Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Who has gone back to work when they wanted to stay home?

I have to go back Monday and it is tearing me up.  I want to be a stay at home mom SO badly but we can't afford it (yes I have done all the calculations).  Unless we stop paying my student loans, and quit eating, it ain't gonna happen.  All I can think about is how much I DO NOT want to go back.  Please tell me your encouraging stories of how it was "not that bad."
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Carson Henry, born 39w, 2d, via emergency c/s due to no fetal movement and fetal distress.  Seizures, IVH grade 2, brain injury, kidney and liver damage.  Complete blood clot in the artery in his right arm.  27 days in the NICU.  Now discharged from all specialists, excepts his kidney doctor, who will monitor him indefinitely.  My tough little cookie.

Re: Who has gone back to work when they wanted to stay home?

  • could you do something part-time?

     

     

  • No - looked into that too.  Plus I don't think my boss would let me job share - I would have to find another attorney to split my position with.  They have never let anyone do it before in my division.  I am seriously considering going into private practice over this - at least that way I could make my own hours.
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    Carson Henry, born 39w, 2d, via emergency c/s due to no fetal movement and fetal distress.  Seizures, IVH grade 2, brain injury, kidney and liver damage.  Complete blood clot in the artery in his right arm.  27 days in the NICU.  Now discharged from all specialists, excepts his kidney doctor, who will monitor him indefinitely.  My tough little cookie.

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  • Me. I still want to be home. The first couple of weeks were very hard. It doesn't really get better, just more routine, I guess. You tend to get used to it.
  • I felt the exact same way. I dreaded going back every day for the last month of my leave. When the day had finally come, I was a mess. The first day was hard, but the leaving was really the hardest part. Once I got to work and back down to business I started enjoying having some adult time again. Going back to work really wasn't as bad as I was imagining and coming back home to him was so great. Plus, I value my time with DS so much more now that I don't spend all day with him.

    It'll be okay and you'll both be fine!

    P - 9/2008
    A - 8/2010
    L - 1/2013
    S - 3/2015
  • All through the pregnancy I was cool with going back to work and then during my maternity leave I kinda changed my mind.  I looked at all the numbers, but unless we get rid of a car or sell our house and move to an apartment, it just won't work.  2 months later, I'm so glad I work.  The anticipation of going back was WAY worse than actually going.  I stay super busy at work so I can leave immediately to go pick up dd and that keeps my mind off her while I'm at work.  Part time would be nice, but not so available for many jobs - like a teacher :)
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  • I am the breadwinner so there is no way for me to stay home either. It isn't easy but its getting better. I am enjoying my students again but am chomping at the bit to leave right at 3:30 to pick her up and come home.

    Good Luck!

  • Thanks ladies.  I guess I am just going to have to suck it up.  Maybe I will win the lottery in the next few days . . .I guess I should start playing it!
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    Carson Henry, born 39w, 2d, via emergency c/s due to no fetal movement and fetal distress.  Seizures, IVH grade 2, brain injury, kidney and liver damage.  Complete blood clot in the artery in his right arm.  27 days in the NICU.  Now discharged from all specialists, excepts his kidney doctor, who will monitor him indefinitely.  My tough little cookie.

  • I agree that the anticipation was worse than actually going back.  But I do have a sweet deal in that I teach p/t, so I am done at 11 and pick up DS at noon.  I am debating whether to teach again p/t next year or teach a full day.  If I do the latter, we will be in a much better position for me to stay home the following year.  But I'm torn b/c I love having at least part of the day with DS.

    It will get easier once you get into a routine. If you are in a position to start your own practice, I say go for it.  The grow up way too fast! 

    Happily Married since 7/2006
    DC #1 10/2008 TTC #2 since 1/2010
    Natural miscarriage @ 5w3d 1/2011 Chemical pregnancy 4/2011
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  • i tried everything to not go back.....dd was 6 weeks early so biologically i have a 2 week old at home and am back to work......i am very sleep derprived but other than that it hasnt been as bad as i thought.  DH is home with her so i try to tell myself its good bonding time for him and i am appreciating time with her more....i miss her so bad i dont get as stressed with her......good luck!
  • I went back a few days b/f DD turned 3 months and it was sooooo hard the first week.  After the first week it was kind of nice getting out of the house and not having to adhere to a baby's schedule all day.  LOL.  And personally, I think me working makes me cherish my time w/ DD even more.  Now, if I could just work 3-4 days/week that would be perfect!
  • I went back and it wasnt that bad...The first 3 days I was a mess when I had to leave her, but it gets easier.  Now I just tell myself when I leave her that its for the best and that it is necessary for us to fund her college days later in life...  That's the only thing that eases my mind, but you'll have to find your own comforting way...Hope this helps! 

    And good luck! 

  • I felt the same way and was dreading going back. They let me work from home 1/2 days for 2 weeks and then this week I started back full time. I can honestly say it is not anywhere near as bad as I thought. My job is stressful/fast paced and I like that. I thought I would be crying hysterically and I am not. One thing that I do get to do is go home and lunch and see her, but I think in a few weeks I won't do that as much.

    If you enjoyed your job previously it might not be as bad. I really expected it to be worse and actually felt a bit guilty that I was ok with it.

    One last thing- I used to work long hours but at 5:30 I am OUT THE DOOR! :)?

  • I agree- I feel I enjoy the time we have together and make sure it is quality time.
  • This is my third week back and I am still sad, I cried on Monday when I left for work.  I promised my DH I would work two months before making a decision, we can afford it I just hate to give up my job in this economy.  I am working Monday through Wednesday right now so that makes it easier, but I can only do this through July, then it is back to full time.
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    Kylie 10/21/08
    Twin Ectopic - lost left tube 12/29/10
    Surprise BFP EDD 8/21/13
  • I went back a couple of weeks ago - have been taking one vacation day a week - and will soon be permanently part-time - 4 days a week.  This was not the original plan - I had every intention of going back full-time - but after I had Jack and as going back to work got closer and closer - I knew I couldn't do it.  I'm taking a 20 percent pay cut so it's a big hit for us.  And - in this economy - maybe I'm crazy.  I don't know - I just can't be back at work 5 days a week.  I don't want to be away from Jack that much and I'm also exhausted - he is not the world's greatest sleeper.  So this is the choice we've made. 
    Wheee!
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    "When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame

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