Moms of 2 under 2... need a shoulder I think.

kiliwicket

I feel like I am nursing our newborn ALL THE TIME now (and I really am) and still feel horribly guilty about the lack of time spent with DS b/c of this.  He's happy, he's handled the adjustment to his little sister MUCH better than I could have imagined, and every moment I have free of DD, I am playing or cuddling with DS.  Does this balance ever even out in the way I feel?  I know I am giving to each as much as I can, I guess I still feel bad that I'm not able to give him as much attention as I did pre 2nd baby.  *sigh*  How did you handle this?  Please tell me it gets better.

almost momma of two

For me it got better around 6 months. I felt I could take them both places by myself, and she was sleeping better, so I was happier. I felt the same way and I also found out later that I had PPD, so that made it worse. Once she would take a bottle of pumped milk, I started making dates with my older DC. Even if it was just to go to the grocery store. Or I would feed DD and leave immediately after, knowing she would be fine for an hour. DS had adjusted great, but I remember feeling just like you did. It does get so much better. You're going to see them start playing together and loving on eachother and all your fears will go out the window. Hang in there and I suggest going on a date with your older DC.

kellnbri

DD is now almost 5 months....I can tell you that it does get better.  In the beginning I felt like I was neglecting DS all the time.  Now DD is on a better schedule and we have time to play.  She sleeps for about 2 hours in the morning which is just time for DS and me. 

kiliwicket

Thank You.  Even though I can't see it yet, its nice to know there is a light at the end of this tunnel!  I told DH its a weird pang when I'm stuck on the couch nursing DD and I'm watching DS play by himself (eventhough he's perfectly happy) b/c I'm not in there with him like I used to be.

A date is a GREAT idea!  We just gave her a bottle for the first time day before yesterday and she did ok, but I think I would like to make sure she's ok with it before I leave DH to fend for himself!  LOL!

JARbaby

I am not too far ahead of you and I make sure to play with C when J is sleeping. And I spend extra long nursing sessions after C goes to be at night.

Mama Jan

Thanks for posting this - I know it is something I will go through too.  There are moms in my playgroup that said the very same thing to me after their 2nd was born and I know it has gotten better for them.

I can only imagine - because I know with DS I felt like all I ever did was nurse.  It must be so much harder when there's someone you want to be snuggling, cuddling, playing with at the same time.

alisonada

See, I was the opposite, I felt bad that I wasn't giving my baby as much attention as I did my toddler, when she was a baby. DD # 2 spent much more time in her swing, bouncy seat, & Bumbo while I was on maternity leave than DD #1 did, just because I had another kid to take care of and had no choice!

 

SSWJ

I understand!!!  It is so hard to feel like you aren't giving your older child enough attention.  It WILL get better though, I promise.  DS was in the NICU for about a week because he had a small hole in his lung.  DD was sick the week he was born, she I really never saw her.  I felt terrrible.  Then when he was about 2 weeks old he had to go back in the hospital for about 3 days and I didn't see her again.  I felt like the worst mother in the world and just cried all the time.  Seriously she got no attention from me.

But at about 6 weeks, suddenly everything fell into place.  We got a great schedule going and you figure out how to make sure you are giving everyone enough attention.  And DD is no worse for the wear!!

Hang in there.  It is so hard at first, but in a few months you will be having so much fun.  I love having 2.  I can't wait until DS is old enough to start really playing with DD.

soveryexcited

Bleh- I'm going through this right now too. I feel like I have DD constantly in front of the TV watching Sprout since I am constantly feeding DS and changing his diapers. It sucks.