nervous to see friend...help!

carasizemore

It's been about 3 1/2 weeks since we lost our baby and tomorrow I have dinner/movie plans with one of my really good friends who is just two months ahead of where I should be with my pregnancy.  We'd really been looking forward to being pregnant together, etc.  Through the grapevine, I've been hearing that she has been telling everyone how "hard this is" on her. That she doesn't really know how to act around me or what to say.  I can understand that, but really???  Hard on you?!?!?!!!!  Imagine how hard it is for me!  It's going to hurt to even look at her tomorrow, let alone listen to her talk about her pregnancy...Help!!!!  I'm so nervous/anxious about seeing her. Don't know what's going to happen tomorrow evening....

October7

I totally understand how you are feeling!  I got pregnant with 2 of my best friends (we were all due within 10 days of each other) and then I had my miscarriage at 8 weeks.  I was so insanely jealous of them, and they felt super guilty.  Luckily we were all able to be honest with one another and tell each other how we were feeling.  Clearly your heartache is harder to deal with than your friends feelings of guilt that she is still pregnant... but just be honest.  I am really sorry for your loss.  My first EDD is next tuesday and I just had a second misscarriage yesterday... and those 2 friends both just gave birth to beautiful healthy babies.  Its hard, but be open with your friend and let her know how you are feeling...   good luck!

tigercatclea

I know how you feel, one of my close friends is due in May and I am supposed to help her SIL with the shower.  She called on Tuesday, when she heard from a mutual friend that I m/c sunday, and I just let it go to VM.  I know I need to talk to her, but I can't really be sure I won't burst into tears.  She is a dear, sweet person and I have no doubt she is broken hearted for me in the most genuine way. 

 I feel bad in a way that my sadness steals a bit of her joy, if that makes any sense.  She moved here from Korea a couple of years ago when she married one of my best friends, and she was soooo excited that I was pg too b/c all of her sisters live so far away.   I think it can be actually hard for good friends b/c they realize they are a constant reminder of what we would have had, and there is nothing they can do to make us feel better or make themselves less of a reminder.  That being said, it would REALLY piss me off to hear someone complaining about how hard it is for them.  I mean, they are getting their dream, they can suck it up! 

I am going to call my friend this week and try to get all our feelings out in the open, then I will try to take some of these crazy swirling emotions and use them to give me the strength to be more happy for her than sad for me.  Otherwise I am afraid I will lose hope that one day it will happen for me.