Stay-At-Home Dad?

BrendaK

I thought some of you might have some good insight on this versus 3rd Tri... 

So, my husband lost his job about a month ago, and given that my city has the highest unemployment rate in the country, the outlook is not so good.

We're trying to look at it from a positive side - it'll potentially give us the opportunity to have a stay-at-home parent for a few months. The thing is - I never envisioned it would be my husband to be the one to stay-at-home... Nor did he.

Is anyone dealing with their husband being a SAHD? Know of any good resources that can help him/me prepare?

star173

My H is a SAHD. Will you have maternity leave? I had 3 months, and by the time I went back to work, he was ready (as ready as you can be). I'd say the same resources you'd use (here, books, other people in your life).

We love our arrangement, though of course I'd rather be the one home with her. Best advice: make sure he gets out of the house regularly (with baby and without). Also, it was very hard for me when I first started back at work, and I even felt a little resentful to dh for getting so much time with DD (i know it's silly, but it's how I felt). If that happens to you, be upfront and honest so you can move past that.

Also, if you want, I could see if dh would email your dh any tips or anything.

tmp-154630562503299

My husband has been  a SAHD since I went back to work at the end of January and he is doing great.  He wakes up with him, feeds him, changes his diaper and plays with him.  I didn't give him any resources, he did call me 3 times within 2 hours the first day but he does great now.  It won't be for much longer hopefully since we need the 2nd income but he gets to spend time with him and i think he likes that. 

FolanMama

We are not dealing with the situation of a SAHD, but for the record, I think it is wicked awesome.  If it fits best for your family, then I don't even see where the second guess is coming from.  Don't let stigma decide what is best for your baby!

Enjoy!

Garnetbaby09

When I go back to work, DH will be a SAHD.  He just goes to school at night so when I get off work at 2, he will leave for class at 3 and we can switch-off...  Hopefully all will go as planned!  As far as preparation, have you taken a child saftey class?  A child-care basics class may help too if he doesn't have experience with babies and diapers, feedings, etc... 

BrendaK

Thanks ladies - some great advice... And so nice to know that I'm not alone!!

star173:

Also, if you want, I could see if dh would email your dh any tips or anything.

Please ask him and let me know - I think it would be so great for my DH to have someone to talk to about it!!

My email address is the_great_she_ra at yahoo dot com... DH probably wouldn't appreciate me giving his email address out on here, but if your DH has some advice to offer, shoot me an email and I'll let you know my DH's email address, so they can do some SAHD bonding! :-)

inbetweendreams

My DH works 24h and then has 48h off. He is home with DS several days a week because of his work schedule. He loves being a SAHD, and it made going back to work after my maternity leave much, much easier. We both love that his work schedule allowed for him to stay at home.

During your maternity leave, I would just make sure that your DH takes an active role taking care of the baby. By the time you go back to work, he'll know how to do things without your assistance. Since you'll be working, you may want to talk about housework, chores, etc. just so you two are on the same page about who does what/when. Staying at home is not easy by any means, so my DH and I still split the chores. GL to you.

Klmorgan83

My DH is a part time SAHD technically.  I work part time (2 or 3 days a week depending on the week)  and DH is a paramedic.  He works 24 on 48 off.  So it works out that most days that I work...he's off.  We only need a sitter maybe 3 days a month.

DH was terrified the first day I went back to work...but he loves it now.  I don't really have any resources for you, but I did what I could to make it as easy for him as possible.  Before I leave for work I get all of the bottles ready for him and put them in the fridge.  That way if DS is really upset he doesn't have to waste time trying to get them ready...he's just got to warm them up. 

Also before I went back, we started making bath time, DH and DS time.  He gives DS a bath every night that he's home, gets him dressed and everything.  We used to do it together, but he started doing it alone so DS got used to me not being there all the time.  And also on days that we're both home, if DS is really cranky I let DH be the one to soothe him a lot of the time.  It's worked well for us!  Your DH will be great, dont worry!

tmp-214118062502913

I was nervous about DH being a SAHD (he is a yoga instructor so he only works a couple of nights and weekend hours) until my DD was born.  He is amazing with her and finds parenting as intuitive as I do.

Make sure DC feels comfortable with DH giving a bottle, changing diapers, bathing before you go back to work.  DH is the one who almost always gives a bath now, and sometimes he is the first to pick her up at night when she wakes for a feeding.

I decided to give DH a month to get used to the role, no getting upset if things are being done wrong (meaning done differently from how I have done them), chores aren't getting done as fast as I would, petty things like DD in unmatching clothing or the laundry not being put away correctly.  The first week was HARD keeping my mouth shut and not wanting to switch roles.  But he is getting more accustomed to it, becoming better at multitasking every day and DD was only really fussy the first two days and since then has adjusted to DH being her daytime caretaker.