2nd time mamas..baby shower?

PitterPat11

When I annouced my pg to my mom and sister they got all excited about planning a shower, I said "No I don't think I get a shower for a 2nd baby, unless it's a boy this time" My mom got all upset and said "That is ridiculous, where did you hear that? I have never heard that before. Every baby gets to be celebrated, no matter the sex you are getting a shower."

Well who can argue with that? If she wants to throw a shower I'm all for it, and if it is a boy this time around I will need clothing and some other little things. So if people want to throw me a shower I shouldn't refuse right?  I do agree with my mom that every baby deserves to be celebrated. So are you having a shower if this is your 2nd?

taelir

We're having one, but it's been 7 years between babies.

DH's family hasn't gotten to throw one for us, so I know they want to.

thejenni

If they want to throw you a party and give you gifts... Why not? lol

My kids are gonna be 14 months apart but even if I have another girl the seasons are gonna be diffrent. All the NB clothes I have are for summer while baby isnt gonna be born untill fall.

goodtobethelarkster

I would imagine this is one of those things that varies by region.

I didn't have a shower with DD because showers, generally, are just not my cup of tea.

That being said, I think I'll probably be forced to have one with these babies.  People were pretty pissed that there wasn't a shower last time and since it's twins and we can't clone all the stuff we already have, I'm thinking it's going to be harder avoiding one this time...

Traycee1242

It's actually extremely tacky to have a baby shower after your 1st baby (the only exception to the rule is previous poster... if there are a LOT of years in between pregnancies)

I have never heard of having another one if you have a different gender. That's ridiculous.

What we do is we have a "Sprinkle" for Mom's having their 2nd (or 3rd, etc).... which is more of a get together to celebrate the Mom and new baby but the gifts (if any!!! remember you just got nearly everything for the last one you had with the 1st baby) are small things.... diapers, wipes, maybe an outfit.

lynsef

A girl at work had her 3rd so we just had a pot luck and instead of buying a bunch of gifts we each made some sort of casserole or chili and froze it so that on really crazy days she would have a nice dinner without having to cook. 

PitterPat11

I don't think its "tacky" I think it all just kind of depends if someone offers to throw one. It's not like I'm throwing one for myself. And last year we had to make a HUGE move and we are making another HUGE move back home in two weeks and had to get rid of a lot of our things, including baby stuff that DD doesn't use anymore. So we probably really could use a shower. My baby shower was mostly clothes last time anyhow, very few big items...actually no big items. We purchased the big items.

lynsef

I agree I don't think it is tacky, if someone wants to throw you one let em have at it!

Traycee1242

PitterPat11:

I don't think its "tacky" I think it all just kind of depends if someone offers to throw one. It's not like I'm throwing one for myself. And last year we had to make a HUGE move and we are making another HUGE move back home in two weeks and had to get rid of a lot of our things, including baby stuff that DD doesn't use anymore. So we probably really could use a shower. My baby shower was mostly clothes last time anyhow, very few big items...actually no big items. We purchased the big items.

Obviously YOU wouldn't throw yourself a shower... but it is for YOU. People will be expected to yet again, get a gift for YOU. And your baby (while SOOOO adorable!) doesnt' look that old... so it wasn't that long ago.

If I was invited to your shower, I would be extremely annoyed. It IS tacky (just look up any etiquette about it.... YOU decided to have another baby. It is not up to everyone else to buy you anything for your baby is pretty much how they put it)

I'm sorry, I'm really not trying to be harsh. But you could really "use" a shower.... you already had one! Good luck if it's what you want to do.

Tanner'sMommy

I am not planning on it.  I already heard talk at work about throwing a shower, but I already declined.  1. I hate being the center of attention.  2. We already have almost everything that we will need.  I do love the idea of having people make a casserole and freezing it though.  If they "insist" on a shower despite my wishes I will give them that idea!

TexasLadyBug

I think it is sweet that your mom wants to host a shower, however I would feel really weird inviting people to a shower for my 2nd when my 1st is still so young. I much rather have a sprinkle, nice brunch with my girlfriends, or a meet the baby get together.?

I am trying to think how I would feel if I received a baby shower invite from a friend who just had a baby within the last 2-3 years. I think that if they set up a registry I would be really annoyed and would not go.

However, if this person was a good friend and it was presented as a sprinkle, brunch, or meet the baby get together I would buy something for the new baby such as a new outfit etc..

I would just stay away with calling this a baby shower and do not register. Registering just says gift grabbing to me at this point.?

j_hope

Nope..DD and this baby are only 2.5 years apart, so I will nto have a 2nd shower.  Where I live, it's very rare to have a 2nd shower, even when babies are far apart.  I wouldn't necessarily be annoyed by it, but I would think it was odd to go to another shower so soon after the 1st.

Temp149801812508276

When my best friend had her second child, I threw her another small shower. We didn't invite nearly as many people as we did the first time, mostly just close friends and family. She never asked for a shower, but I wanted to do it for her.?

If your mom and sister insist, let them throw you one, but maybe keep it more intimate. I personally love to buy baby stuff, even if it is just a cute little outfit, so I would never be offended to be invited to someone's shower. ??

2BWEDN2007

I am of the opinion that second showers (unless there is a vast number of years between babies) are tacky. I would be a little annoyed if I received an invite, but would just politely decline.

It may vary by region like another poster said, but I know here in the NE it is very tacky to have a second shower espeically when the kids are so close together in age.

If it's just your immediate family (mom, sisters, etc.) then go for it.

smurfetteinred

Where I live it would definitely be seen as tacky. It might be different regionally but based on the responses that I saw to people who posted this same question on these boards when I was pregnant with ds - I'd say quite a few people all over the country feel the same way.

