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3rd Trimester
PSA: Things NOT to say to a woman on bedrest.
Feel free to pass these on to some of my family members 
"Wish I could sit at home all day! Must be nice!" Yeah if not being able to meet your own basic needs is nice. Try laying in your bed or on your couch for a whole day not getting up unless it's to pee and see if you don't go batshitcrazy.
"I wish I could switch with you! It would be a vacation for me!" My own sister actually said this to me during my emotional breakdown. No, it's not a vacation. See above. And you're probably the same person who complains about cabin fever after 1 snow storm. Not going outside these 4 walls for upwards of 14 days in a row (thank god for biweekly dr. appointments!) is less like vacation and more like prison.
"Well all the rest of us are suffering by having to go to work everyday." Yeah, and you don't know whether the person on bedrest is getting paid. Given the choice they'd most likely be at work!! They may not be covered by FMLA and may have lost their job completely because of bedrest. You have no idea how this has affected them financially. They may be worrying about how they are going to make their house payment or buy all the things they need for their baby and this can be a very sensitive topic to them. They may also have to make a choice to cut their maternity leave short because of losing money during bedrest, which hurts!
Relatedly, "You'd be so uncomfortable if you were at work." Valid point and I agree, but on the other hand, laying down for extended periods of time is the most uncomfortable I've ever been in my life. Holy hip pain!
(this goes for any pregnant woman, bedrest or not!) Any comment regarding size or weight gain. We can't even freaking walk around let alone exercise. Some of us can't cook for ourselves and have to eat whatever our poor DH's can manage after working long hours and taking care of the entire house by themselves-that might mean quick and less healthy options. Can you blame us for gaining more than we wanted to?
"I could never last on bedrest." This one doesn't bother me that much but it kind of implies there's a choice to the matter. There isn't.
"At least you don't get rude stranger comments since you can't go out!" Yeah. I agree with this one. But I'd still like to be able to go to BRU and buy things to get ready for my baby. Or you know, interact with human beings other than my husband.
Stick with "I'm sorry"
"That sucks."
"I can't imagine what you're going through."
Make reference to the goal at hand. "This time will pass and before you know it you'll be looking at your beautiful baby. It will be worth every minute."
or
(if you're close to the person) "What can I do for you?" But in this case, really mean it. Don't just say it once, make several offers so they know you're not just saying it. It's not easy for us to accept help. Everyone says it but doesn't always mean it. Politely ask again and use specifics, "No really, what do you need done? Can I bring you a casserole (YES!) Can I vaccuum? Take your child to the playground for an hour?"
Remember, we are probably lonely sitting at home or the hospital all day long. Don't just SAY you're going to visit, really do it. Oh, and cancelled visits are DEVESTATING! We don't have much to look forward to!
HTHTIA
This discussion has been closed.
Re: PSA: Things NOT to say to a woman on bedrest.
My sister was on bedrest with her DS. She said she hated it at the time, but after he came, she would've loved a day or two of it back.
I could seriously go for partial bed rest this time around. I don't think I could do it all the time. I know it sucks!
Also, please do not tell me how "nice" its going to be this weekend! ?If I can't go outside and enjoy the sun and warmth please do not rub it in that you can. ?
Love this post!?
Amen sister.. I also hate when people say" Get as much rest as you can now, because once the baby gets here you will never sleep."
I told my DH that I would rather have my baby and be able to walk around the house whenever I wanted and have no sleep vs not being able to do a damn thing except go to the bathroom
Word! I get that one a lot!
When my friend was on bedrest, I said,"I'm sorry. I think I'd go stir crazy."
I do NOT envy anyone on bedrest. I brought my friend homemade cookies and just dropped in every now and then to talk for a few hours. I can't imagine how I'd tolerate that, because she was on bedrest for 8 weeks. Like I said, I think I'd go a little nuts. Being pregnant (under any circumstances) brings out the stupid comments from everyone.
Josiah James
Naomi Rose
Sooo true! Dh used to say #1 to me until he spent one day on the couch with me...now he'll never say that to me again. He couldn't stand just a day.
I love my OB but he keeps saying the one about enjoy your rest now cuz you won't get it again. Thanks, I understand that...but he doesn't know what bedrest is like....it sucks! i'd rather be tired and mobile.
AMEN. ?I'm on week 8 now and it's a hell of a lot less scary than it was 8 weeks ago, so I'm slightly more tolerant of those dumba$$ comments, but still. ?The worst (even though it was always said with good intentions!) was "Keep up the good work! ?Those babies are still cooking because of you!" ?I was totally over emotional, but I just kept thinking, well, that means that if they come early then I failed!
And yeah, don't tell me how nice it is outside. ?In the hospital I couldn't even open a window. ?At least now that I'm home I can do that!?