grrrr...my mother!! (just venting....)

EbethM0231

My mother is not happy at all that I am pregnant.  Maybe it's a mother thing b/c she knows how much work it is, but it's really starting to upset me!  I got a lecture the other evening how "irresponsible" it was for us to get pregnant so fast (we got married Oct. '08) and that she was "disappointed" in me.  I'm not sure where she gets off telling me this when she had me a month before her and my dad's 1st anniversary!  But whatever.... anyway, that got me crying and proceeded to tell her that she makes me feel like that if something would happen to the baby, then she wouldn't be upset about it.  She said "well, I'm sorry you feel like this, but if something would happen then it would just be a lesson learned and you should then immediatly go back on BC"  WTFH???  I thought mothers got excited when their daughters were going to have a baby?  And my MIL is acting the same way.  We told her other day over the phone and all she could say was "what's the rush?"  ARRGHHH!!  This is supposed to be a joyous time in our lives and all I have are 2 negative mothers making me feel bad for bringing a baby into this world. 

My DH has been great though.  He keeps reassuring me that they will come around and all that matters right now is that him and I are excited for this baby!  At least the grandfathers-to-be are happy!  And so are our siblings!  My dad actually patted DH on the shoulder and said "thanks for making me a grandpa"...haha!  Kind of awkward but sweet too!

Sorry, this was long and random.  I just had to vent.  Anyone else have parents act not happy when you told them the news?

ladysingstheblues

Your mother needs a swift kick in the arse.  She has every right to her opinions, but could use a lesson in tact.  Give her time, I guess.  And don't let her be involved....maybe not the most mature angle, but that would piss me off. 

And I hate the whole "so soon after marriage" line.

Rogue Lily

When you get married you become your own family. Your mother has absolutely no right to be "disappointed " in you. Even if she has not happy that you are PG she needs to keep that to herself. This is you and your DH's decision and her opinion has no place in the situation.

You need to tell her to STFU (in nicer words) or she is going to continue to try to guilt trip you about sheeeite for many years to come.

merjmm

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. 

My husband and I got married in May 08 after 9 years of dating.  Our families and close friends were thrilled  so I can't relate with you there but I have since run into 2 people that flat out asked me "didn't you just get married?" "you couldn't wait" and my favorite "was this planned, you know there goes your life".  Nice huh? 

My suggestion is while it may be difficult try to not let them get to you.  Focus on the people in your lives that are happy for the two of you. 

Mrs.DeliaMarieP

I'd stop calling my mother(s) if they behaved that way.  After a few weeks of no contact, they might wonder where you've "gone" and decide to be nice for once.  Don't tolerate their crap, you don't deserve it.  I'd continue to call the other members of the family, but I would avoid them at all costs.

ladysingstheblues

Rogue Lily:

When you get married you become your own family. Your mother has absolutely no right to be "disappointed " in you. Even if she has not happy that you are PG she needs to keep that to herself. This is you and your DH's decision and her opinion has no place in the situation.

You need to tell her to STFU (in nicer words) or she is going to continue to try to guilt trip you about sheeeite for many years to come.

Exaaaactly. 

Rebekah Erler

My parents are divorced and I haven't even told my mom yet because she always says horrible things in my happiest moments.... I've just come to realize she always reacts to things like they are about her, so I'm waiting until I'm out of the first trimester - she's going to find out along with everyone else.  I'm sure that will upset her, but it will keep me from being upset which is what is important right now.  When I told my dad he couldn't stop going on about how bad the economy is and how it's a horrible time to have a baby.  After he aired his worries he started to get excited and is really happy.  DH and I were really annoyed that the people closest to us weren't as happy as we were and jumping up and down, but all have come around with time.  MIL and FIL both were great about it.  I just got married in August - I'm realizing it's hard for my parents (even though I'm 31!) to stop treating me like their "child" and realize I'm a grown woman with my own family.  Give your mom(s) time to adjust, I'm sure they'll come around - especially when they meet the baby!  )  Good luck. 

.completely.amazing.love.

Your MIL sounds like mine. But my mom was happy at lease. My MIL is just crazy. Lol.

CandyMatte

We got married November 15th and got pregnant January 15th