husband mentions weight...

blondie26625

Hey,?My hubby has mentioned on several occasions that I should be careful not to eat too much. ?He says that I will feel bad after the birth when I'm not at my pre-pregnancy weight and he knows I will feel miserable about it, etc.I am over 15 weeks, and I've gained 6 lbs. ?Of course, I realize that I'm going to have gained weight and I am a bit worried about how I will look later, but I'm not about to diet when I'm pregnant! ?I don't know what everyone else has gained???????Last night, after I'd had a very long day (running around from 7am-8:30pm), including 1.5 hours of tennis, I mentioned that my appetite seemed insatiable, and he mentioned it again. ?He is a wonderfully, considerate person and usually isn't so insensitive, so I am quite shocked that he appears to feel this way. ?Regardless of what he says, I feel that it is HIM who is worried about me gaining weight. ?It really hurts my feelings. ?Anyone else have this issue?Am I just being sensitive? ???Thanks!?

patrickandkim

I don't think you are just being sensitive.  Have you told him your feelings before?

leahbrazil

Have you told him that chances are your body will be different after a baby reguardless?

 

mitzi goodson

He is the one that should be a bit more sensitive, your body is going through some major changes & the stress of worring about weight is not going to help you or the baby at all!  Has he been to the doctor with you?  At every appointment my doctor lets me know that I am going to gain between 25-40 lbs & that it is normal to do so; maybe if he heard the Dr. say that he would realize that you are not just eating to gain weight but to nurish the baby growing inside of you!

b.heather

Your weight gain seems right on track. Does he understand how much you are suppposed to gain? My DH is just the opposite - I worry about gaining to much and he keeps saying "You are making another person! Of course you're going to gain weight!"  Perhaps you have him at the doc office with you and ask the doc about weight so he can hear it.

bbin09

Why don't you have your doctor explain what he/she feels is an appropriate weight gain for you to your husband?  DH wouldn't get away with a comment like that once.

jolis_petits_bijoux

No, you are not being too sensitive.  Don't listen to him.  Your husband is being an asshat.  For Christ's sakes, it's not as if you've gained 40 lbs already and have something to be concerned about!  Send him over here, and my weightlifter DH and I will beat some sense into him.

I'd fight fire with fire.    Sweetly tell him that you're PREGNANT and you WILL gain weight, probably up to 35 lbs - maybe more!  Then tell him that you think he's getting a bit soft, and you really hope he'll start lifting some serious weight so he can be attractive to you, you know, after the birth.

penguinem

Six lbs for over 15 weeks is not a lot. Maybe your hubby is just not well-educated about the amount of weight women are supposed to gain. Now, you should be gaining a pound a week!

Maybe he has seen celebrities, etc. go "back to pre-baby bodies" in just a month and he's thinking that you can do that too. I know for my DH, sometimes "facts" or concrete info will quickly solve a problem like this. I like this page that I linked to b/c it not only shows normal gain, it also shows a distribution of weight so that he (or any of us who can't help but worry a little) can see where the weight is going; it's not going to extra fat!!!

https://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancyhealth/aboutpregweightgain.html

You are not "just being sensitive." I would educate him a little, tell him that he is hurting your feelings, and tell him that you are going to do what is healthy for the baby, and if you have to, tell him to stop making those comments. (I know, easier said than done!)

Good luck!!!
 

Kandie35

jolis_petits_bijoux:

I'd fight fire with fire.    Sweetly tell him that you're PREGNANT and you WILL gain weight, probably up to 35 lbs - maybe more!  Then tell him that you think he's getting a bit soft, and you really hope he'll start lifting some serious weight so he can be attractive to you, you know, after the birth.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah!!!

 

You're not being overly sensitive. Enjoy being pregnant and let your husband know that you are more concerned with your baby's health than your (i.e.HIS) narcissism at the moment. My dh is constantly trying to feed me and it drives me crazy, ..so maybe your dh just doesn't realize what an insensitive ass he's being...?

blondie26625

Hey All,

Sorry it's taken me sooo long to reply! ?I've been swamped!

So, yeah, I stayed upset with him over that night, but in the morning when I woke up he had sent me an apology text (he was away on business). ?He said he realized he had been insensitive. ?He hasn't really mentioned it since then. ?I think he knows better now. ?;)

Thank you so much for all your replies. ?They were very helpful. ?I'm glad to hear that my weight gain is on track too, because there are so many books out there with various answers as to how much weight to gain. How confusing!

I'm nearly 19 weeks now, so I guess my bump is starting to look more like a baby, rather than over-indulgence! ?lol. ?

Thanks Again!!!

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tigpom

I would try saying something to him.  I do not think you are being sensitive about it at all and he needs to understand what he is saying to you.  GL