Several of my friends have children ages 1 to 2. They put their children to bed at 8 or 9, sometimes later. It is what works for them. My ds has a melt down if he is not in bed by 7:30. Anyway we were invited over for dinner at 6 and at 7:15 the food was still cooking, so I thanked everyone and went ahead home. They are good friends so I am sure they understand, but I still feel rude and like one of those crazy moms that is not flexible at all. This happens often. I think everyone just knows that I will need to duck out by 7:15. Still, I feel like a stick in the mud when they are having fun and their kids are as happy as can be.
Tell me I am not alone.
Re: I feel like a rude stick in the mud re: early bed time
You're not alone. The same thing happens to us all the time, but not with our friends (there are two other couples with babies Clara's age in our circle of friends and we all turn into pumpkins at 7:00 these days)
My problem is with DH's family. ILs are pretty good but BILs and SILs do not get it. Their kids are all teenagers now, but when they were babies/toddlers, they all went to bed at (no joke) midnight or later, or whenever/where ever they fell down and passed out. So to them, I look "crazy" and inflexible when I say that Clara needs to be in bed (in her crib!) at 7:30. One SIL even told me I'm crazy and that she is going to stop asking me to do things because she doesn't agree with my routine with Clara. Oh well, I could care less.
All kids are different. Clara will run to her crib, grab her blankies, and say, "UP UP UP!" when she is tired. She knows when bedtime is and there is no fudging it!
What?! That sounds like you are harming Clara. At least nobody say that kind of crap to me (to my face anyway ha ha).
Not sure what you mean by "harming Clara"....like, it sounds like SIL thinks I'm doing damage to my child by having her on a routine?
This SIL has two teens who, as toddlers, ran wild through the house all night long and never slept in their beds. She told me (to my face) that I'm a loser and I need to get out more, I need to wake my baby up from a nap so I can go to the mall, blah blah blah. It was very unpleasant and ended with me telling her to leave (she came to my house out of the blue to tell me all of this!) Clara is a fantastic baby and a great sleeper, and I'm not about to sacrifice 12 straight months of STTN and excellent naps for a trip to the mall.
Yes, that is what I meant ? she spoke like she was morally opposed to your routine because it is harmful or something. What a peach. She doesn't sound like she would be a fun mall companion anyway. LOL
Scuzzle,
We have done the pnp before. It was not as bad as your experience, but still not ideal. I keep that as an option for special occasions, but for the most part it is more trouble than it is worth. I totally agree with what you are saying about your SIL.
if we're out past DS bedtime, we let him fall asleep where we are, then transport like usual.
I wouldn't have left the party, but jsut put DS down at their house. Maybe if you decide to do that you can carry along your pack n play.
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Ds is that way if he isn't IN THE BED by 8:00. That means we have to start our bedtime routine by 7:30 and no later. He's really not very flexible on this but I consider it a trade-off because he's a fantastic sleeper and has sttn since 3.5 months. If he needs a firm bedtime in order to make that work for him, then so be it.
I will say that I was leaving a restaurant on Friday at 9:30 and a couple walked in with a kid that had to be about 1 year old. I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that they were taking their kid out to eat that late and that the kid would be fine with it (although he seemed perfectly happy).