Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Did you change you mind on how many kids?

After having your first, did you change your mind on how many children you and DH want to have?

DH and I decided early on in our marriage, before ttc, that we just wanted one child. Now that we have DS, I keep thinking about a second child. DS is great and I can't help but think I might want to experience this all over again. At the same time, I know I won't be able to give a second child what I am giving DS. I won't be able to stay home for a year, and I probably won't be able to breastfeed past my maternity leave with the second one. I also had an awful pregnancy and I worry about ending up with the same complications the second time around. I asked DH what he thinks about a second child and he isn't keen on the idea. His biggest problem is dealing with another bad pregnancy.

Re: Did you change you mind on how many kids?

  • We have always wanted at least 3 kids and having DD hasn't changed that.  If anything, it's made me want to experience everything again.  But then I had an easy pg and delivery.
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  • Yes.  We wanted 2, but have since decided that DS will be an only child.  We don't ever want to do the newborn thing again.
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  • We always just wanted 2, then I had DD and I got to thinking 3. After great thought I still always go back and forth between 2 and 3. I think I am leaning more towards 2. I want our children to have as much one on one time as possible. I never want anyone to feel left out. I think 3 might be spreading us a little thin since we both work full time. I think if we only have 2 we will be able to give them more things/ opportunities in life. I want to be as involved as I can be. Though I hate to think the next t ime I get preggers it will be my last. Boo.
  • We want 3 by may stop for health reasons. Every pregnancy is so different as is every delivery, recovery and childhood. Never expect you can do equally for each child and one will not be worse off than the other for having you stay at home longer or BF longer. They will just know different experiences and that is okay. I could not imagine life without a sibling and I wanted C to know that gift as well.
  • Yes and no.  We always figured we'd have 2 (we never had a set amount- figured we'd take it one baby at a time)  There are days the thought of having 2 kids scare the crap out of me!  Taking care of 1 baby is just time consuming that I can't imagine having a baby to take care of AND a toddler.  Then I think of being pregnant only 1 more time and that makes me sad. 
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  • I want two, DH wants three. I could be persuaded to change my mind but I am a bit older and I had some scares with this pregnancy and I am not going to push it. We will probably start trying for number two in about a year.
  • we were thinking 3... but now we're thinking 2. ?i had an easy pregnancy and DS is a great baby but we want to be able to give them as much attention as possible and provide for them as best they can. ?i'm not sure we can do that for 3 babies in this economy. ?we'll see.
  • We have always wanted 2, but I now am thinking maybe 3.  We want our next to be close in age to DD, but if we go for 3 we will definitely wait awhile.
  • Yes.  I always wanted 3, but I literally almost died after DS was born (pulmonary embolism).  My husband was so scared, so we decided it is best to just have our one little guy :)
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  • We decided a long time ago that we want 2.  I still want another one, but dh has changed his mind.  He doesn't want to go through the newborn phase again, and asks me almost every day if I'm sure I want to do this again. 
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  • imageKari Merks:
    We have always wanted at least 3 kids and having DD hasn't changed that.  If anything, it's made me want to experience everything again.  But then I had an easy pg and delivery.
    ditto this for me too!!
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  • maybe. i'm one of 8 kids and always saw myself with a big family as well...(not 8 though, maybe 4-5).  BUT, i had an emergency c with ds and although I would love to try VBAC, Dr has recommended repeat C/S.  So I am not sure I could go through that 3-4 more times.  :(
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  • I had the pregnancy from hell the first time, and the second was really easy.  Don't expect all of them to be the same.

    After my first I decided I wanted a HUGE family.  After the second we have both decided that 4 would be our max.

  • we wanted 3. but after 2 weeks pp, we knew we would never have anymore. i am so done with the newborn thing!
  • Not really.  I've always wanted 3 and DH wants 2. We'll definitely have 2 and then decide then if a third is right for us.  I SAH so we have to consider how many kids we can afford.
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  • We always talked about having 3 but my recovery from my second c/s was really bad on me.  I had some complications and it's made me second guess doing it again.  I'm sad about it because I do think I would like another child, but I don't think it's worth my health to go through it again.
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  • We've always wavered between 2 (me) and 4 (DH).  I definitely still want a 2nd baby, sooner than later. I think we've decided if the next one is a boy we will stop. If we have another girl and we're ok financially, we'd probably try again for a 3rd and 4th. I want an even number...crazy I know : )
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  • Nope.  I think we still want 4!  In fact, if we wind up with 3 of one sex and 1 of another, I'd be tempted to try one more time for a second so DD or DS has a sister or brother, however it works out.
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    Sarah - 12/23/2008
    Alex - 9/30/2011

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  • I've always only wanted two... and I still feel that way.  However, once I have my second baby I don't know how I'll feel about being finished so we'll just have to see!  Last night, DH actually said "lets just have Ryan... lets only have one baby" because he loves giving her all the attention.
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