What would you tell DH?

emizer

I am going back to work tonight! (waitressing) He has been a very helpful dad since the beginning, but I have spent every minute of the last 8 weeks with DS. I am making a list of "instructions" for DH. Eating habits, bedtime routine, etc.

What's one thing you would want to remind DH of while you were gone?  

olivejuice127

To have patients if DC cries. My DH gets frustrated a lot when DC cries and ends up just putting her in her play pen because he doesn't know what to do. He sometimes doesnt understand that babies need comfort and reassurance.?

candreco

For God's sake, do NOT talk to her when you're trying to get DD to go to sleep.  It just makes her more awake.

But I've been telling him that for weeks and it hasn't sunk in yet.  He wonders why it takes him twice as long to get her to sleep

brooke929

You really have to tell him all of that??

Mjmksb04

Just to be patient and don't try to do anything else but care for DS or else he will get frustrated. This might sound silly but I am going out of town for a night in a few weeks (woo hoo!) and I am making DH a very detailed list of things to do to play with DS, just because I know that its hard to think of things to do with them when they are small.

Adjudi-Kate

Your DH doesn't know the bedtime routine by 8 weeks? 

MayDayGirl

I honestly wouldn't tell him anything.  Just leave him an encouraging note and tell him you trust him. (unless you don't) I think it would be offensive to leave a list, like he's a babysitter.  JMO.

Mjmksb04

Adjudi-Kate:

Your DH doesn't know the bedtime routine by 8 weeks? 

 My H still needs help remembering things with DS, not because he is a bad dad, but he has been working full time since DS was one week old so he hasn't been around as much due to work. I don't think you are trying to make her feel bad, but it sort of seems that way.

brooke929

Mjmksb04:

Adjudi-Kate:

Your DH doesn't know the bedtime routine by 8 weeks? 

 My H still needs help remembering things with DS, not because he is a bad dad, but he has been working full time since DS was one week old so he hasn't been around as much due to work. I don't think you are trying to make her feel bad, but it sort of seems that way.

We're in the same situation, but my DH has been so hands on since the day Will was born that I would *never* have to write out instructions for him to care for the baby.

In fact, DH is home with Will today because he's sick and I have not one concern what so ever.

I don't get how, at 8 weeks old, her husband needs instructions on taking care of his own child.

Adjudi-Kate

No, I'm not trying to make her feel bad.  But I think it would make my DH feel bad if I left him a note telling him how to take care of DD.  He got upset last week when I tried to take DD away from him when she was crying because he was insulted that I didn't think he could handle it himself.  I think the guys know more about their kids than we as mommies give them credit for sometimes.

emizer

candreco:

For God's sake, do NOT talk to her when you're trying to get DD to go to sleep.  It just makes her more awake.

 

LOL Exactly the reminder he needs!

He knows what to do but I'm giving him examples of what works best for me. If he feels lost in any way he can try the way I do it. I'm sure he'll feel slightly overwhelmed alone and I'm just trying to be comforting!

gbtc01

I usually leave my DH a note too and my LO is 3 months. My DH is pretty good with her but forgets the basics sometimes.

I would just write the basics though like bath, book, bottle and then bed if that were your night routinee, he can figure out the rest.

GL

zucchinigirl

Hmmm... I wouldn't leave my DH a note, it seems a little demeaning (not quite the word I'm looking for, but you get it...) especially since he's been around since day one.  He know what's up.  Guys just do things differently... but rest assured he will be able to get the baby to bed even if it takes longer and isn't your way.

Sunny1inTucson

candreco:

For God's sake, do NOT talk to her when you're trying to get DD to go to sleep.  It just makes her more awake.

But I've been telling him that for weeks and it hasn't sunk in yet.  He wonders why it takes him twice as long to get her to sleep

omg, my h does this all the time too despite my repeated warnings.

Megan Briggs

My DH is home full time for 7 weeks and I LOVE it.  He is wonderful and probably better at day-to-day baby care then I am.  However, we did have some "how to" discussions before I went back to work.  I phrased it as "this isn't rocket science, but this is what I've figured out.  Feel free to improve on it!" 

 The big thing was learning how to put DD down for a nap. He read the Baby Whisperer and got DD on EASY. 

Ljd425

I left DD with DH a couple of weeks ago and she screamed the whole time I was gone (2 hours) and it was so strange because she never did that before for him.  I think she is really in attachment to mommy mode lately..anyway I didn't leave him a note or whatever, but now that you are talking about I'm thinking, maybe in the craziness of him trying to calm her down a list might of helped.  Sometimes when the baby is screaming a list right there could be some help so you don't go crazy trying to think of what to try next.  I don't think it is an insult AT ALL..and even if it isn't what you would do, the moms doing this are thinking about their baby's well being and I think that is great.  I don't know how my DH would feel about this, but I think I might try it tonight as I am going to the melting pot with my moms group and I think it will mostly just assure me a little if I leave something, even though I know he is capable and an amazing dad.

jay.otter

If he knows how to take care of your DC then leaving a note is insulting. If he doesn't know how to care of him, then that's just sad. DH takes care of DS on his own all the time and has from the start. I don't leave notes or give him instructions. The most I do is let him know when DS last ate, and when I come in I ask DH when DS last ate. Do you really need to explain to an adult that babies need comfort and reassurance and that you need to be patient with them? Geeze.