I was curious to know if you are Canadian, by chance? I know you said your husband is French Canadian, and just wondering if you adopted in Canada, as we are beginning to explore the process. Thanks!
hey there... Yeah we're both Canadian, and adopted publicly in Ontario... ?Not a whole heck of a lot of us online eh? ?Or maybe it just seems that way! ?I'd be happy to answer any qustions you might have ?about the process...
psssst... I'm Canadian!!!!!!! We're considering an open private adoption in Alberta.
(I used to live in Ontario though and have done some initial research there as well)
Hey! Canada is great...
We did opt for the CAS (public) route. ?Our info night was early November 2008, and on November 20th 2009 our DS was matched with us. ?So ll in al it took us about one year.
I have nothing but wonderful things to say about the toronto CAS. ?The process is long(ish). ?After the info session there is an in home visit from a Social Worker, then you fill in some paperwork, attend nine weeks of courses, filling in paperwork every week for those nine weeks, and THEN your homestudy begins!
The homestudy is meant to be between 4 to 6 visits in your home with your worker. ?At the end s/he will either approve you as prospective parents or not. ?If you are, the real waiting game begins... For us it wasn't too long, some anticipate a longer wait. ?We were told that in Toronto it typically takes 12 to 18 months. And that's how long it took for us to be matched (12 months)
Oh! A note on the nine week course it's called PRIDE (Parent Resource Information Development Education). It's once a week for three hours. ?Every week a different aspect of adoption is discussed, and homework (mandatory) is assigned. ?The homework is all very soul-searchy type stuff, and I think designed to get you (the prospective parent) thinking about your early life, what kind of parent you'll be, and issues surrounding adoption that most of us have never even thought about. ?Gerald (my husband) and I were very pleased to take part in the course... I think others may not be...
The fact the he and I are both men means that we have no grief surrounding fertility... ?The homework, and some of the homestudy can be a bit "invasive." ?I'm sure this isn't news to you, but I think it's important to know. ?I guess private (through an agency that you pay) adoptions are equally invasive... Just be prepared to talk about yourself lots and lots!
I think one very effective coping strategy is to remind yourself that the exhaustive writing and interviewing (and by exhaustive I'm exaggerating) is all for the children's benefit. ?The really terrific thing about the CAS is that the CHILD, and not the PARENT, is the client. ?This means that the entire process is child focussed, and not paret-centric. ?That fact allowed us both to survive the writing... ?It also softens the blow if you are presented for a child, but not matched - we took heart in the fact that it had nothing to do with us, and everything to do with the child!
Did I mention that there is a LOT of writing? ?Every time you see your worker/go to your PRIDE training course you will have to write. ?And, always about yourself. ?It can be really challenging... you not only have to describe yourself to your worker, but you also have to write a profile for other workers/BM's to read... ACK! ?No easy feat.... ?Also the quantity that you have to write can be daunting.... Don't worry about it! ?Stay on top of it! ?
hmmm keep asking me questions, and I'll do my best to keep my ramblings sensical...
ciao for now...?
Thank you! I've heard the process can be a bit challenging and lengthy. We're with Halton region, and the only thing we've heard from our contact with them so far is a suggestion to do a private home study to expedite the process. I wonder if their wait times are longer than Toronto.
This is a lot of great information that will really help with our preparation. How old is your son? Did you specify an age preference, and did you go through many children being presented before your DS? Congratulations! Your story/experiences are really inspiring.
We were presented for 1 child (that we know of) before being matched with our boy... He's 10 1/2 months old, and yes we did specify between 0 to 3 years old... ?The CAS wants you to be as specific as you can be about your wants. ?That way they can match you with the perfect child.
Imho save your money and have the CAS do your homestudy, it's the same process, except with a private worker you pay, and do the PRIDE training at home albeit much much faster.
?I wouldn't trade the lengthy process for the world... we met a bunch of new like minded friends, and learned a lot from the other participants to the training sessions... well worth it! ?There were not only hopeful adoptive parents, but also foster parents and kinship guardians... very interesting to meet all types of resource parents like that...