Serious SIL vent... unrelated to preg.. long!

pinkladyj

I really have to get this out. You girls sometimes are the only people that keep me sane with DH gone.

So I married into this family that already had some money issues. My FIL was injured a while ago and is on disability. They were used to having tons of money and now its not quite that way. Well... His mother has a SERIOUS problem of not letting her son go. She always hated all of his girlfriends and blah blah. Well He's never been close to his family because they are COMPLETELY different. The sister is OUTRAGEOUS. She thinks she is god's gift to the damn world and feels like she has to be in EVERYONES business. Especially my DH and I. We got married exactly 2 months after her and her hubby and ours was out of no where. like love at first sight kinda thing. Anyway....

My DH joined the army and he wasnt making good money at first. He joined so he would make more and could support us because I have a son already and we are expecting our first child. He chose to be apart of my sons life and he wants to do what he is doing. Well the SIL got jealous and her husband joined the army too. They left for BCT the same day.. HA. GRRR.... Anyway... she knows we get paid on the same day. Well she lives with her parents while her DH is gone and doesnt pay them ***. Doesnt pay her college loans or anything to stay there. She going on trips and doin all this stuff... and she has the NERVE to ask me when I'm going to take MY HUSBANDS money and give it to her family to help out. Her and her mother gang up on my and everytime im with them they are asking for money. Well I tried to avoid it in every way because never do I want to cause problem with my DH's family.. but I cant take it.  THey open our mail they stalk my facebook and myspace to the point I've had to delete them. THey tell me I cant spend my husbands money to buy andything for myself or our son that I need to be giving it to them. MY DH IS SOOOOO ANGRY. But hes away and cant do anything about them. So finally I BROKE ON HER ASS!!! I told her exactly where she could go. I cant do this anymore. Its not their money nor my problem. I dont think I'm being to harsh after the terrible things they have done to me. THe mother insists that she is so hurt her son HAD to join the army because of me... LIKE ITS MY FAULT. and doesnt think that my DH should have anything to do with MY SON because its not his responsibility. AND SHE SITS ON THE NEST AND TALKS ABOUT ME AND ALL THIS *** ON HER LITTLE MILITARY NEWLYWEDS BOARD AND I JUST WANNA PUNCH HER IN THE FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need serious help before I explode on them. Its to the point where I want them completely out of my life and I dont want them even present when I birth this child or thereafter the fact. It's seriously that bad. I've tried and tried to be a loving part of this family but after watching them bad mouth me and tell me what im doing is irresponsible and I'm the cause of my DH being gone and its ALL my fault.. I'm just gonne break.

I need serious advice ladies... like seriously. Being pregnant and these hormones definitely arent helping.

 

HELP

HeyyRed

WOW.

I have no idea what to say. I would however politely tell them that your financial situation with your husband is private and no one's business and that there will be no financial contributions from you at this time.

I would then distance myself from them entirely.?

pinkladyj

and know its not the avoiding SIL post on military newlyweds... its a different girl

pinkladyj

I'm trying my hardest.. I think what is the saddest is that i pushed my husband to try with them.. because he was wanting to give up on his family when i met... and now i see all along he was right. I cant imagine my family being like that.. and I would neverrrrr treat my sons wife or my sisters husband that way.. its shocking to me.

FirefightersBride

Holy WOW! yea...get away from those people! Pronto, before the baby is born!

Suparstarz714

Wow... I wouldn't even talk to them.  If your SIL is living with DH's parents, and they are having money issues she should give them rent money or help buy food and stuff for the house.  When your DH married you, your son became his responsibily too, that is just how that works, if I had a kid before I married DH, he would treat the child and support the child as if it were his own child, and I would do the same if DH had a child before we were married. 

Your money is none of their business and if your DH wanted to join the Army, that is his choice too.  It upsets me when families act like this.  Reminds me of my MIL not with the money, but with the controling... She is upset because my DH got a job (after 10 months of not working) working IN A GOOD AREA at night.  He is home by midnight, it isn't like he is gone all night, she is just mad b/c she doesn't get to see him everyday during the week b/c by the time she gets home from work he has to go to work. 

Don't worry, you are not alone... But being pregnant, you don't need the stress, I would just focus on you, your DH, your son, and baby on the way. 

pinkladyj

Im trying so hard to stay positive! I guess its the negative emails and the ganging up like its highschool that bothers me. Telling me that even tho I didnt do its its my responsibility while my husband is gone! It's not right. My DH lovessss my DS as if he was his own. my son calls him daddy and he loves my son no different than the one thats coming and personally with that being my child. ANd joining the army not only because he wanted to but because he knew it would benefit his faimly i would be sooooo proud of him. ANd not put him down and blame him for the problems. But she to them in their little angel their first and they give her different standards. I hate that it came to the point that I had to be completely rude but it did. They chose to alienate me and my sons so I think they need to live with it!.. just needed some pick me ups from you lovely girls!!! thank you!

MiaVonT

wow I think my SIL and yours were separated at birth!

 

She thinks shes fabulous and always right and oh so mighty ...... just like her mother does. They're the same.

 

My MIL has talked behind our back about our finances and acts like she knows it all and is our accountant. Saying we're oh so poor in actuality she has no money! But doesnt dare ask us because she has learned not to.

 

your in laws need to get jobs or better paying ones. Suggest welfare to the SIL then, see if she likes that. Tell her there are how many bread winners in your household vs. mine? YOU GIVE ME MONEY!

 

And Im in the process of convinving DH the farther away we are the better lol

borc0080

Wow.  Who asks the pregnant lady whose husband is in the service for money?  That blows my mind.  Get the heck away from those crazies and don't look back.

volleydiva

OMG!  I am so sorry that you have to deal with those crazies!  I would have lost it too, so I don't blame you at all!  I agree with everyone else that I would just avoid them at all costs and move on with taking care of YOUR FAMILY, not theirs.  Good luck and we are always here to listen to the vents!