after my baby is born, things have been changing sooo much for me i havent figured that out yet..