I come from a huge family and have many friends who already have multiple children and none of them with the exception of one friend who's daughter was 13 when she had her twins, has had a second shower regardless of gender. The whole point of a shower is to literally shower you with gifts. It's in the name. I would be pretty irritated if a friend or family member invited me to a shower for a second child with the first still a baby themselves. It seems like gift grubbing not baby celebrating to someone looking at it from the outside. 

That said, you know your friends and family. If your family regularly has baby showers for second and later children and you know that invitees won't be annoyed - then go for it.

Mama-Bear

2nd showers seem to be regional.  Here you don't get a 2nd shower unless it's been a while (no matter the sex), or maybe if you're having multiples.  I do agree that every baby deserves to be celebrated, but 2nd showers just aren't a thing around here.

JCM052707

Traycee1242:

PitterPat11:

I don't think its "tacky" I think it all just kind of depends if someone offers to throw one. It's not like I'm throwing one for myself. And last year we had to make a HUGE move and we are making another HUGE move back home in two weeks and had to get rid of a lot of our things, including baby stuff that DD doesn't use anymore. So we probably really could use a shower. My baby shower was mostly clothes last time anyhow, very few big items...actually no big items. We purchased the big items.

Obviously YOU wouldn't throw yourself a shower... but it is for YOU. People will be expected to yet again, get a gift for YOU. And your baby (while SOOOO adorable!) doesnt' look that old... so it wasn't that long ago.

If I was invited to your shower, I would be extremely annoyed. It IS tacky (just look up any etiquette about it.... YOU decided to have another baby. It is not up to everyone else to buy you anything for your baby is pretty much how they put it)

I'm sorry, I'm really not trying to be harsh. But you could really "use" a shower.... you already had one! Good luck if it's what you want to do.

I have to agree that it's tacky.  Like some said, it's one hting if it's been many years and you literally have no baby things, but it's not peoples' fault you decided to get rid of lots of your baby things and get pregnant, what 7 months?, after you just had a baby... If people want to buy you gifts for this one, they will - they don't need a shower to do so. I would also be annoyed and offended to get another shower invite, what, a year or so later? that's just weird.

PitterPat11

Ugh 7mos? No try doubling that.My daughter isn't 7mos. Does she look 7mos? Cause shes 14mos. So we waited over a year to get pg again. No it's not anyones fault we HAD to get rid of our things. (our move wasn't just from a neighboring or close state) And the invite would be two years later. Not that any of that really matters because I wasn't expecting a 2nd shower to being with.

I think it does depend on region. Because all of my friends and family have had 2nd showers and I have never thought it to be tacky or been annoyed by it. And I have always been happy to buy gifts for them and give them anything they may need. I honestly could care less if I had a shower or not, if my family wants to throw me one thats up to them. My main question was just mostly if the 2nd time moms were having a shower, not the opinion on it.

JCM052707

Sorry, I quickly looked at your ticker and thought it was for your daughter, hence the 7.  either way, I wouldn't have said 14 months and that's still REALLY close in age to be having a second shower.

Maybe it's just me, but even if I wasn't expecting a 2nd shower, I would turn it down b/c I'd feel like I was just asking for gifts when I should be using many of the same baby things over again.

 

Jenny3

I really think it depends on the area. Around here (PA) you get one big shower for the first baby and that's it. In my area, you get all your 'big' stuff (strollers, crib, car seat, etc) - much more than clothing. People do and will bring gifts for any other children, but no more big showers.

That said, my husband's family gave me a shower with my 2nd child. Only because it was my husband's first baby and it had been 8 years since my shower with my first. I was 100% against a 2nd shower though and actually embarrassed to be 'showered' with more gifts a second time.

PitterPat11

I would turn it down, but I feel like I would really hurt my mom if I did. We are super close, and we moved away to AK when Finley was only 4mos. So she is really wanting to do this and to spend time with and spoil me and her grandkids, when we move back. Also I agree with the feeling weird about a shower because I should be re-using the things that I already have...but in my case I don't have a lot of those things anymore.(Even though the babies are only 2 years apart) And like another poster said in her area you get car seats, stroller, and crib at the baby shower. All that big stuff, we didn't get any of that at my 1st shower. We bought those things and those are some of the things that we had to give away and we will buy Also alot of DH's family didn't even give gifts because this was the 19th grandchild on his side, so they didn't think we needed anything. (which makes no sense, because we didnt get hand me downs either and don't live near them)

I just know this is something my mom wants to do, and I don't want to hurt her and I would like her to be able to feel more included and do what she wants to do for us. 

scullyhoyy

Nope pretty sure there won't be a 2nd shower. I am totally ok with this since I have all my stuff from DD.

lvisser

Nope... but I barely got a shower for nnumber one, so whatever...

thatgirlang

I have refused a second shower. I think that showers also celebrate your entrance into motherhood and since I am already a mom, I don't need one. But I don't want to be bothered with a typical shower, all the attention, registering, etc so I actually LIKE the etiquette excuse.

I do plan to have a ladies' brunch as a way of celebrating the baby and pregnancy (and me! lol) but without the expectations of gifts. My MIL and BIL's GF (the ones who wanted to throw me a shower) were just as happy about this idea once I nixed the shower idea.

angela&ruben

in my family every baby gets a shower, regardless of #of siblings or time between them. Of course the 1st is a BIG event but the others are more intimate but still a little something to help the new parents. I guess it's either regional or cultural  but if you family wants to do it, let them. I will prob. get a small one (my mom mentioned it last week) and if you go to the Tacky Police they will even say having a mom or sister host it is Tacky too. Do what feels right to you and you know what register also that way you'll get a completion coupon ... even if you dont want to share your registry with the public.