Any 1+ y.o.'s still not weaned from bf?
DS is almost 14 months and I really need to work on weaning him, but I am not sure how to go about it. He does not nurse before bedtime, but he does nurse the first thing after I get home from work. I guess he thinks that it is our special time because he throws a humungous fit if I try to withhold it from him. Then I bf in the morning - another fit if I do not give in. In addition, he still wakes up at night on some days - again, the only thing I can do is nurse (not to sleep, I put him down awake, but happy, I guess) or he screams uncontrollably.
Secretely, I don't mind nursing him because I know I will feel sad after he weans completely and our special time together will be over; also, I keep telling myself that it is a cold/flu season and milk is good for him. However, I realize that I need to be working on weaning (no, I am not one to continue nursing for years, I know it is done, but it is not for us) but I am not sure how to do it without too much drama.
Anybody else? And what are you doing about this?
Re: Any 1+ y.o.'s still not weaned from bf?
Hmmm. So how many times do you BF? Just the 2 you mentioned?
I would nightwean first and it will be hard. Maybe even do it over some holidays (do you get days off over Easter?).
Also do you BF more often on weekends?
Re the 2 BFs, I'd do the after work one first. Maybe start off giving a cup of milk and playing a new game or something and then giving a very short BF after that if he insists. Gradually try to make the BF shorter and shorter and only if he really insists until he doesn't fuss for it anymore.
Then the morning one, I'd drop that last.
I BF for about 14 months and started weaning around 12.5 months slowly. I was a SAHM then so I dropped the lunch feed first (replaced with milk) then morning and afternoon tea, then dinner. I dropped the bedtime and wakeup feeds last (had done nightweaning about 10 months).
?I found dropping a feed every 1-2 weeks made it easier. And you might have a slower road since he seems to fuss for it more than DS did.
GL!?
My DD is about your DS's age and she still nurses 4 times a day. this is going to sound stupid but I always wanted "to make it to a year" but I never thought I would struggle to get her to stop, ya know.
I have tried to get her to drop feedings and she's fighting it. I figure in another month, she maybe ready. I will drop the one at lunch (I go on my break) after our spring break. We'll see if the others go away soon.
I am like you, I want to be done but I don't. It's tough!
I'm going to play devil's advocate and ask why you think you need to be working on weaning if neither you or your son are ready to wean? Honestly, nursing 2-3 times a day at 14 months doesn't mean that you plan to nurse until he's 3 or 4, it just means that you both are still getting something from your nursing relationship. If the only reason that you are planning to wean is because society makes you think that you *should* be weaning him, then I wouldn't do it.
Kids change dramatically from their first birthday to their second birthday. And most of the kids I've known (including my own) who were nursing 2-4 times a day at your sons age stopped on their own before their second birthday. My daughter was nursing 5-6 times a day at 12 months, 3-4 times a day at 14 months, 1-2 times a day at 16 months and once a day at 18 months. She was done before 22 months, and the dropping of that last morning session was really sporadic. And if I would have wanted to wean her sooner, it would have been a lot easier to do at 16 months than 14 months. She was much more independent and less demanding about nursing at 16 months than she was at 14 months. 2 months of maturity made a big difference!
Try "don't offer, don't refuse" for a few months. I'd be willing to bet that he'll self-wean over the next few months and you'll both be a lot happier than if you try to force him to stop because its what you think you should do.
But if you find that you become unhappy nursing, and you want to wean, then I would send your husband in for overnight wakings and try to find other distractions to wean from the other sessions. For the after work one, you could try a trip to the playground or an evening snack. For the morning one, I would let your husband get him from the crib and take care of morning duty for a week or two until he forgets about that session.
Good luck!
I definitely agree with MrsAmers.
Start by figuring out your timetable for weaning. You say that you don't want to nurse for years, but does that mean that you want to stop now? By age 2? By age 3? Unless you want to wean now (and it kinda sounds like you don't), then just be patient, and know that he'll naturally get less attached to nursing as time goes on.
If you do want to wean now: 1) Definitely enlist your husband. DD asks to nurse if she knows I'm around, but she'll go for days without nursing if I'm not. 2) Try distraction. DD doesn't usually ask to nurse if we're out and about in the evening. 3) Once you set your limits, talk to your son about them. Like, "No, we only have num-nums at home. We're at Granny's house tonight, so we're not going to do that." Or "You can nurse, but only as long as it takes me to count to 10." I'm surprised by how much DD understands these days -- like if she's hanging out and comfort-nursing, I'll ask her if she's done and wants to go play, and she'll unlatch immediately and run off.
If you're not quite ready to wean yet, then just set a date where you'll re-evaluate, for your own sanity. I asked DD's pedi about weaning at her 15mo appointment, because I wondered if it would be easier to do when she was younger vs. waiting until she got closer to the "terrible two's." Her response: "At the start of cold/flu season? Are you crazy? Talk to me in March."
So now we have an appointment next month and I definitely plan to bring it up again.
At this point, though, I'm leaning towards continuing for a few more months. She'll be starting preschool in June, and I'd like her to continue getting those good BF'ing immunities through that transition. I never ever in a million years thought I'd want to nurse past her second birthday, but due to the circumstances, I'm actually OK with it (if she is!)
Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)
agree with flyer and mrsamers.
we are BFing am/pm only. DD is obsessed and if I even thought about no longer nursing, I'm sure she would smack me if she could. For the sanity of the entire family, we are going to let her self-wean. I still enjoy our time together and it is not inconvenient to our lives.