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Adoption
thoughts on purchasing so soon into the process?
so i had lunch last week with a good friend who has adopted 3 children. She asked me if i had purchased anything for my future children. I told her no, that i wanted to, but MH thought it might "jinx" us... she gave me another way to think about it. She said she would pick up things here and there if it was something uber unique that she wanted to have. She said looking at it gave her hope and gave her positive feelings!
So i wondered how everyone else handles it? When we were first TTC i really wasn't into it, but now i feel ?like i will be a mom one day, so why not??
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Re: thoughts on purchasing so soon into the process?
How far along in the process are you? I guess it depends on that for me. Once we are approved with an agency I will start buying stuff here and there. I know what you mean about jinxing yourself, that's kind of how I think too. But like pp's mentioned to keep myself sane while waiting or even while going through the homestudy process buying baby stuff will help me get through.
Yep, I was totally like your friend, too! When I was having a particularly sad day, I would find something small, like even a cute onesie, to buy and add to our collection. It did give me hope in a way, and made me feel special as an "expectant" mom, because that's what I was! Just in a different way.
I think it's ultimately a personal decision... there's no right or wrong with this one. If you and your DH are comfortable with making purchases now, then go for it! If you or your DH aren't comfortable with it, then there's certainly nothing wrong with waiting either.
I am more like you. ?Before I was pg, we had people offer to give us baby items for our future kids. ?I said no, because I was afraid it would jinx our chances of getting pg. ?
This time around, I will probably start getting ideas for room decor, furniture, etc once my homestudy is approved. ??
I'm somewhere in between. Our child(ren) will be between the ages of 2 and 6, so any sort of practical planning/buying/decorating is out of the question, but I did buy some books that will be appropriate regardless of age very early on. I was excited, and it helped make this strange process we had embarked on seem real. After that, I was pretty much satiated on when it came to every-day stuff.
That said, my parents visited Egypt (my father's homeland) and Germany (my mother's homeland) last Spring, and asked if I wanted them to bring anything back. I told them I'd love any toys or mementos for our child that would help us explain where each member of our family is from. So I now have a little stuffed camel that "sings" just waiting for our child.
Perhaps the most special items we've bought are a stuffed llama and common board game when we were in Peru. I wanted our child(ren) to know that when we were visiting their home country before we met them, we were already loving them and buying momentos of their home for them to enjoy.
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we are just starting to research, so very early on. We didn't want to purchase before we found out about my diagnosis, and then really didn't want to afterwards. But now that we are on a new journey, i feel like it would be a positive thing to do once we have stuff in order. ?
When we started our process we didn't buy anything during our HS...that's not true, we bought books but nothing else. When our HS was done we bought our crib partly to celebrate the milestone and partly because it was STUPID-cheap ($500 and JCP but we got it for $180). Then while our dossier was being compiled we bought carriers (a moby wrap and a baby bjorn) and started adding decor. At this point we're waiting for a referral and when we get it we will have a VERY short window before travelling so we're basically done the nursery and just need to purchase clothes diapers etc when we know the age.
I guess that was a long answer but for us we did buy one or two things very early on as a way of telling ourselves that we weren't going to give up and that no matter how it happened, we would be parents....from there we chose things little by little along the way or when we found the 'perfect' item...hth
Oh girl lol .. we are in the process of preparing for our home study and my nursery furniture is all bought and already arrived (which means I ordered it back in November), we have purchased all 'immediate' needed items until we have a post-placement shower. And, I hired a professional muralist who is in the process of painting the room as I type this.
LOL
I would do this if I was pregnant and would not wait until I was late in the pregnancy nor after the baby was born. So I figure why wouldnt' I do it for adoption? Granted I probably started a bit sooner than I would have if pregnant but .. this is a joyous time for us - even if there will be a few bumps in the road.
LOL, please, I shop all of the time! Not really, but I've been doing the "pick up an odds or end at Target" thing for a long time. Now, I have a lot of nervous energy and Ebay is benefitting.
I say as long as you can handle having all of the baby stuff around, go to town. It is one of the "normal" parts of expecting a baby that we get to experience.
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LOL..i am a total shopper! Plus, i work p/t at PBK (talk about difficult) so i see all. the. time. ?
We are extreme planners. We officially decided to adopt the beginning of November and hired a consultant. Our first home study meeting wasn't until December, but over Thanksgiving we put the nursery furniture together and painted our murals. We already had nursery furniture hidden in our attic passed down from a friend.?
Since then we have bought these gradually. One thing here, another there. I'm adddicted to babysteals so I get things on there. We knew our journey would be pretty quick and we were scared about getting overwhelmed when our baby arrived. Having been through a dry run last week I'm so glad we did it this way. It took a lot of stress off us when we had a lot of other things to focus on.
Like others, it gives us something to get excited about. I will be very happy, though, when the sales people stop asking me if I want to gift wrap my purchase as a present. They give me the strangest looks when I tell them it is for our baby. ?
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yeah! It is SO hard. ?
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i am a planner too actually! And the fun part is, like having a bio child, we weren't going to find out the sex, and this will be the same.
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How are you doing btw??
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good for you and good luck!?
If you build it they will come...right?!?!?! That's how I think. DH thinks it will jinx it. Our process is a long one, has been 5 months since we started the paperwork. We hope to be approved by May and then just wait for a match...could be quick could be years.
We have our crib and just a few clothing articles I've pick-up because I am a compulsive shopper.
Do what feels right for you.