I feel bad for telling my best friend that I don't want her in the delivery room.

sabrina69barnes

  My best friend had her first baby last fall. Her husband was in Iraq when her DD was born. She originally asked me to be her labor coach but I declined beause I didn't know if I would have child care available anytime. she had her mother as her labor coach but also had me there to film the birth so her DH could see it when he got home.

  Originally I was going to have a planned c-section but now I've changed my mind and have decided to go for a vbac. DH and I have also hired a Doula. DH and I only want us, the doula, and maybe my mother ( she lives 8 hrs away) in the room when I'm in labor. I mentioned this to my best friend and then she said something like "and of course me". I feel quility for not wanting her there. I sort of feel obligated to let her be there because I was there when her baby was born.

meryltheresa

I feel like her circumstances were different though.  Her wanting you in the room was her personal choice.  She can't just expect you to be ok with her being in the room.

beth thacker

I would just explain to her that its not that you don't want her in there but you can only have so many people and your DH and mother come first.. and the doula is just common sense.. duhh they're going to be in there! I think if you explain it to her she will understand.

june909

bethiex3:

I would just explain to her that its not that you don't want her in there but you can only have so many people and your DH and mother come first.. and the doula is just common sense.. duhh they're going to be in there! I think if you explain it to her she will understand.

sounds like the best thing to do just explain to her

Mrs_mam

You're already going to have 3 people, one of them who is a paid coach. Just tell her you're already at your max and while you appreciate her wanting to be there, you just can't have another person.

CalinsBride

This is not a tit for tat situation. This is your first day as your new family, and you're entitled to want to keep it that way.

ljlkm

How awkward.  And a little weird that she would just assume like that.  GL!

Pesky

Having someone in the delivery room is a very personal decision.  Just because someone else has a party in their L&D room doesn't mean you need to.  THere is no need for a sense of obligation -- this is not an experience you owe to anyone.  Just tell her you all have decided to keep this birth low-key with minimal people but would love to see her afterwards.

chrissyellen

sabrina69barnes - may I ask why you decided against the c-section? I have been so interested in why women are choosing either or. Like the pros and cons they weighed. Maybe I should create a post.

sabrina69barnes

chrissyellen:

sabrina69barnes - may I ask why you decided against the c-section? I have been so interested in why women are choosing either or. Like the pros and cons they weighed. Maybe I should create a post.

 The more c-sections you have the higher the chance there will be complicationss. It's not safe to have too many c-sections. Some doctors say no more than 3 some say up to 5 is ok but repeat c-sections can also cause fertility problems. DH and I don't know how many more children we want but we want the option of having as many as we want and not be limited to one more. I can try for a vbac this time but if I have another c-section I won't have that option next time.

PrimaandGee

Your mom and DH are enough people in the room.

Partyof5

My BF was so upset that I didn't want her in the delivery room. I am glad that I stood my ground though. She's a bit loud and a drama queen, I had a very quick and intense delivery with my DD. I couldn't have imagined how things would have gone down.

She was so bitter that she didn't even come to see me after DD was born.