Probably being selfish but really upset just found out...(long)

CubsGirlNYC

from my parents (who also just found out) that my SIL and brother are expecting their 5th baby in April. I don't get a long with my SIL very well. She has never been nice to me, and while I tolerate her, I don't really care for her. I am not outwardly rude to her. We live across the country from eachother and my parents are in the middle. She is not the best mom in the world, in fact they've had DCFS called on them a couple times. She loves her kids and so does my brother, I don't doubt that. I don't know all the details. My brother works full time and she stays at home. I love her kids, I love being their aunt, but they have issues.

This is DH and my first baby, and we know it's a girl. We are so excited. I am due in June. We told both my brothers in November, and they didn't mention a word. They are due in April. Obviously they knew then. I also emailed them last week when we found out it was a girl still nothing.

I know it is selfish but I am so upset, I feel like they are raining on my parade. They won't tell anyone what they are having and I am scared it is a girl. We have no girls in our family. I wanted the first one. I know it is wrong to feel this way but I'm upset my brother didn't tell me especially after I told him. I feel sad. I will get over it and I know I'm being selfish, but I really can't help how I feel.

CalinsBride

That is a tad selfish...however, your feelings are your feelings. If it makes you feel any better, most people get WAY more excited over a person's first child than they do over subsequent children, especially when its the 5th. I understand that you're sad that they didn't tell you, and that's totally normal. But not everyone is as open about things, so you're just going to have to let that go.

Suparstarz714

I would feel the same way.  And its not the same thing, but trust me, I know just how you feel.  So, just put it out of your mind, sometimes its just easier, your baby is going to be special, even if they do have a girl. 

mrstommyp

A little selfish, but I'm sure as you get more used to the idea it won't be as big of a deal for you.  As far as the girl thing, maybe they are having one and maybe they are not.  My advice would just focus on your excitement and happiness for your own first baby. 

younglove11

i know exactly how you feel .. my fiance and i got engaged and suddenly a month later his 2 female cousins got engaged to men they have been with for a very short time (less than 3mon.) and when we found out i was pregnant and announced it one of the cousins just so happened to announce she was pregnant 3 months later .. same with my brothers girlfriend ..she did the same with the pregnancy (my brother will never settle down and marry) but anyways my fiances cousins mother ..(his aunt) does not like me at all .. everyone thinks it's because she's jealous that her nephew found a good woman (me) and he is setteling down and has a lot going for him and she is just dissapointed about her own life but she convinced her daughters to not like me either for no apparent reason and i think that it all comes down to fighting for attention  in many sitations some people are just attention seekers .. like the people who get sick frequently or have to steal the show on someone elses birthday ... just some examples to see who the attention seekers are .. I've dealt with tons of them in my life and there will always be one in a croud no matter who what or where you are ... they will be around .. just ignore them ..show them they won't get the attention from you so they can try somewhere else ! just focus on everything that is going well for you and keep smiling !!

Jen2004

Not to be mean (to your SIL) BUT your baby is coming 2nd so as the arrival of the other one due in April dies down the excitemnet of yours begins.

jensahokie

You are entitled to feel sad.  They had several opportunities to share their news and didn't, so you feel suprised and hurt because you shared your good news!  I would feel the same way if I suddenly found out I wasn't contributing the first great-grandchild (I think I am, but now I should call around!)  You look forward and think about all of the excitement your baby will bring and it is frustrating to know your own brother kept a secret and is temporarily stealing your thunder.

I think that you are having a normal reaction, but I have been through infertility and I understand how hormones make us think things we might not normally think   Congrats on the girl!!

rrodgers803

I know how you feel, DH and I are kind of going through the same thing. Our baby will be the first grandchild for his parents, well at Christmas his wonderful sister decided to tell everybody that she too is pregnant. YAY for her, damn her I wanted to be special. lol

mom2elijah

To be honest I think I would feel the same way that you are feeling. Not because they are raining on your parade or anything, but because they have been withholding it from everyone for so long I mean she is due in 2 months like Hello, your his sister why would they not mention something so big. I mean a baby is a baby regardless of the number they happen to be.

mommabarker09

I don't think you're being silly, I think they are being immature. How could they not tell you this when they have probably known for 5+ months?? And your parents didn't say anything either?? I guess I just don't get how families could be that way towards each other.

ParisPreggo

Thank goodness I am not the only one that feels this way ... My husband has a very large close family and they just had 3 babies(all boys) born last year. I was excited to be the only one pregnant right now and due to being high risk we haven't even told them we were expecting because we wanted to make sure its healthy at the big ultrasound and announce what it is as well as the fact we are expecting...and then we get the call from his mom today that his female cousin is pregnant and?coincidentally?is due the same time as me Now I feel like when we tell everyone it will just be "oh your pregnant too" I've really been hoping that we will have a girl since there hasn't been one in his family for 3 years... Super selfish but I just wish we would have told them sooner and that we didnt have such close due dates.

CubsGirlNYC

mommabarker09:

IAnd your parents didn't say anything either?? I guess I just don't get how families could be that way towards each other.

 

My parents just found out yesterday as well. They don't live in the same state and my bro and family didn't come home for christmas. No one knew. It's crazy to me. The rest of my family is not like that at all. I told my parents the day I found out I was pregnant, and I think my other brother did as well. It's all just kind of weird.

 

 

xFutureMrs.Franquistx

I think that it is weird that your brother didn't say anything to you.  But maybe they are not talking about it that much because they have already had the spotlight in previous pregnancies and now they are letting it be on you.