Well, it was finally confirmed.

Flem052204

My MIL is not a baby person at all.  And I've always understood that and was fine with it.  But now that Katy is 3 yo, it turns out that MIL is really just not a Katy person, either.  I've known it all along, but my SIL finally confirmed it today.  It's not that MIL dislikes Katy--she just rarely remembers that Katy exists and nevers shows any interest in her.  When I'm talking to MIL on the phone, she NEVER asks about Katy and if I bring her up, MIL will give me a polite listen for 15-30 seconds and then changes the topic.

Here's the sad part--when I was PG, MIL asked me to name a first-born girl after her.  We chose not to.  I firmly believe MIL has no interest in Katy because she is still bent out of shape over the name thing.  I bet if Katy were named after MIL, MIL would be showering her with attention.  But MIL is absolutely the type to take out her hurt a resentment at us on a 3 year old.

Since I'm on a roll, I might as well complete the story.  We are planning to name DS James, which was my FIL's name (they were not very happily married until FIL passed away while I was PG with Katy).  MIL is quietly seething over the fact that we will name a child after FIL--she is very jealous that her dead husband will have a namesake but she won't.  For the record--James is also my DH's name and DH's grandpa's name.  So DS is not going to be named after just FIL.  So I was talking to MIL a couple days ago and she said, "You should try to have the baby on St. Patrick's day--then you won't have to name him James--you would call him Patrick instead! (she's 100% Irish, so that would be acceptable to her).  I laughed and said we would still call him James.  She very abruptly said "Well, I have to go, call when you have that baby.  Bye." Click. 

So I guess I've pissed her off again and this baby will be ignored, as well.

 

DandelionMom

Someone needs to tell that woman life is too short for these petty grudges! 

As an aside, I named my middle DD after my great-grandmother (Julia) and my grandma (Frances).  My grandma was never fond of that great-grandmother (it was her MIL) so she'd only call DD 'J.Frances" instead of Julia.  Crazy name drama with MILs apparently never goes away! 

oparcm

Well isn't she a peach.  She sounds like my MIL.  We saw her today and she spoke exactly two words to my dd while we were at a birthday party.  The two words, "move Sydney" so she could get a pic of the birthday child the grandson.  She adores the grandson (and he should be adored because he's so cute but...).  It is her loss though because my dd doesn't even know that is her grandmother because she has no conversations with her.  Dd doesn't get it when I explain who she is.  She calls her "the lady".  Their loss.

Bellisimo

Wow, she seems REAL mature.  That's so sad! 

praline

Ugh, well if that really is the genesis for why she isn't super interested in your DD then she sounds pretty awful.  Can you imagine expecting anyone to name their kid after you?  And then actually suggesting it?  And then begrudging the child when their parents actually want to choose the name they want? 

I'm sorry you have to deal with this...some people have their priorities all messed up!

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Yeah, she sounds like a straight up biotch.

katie277s

Umm, your MIL sounds a bit nutty.  That is so incredibly sad that she takes it out on your DD. 

kancell724

Good thing that your DD has other people to love her. Who needs to have a grandmother around that treats you that way because you weren't named after them? Your MIL sounds like fun.

JillShari

Doesn't sound like your DD is missing out on much in that relationship!!!!!

shopgirl78

I'm sorry, she doesn't seem very nice.

TxGal

What a crazy woman! I would avoid her at all costs.

marigolds

She sounds exactly like my MIL and my father.  Lovely, isn't it?  Whenever I get down about how those two treat her I remember that it is truly their loss and how miserable they must be to have such feelings about a child.  I'm sorry you're hurting. 

kklickka

We had a similar naming situation with my grandmother (who raised me, so she's really more like my mother).  We're naming our son Noah (after DH's grandfather who passed away last year) with the middle name Reese (my grandparents' last name).  My grandmother keeps calling him Reese, even though I constantly tell her that his name is Noah...but she can't stand that his first name is from DH's side and only the middle name comes from her side. 

 Amazingly,  some people actually get more immature with age for some reason.  If your MIL chooses to shut your child out of her life for such an immature, selfish reason, it's her loss.  Your kids will have plenty of people in their lives who love them, don't worry about her!