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I need advice - loooong

So I posted last week about DH losing his job - they were going to keep him on for the rest of the month but yesterday they told him it was his last day. So as of today, we are a one income family. And my income is decent but doesn't cover our monthly bills/expenses.

We are currently living several states away from our families - we've talked a lot about moving back there in the next couple of years. It's been more of a "when" than an "if." The problem is that we bought our house right before the market crashed and it's lost about $30k of it's worth. Since we had a 100% loan, we can't sell for what we owe if we wanted to.

Because of this, we've talked a bit about just packing it in and moving back to be near our families. This would be either selling our house as a short sale or allowing the bank to foreclose (or something along those lines). Both options would destroy our credit, which is not great to begin with right now due to large CC debt and unpaid medical bills.

If DH can find a job quickly, we'll be ok - if he's going to be out of work for more than maybe 2 months, we are screwed. I wish I had a crystal ball! All that concerns me is what is best for DS.

So my dilemma is this: Would it be better to explore one of our house options, destroy our credit, move back to our families, and live in an apt for a few years before we can buy another house? Or is better to try to stick it out in a house where DS has a nice big room and backyard but we have zero family support and are struggling financially?

Neither option sounds great to me at the moment and I'm just at such a loss. Thanks for reading if you got this far!

Re: I need advice - loooong

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    I'm sorry you are going through this. 

    Can you hold out on making this decision for a while? 

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    Wow, you poor things! DH lost his job and we are moving back home near our families too, but we don't own a house. I'm certainly no expert on credit/homeowning, but have you thought about trying ti rent out your house? I think the rental market is good right now b/c so many have lost their homes or can't buy. If I were you I'd probably wait to see if he finds a job and think about renting out the house. GL!

     

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    Stay in your house until things turn around.
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    I am in the same situation! DH was laid off and my salary doesn't even begin to cover our bills.  Our families are about 9 hours away.  Personally we are sticking it out here- we'll figure something out.  We'll be ok until maybe June but after that who knows? Hopefully he will find something soon. I figure I will call CC companies and negotiate a smaller min payment if it comes to that. They would rather you pay something than nothing at all.... Cut out all extras. We are literally not eating out at all!!! My mom is buying clothes for DD so we don't have to. 

    GL- I hope he finds something quickly!!!

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    My immediate thought would be to not destroy your credit looking for a short sale, etc. but then I read about the fact that both of you are SO far away from your families and with your little one, it'd be invaluable for him to be with extended family (grandparents, etc.) while he is being raised.

    How is the job market back home?  If you do get two jobs, who would take care of your C?  If family could help, I'd move in a heartbeat.

    I was laid off in September and now fortunately we are working our finances  to allow me to stay at home.  Not indefinitely but for awhile.  I'd move back to be with them in a second.

    This is such a strain on your marriage and being closer to family would be the next best step to getting back on track.

    You seem really young and this financial struggle will not jeaporadize  your future too much because you have a long time of building wealth to become more stable.

    Bottom line--I'd move back.  At the end of the day, family and support matters.  Not how much (or little) is in the bank.

    Good luck to you!!
     

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    imagelittlelamb99:

    You seem really young and this financial struggle will not jeaporadize  your future too much because you have a long time of building wealth to become more stable.

    Not really. We are 32.  :(  Old and irresponsible I guess!

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    I know it's hard, but I think you should really try to hold onto the house for as long as possible. Letting it go seems like it would be the easy way out, but it will really hurt you in the future.?

    Will your DH be collecting unemployment benefits? Will that combined with your income help? Are there other things ou can live with out to help reduce the monthly expenses?

    Can you get a loan from family?

    I'm so sorry that you have to go through this.

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    I am so sorry to hear that you are going thru this.

    If you can, I would hold out as long as possible.  Pay mortgage/car/insurance/Utilities FIRST, take care of DC's needs and food for the house.  Do not pay other bills, medical bills, credit cards, etc.  Those won't hurt you in the long run, but a foreclosure will and you need a vehicle for emergencies.

    I am so sorry. This really sucks.

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    I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. Is there anyway to hold off on making a decision?  It seems as though you will be strapped financially either way, so why not try to stick it out where your at and not jump the gun on destroying your credit.  Also, maybe you can call your creditors and make arrangements to pay less than your minimums as long as you are making payments?  I don't know, it seems worth a shot.  Good luck with everything!
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    32 is NOT old!  Ha ha!  (but I'm 28....)

    Have you ever heard of Dave Ramsey?  Check out his site, he has a radio program too and is helping a lot of people in this situation.

    He says the most important thing is to take care of family, so if you aren't happy and can have a better life, that's more important. 

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    Before I read this I was thinking go for the short sale and move back home, but I didn't know a short sale would affect your credit like a foreclosure. ?Based on this info I would also try to stick it out as long as possible, or rent your house out and move somewhere cheaper if you can. ?Since you've got the credit card debt and medical bills already, I would do everything you can to keep from further tarnishing your credit, KWIM?

    Or call your mortgage company and tell them you just can't pay that much every month and ask if they will work something out with you - it's worth their while to try to keep you in the house b/c foreclosing costs them $ too. ?A couple of years ago my friend's hubs lost his job and was out of work for 8mos. ?She was supporting a family of 3 with another one on the way on $11.25/hr. ?She said their mortgage company let them pay half the note during that time w/o any penalty fees, and just extended the term of their mortgage and charged them the normal interest rate accordingly.

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    Actually, a short sale isn't that hard on your credit, not like bankruptcy.  I'd also look into doing a Deed In Lieu of Foreclosure where basically the bank takes back the house without a hit on your credit.  You'd have to write a letter of hardship and talk about your dh's job loss, need to move and how your house lost so much value.
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    What about your husband moving home to find a job first while you stay and do what pp say about negotiating down the amount owed, etc.  Seems a bit silly to move near family if your husband doesn't have a job because they you've lost your only source of income (yours).  Once you move near family you could look into renting your place until the market comes back up or you can afford to take a loss by selling the house.  I just wouldn't be willing to gamble that my husband and I would be able to find jobs anywhere with the economy in its current state and at least you'll be making something and can pay some bills in the meantime even if you can't do everything you'd like.
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    I would try to stay in the house as long as possible and maybe give yourselves a timeframe, and if your DH doesn't find a job by that time, then go to the second option of selling your home.  Call your bank and see if they will work with you, explain the situation, and they may be able to help.  Also, is either family able to help out with a loan just to get you through a couple of months without DH's salary?  I would explore all your options and call your creditors and let them know that DH was laid off.  I think a lot of creditors are working with people during this horrible economy.  Good luck to you, and stay positive, things will get better.
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