which child is normal???

Philippa

Ok so I took DS to a friends house for lunch and there was another 17 month old there too, as well as about 20 adults and 10 children. ?My question is, which 17 month old is normal??? ?Mine or the other one?? Please be honest.

My 17 month old: screamed, had tantrums when the food ran out, wouldn't let any except me hold him, ran around wreaking havoc opening cupboards and trying to get into everything.?

Other 17 month old: sat on her mom's knee quietly most of the time and was held by other people the rest of the time.

?I got home and felt like the most terrible mother in the world.?

?

Alexandra*sMom

BOTH ARE!  No two people are alike, no two babies or toddlers are alike either.  Both are in the realms of normal.  My DD2 would be like yours.

springtime81

Just two different personalities!  I went out to dinner with a group of people, and my friend brought her daughter who is a couple months older than my DS.  This little girl sat quietly at the table (no high chair) and didn't make a peep for over an hour.  I sat there absolutely incredulous, because if my DS had been there, he would have been all over the place and screeching if we tried to hold him back.  And he would have grabbed everything within reach and thrown it on the floor.  But, both kids are normal!

angluvsammon

Both. My DS is more like yours, though. I don't think his behavior is a reflection of your ability as a mother. And for me, I am glad my baby is outgoing, entergetic and curious. Try not to label his behavior as "bad v good" it's just different.

MrsDR1015

They're both completely normal! And don't feel bad, you're not the worst mother in the world. How do I know this? Because you're worried about it.

I'm sorry that you had this experience, but don't give up on playdates/lunches like this. It's good for him to get exposure to other people and to see, by example, what is acceptable behavior and what is not. I have no doubts that your parenting skills are excellent. Keep your chin up. : )

GinandTonic

I agree - both.  My son would have been like your friend's baby and my daughter is like yours...

JARbaby

Mine is okay if you talk to her and tell her why what she wants can't be so. She looks art me and says "Okay Mah-mom"

She is pretty well behaved if rested but when she is over stimulated she is a terror. Usually only at home though. She loves social stuff so she plays and talks to people and has fun. We don't allow running inside and she knows to not mess with cupboards.

livinitup

There is quite a wide range of "normal".  Both fall within.

livinitup

Oh, and my sister had twins ... and they couldn't have been more different. She was the same mom to both, obviously.  They were just different children.  It was amazing to see.  Still is. 

jen5-03

My DD could have been either of those, just depending on how comfortable she was feeling, how long her nap was... and just her mood for the day.

franciscaz

You know I go to church every week and in our church everyone has a baby.  I've been watching toddlers for years and I can easily say each has a very distinctive personality and can vary from day to day (like for example my 21 month niece sat next to us 3 weeks ago and kept gleefully yelling "Harmon Harmon Harmon" as loudly as one could imagine and jumping on her chair and than this week she sat quietly coloring. 

With that said one thing I've noticed and am trying to learn from the "Mommy Pros" in my congregations (those moms with 5 or more kids who magically keep it all together with all 5 in church sitting quietly for the entire hour) is that there are things you can do to prepare and teach your tot to keep them better keeled and balanced.  Setting expectations, keeping schedules religously, exposing them to noise, excitement, telling them before hand nicely what you expect and what good consequences will become of them, calmly reinforcing what you said before the event during the event and praising good positive behavior through out, not getting caught up talking etc w/adults but continually showing them attention and praising good behavior, calmly taking them into another room and sitting with them in "quiet time" when they are losing it in public and just chilling with them until they calm down... all really help!  I've been starting to use some of these methods and they are amazing.  It works!  Overstimulation especially is a problem and these methods have really helped.  The older Harm gets the harder it is b/c boy I'm learning that Tot personality is crazy and not easy (and I know it only gets harder) but this consistency thing is a really good thing and I believe for us at least it will make a difference. 

 HTH!  It helps me!!!!  But don't feel like a bad mom, your tot and thier tot are normal... just different.

AndysKandi

Both! You know adults with completely different personalities, right? Well of course it is the same with kids. Not to mention the different stages they are going through, and no two kids will go through exactly the same stages at exactly the same time. Maybe the other kid just finished a stage like that. Or maybe by this time next month, that other kid will be 10 times worse than yours. AND add in other influences, like having a good or bad night of sleep the previous night, feeling under the weather on a particular day, going through a growth spurt (therefore hungrier than normal and more inclined to throw a fit when food runs out, for example)...who knows. There are TONS of reasons why your DC acted so different from the other child. And none of it is bad, it is all normal variation.

Di&Roddy

Both are normal.  Don't worry about it.