Freaking Out - Waiting Advice

PSU-NCBride

So, we have been very lucky in how quickly our adoption process has worked so far. I'm not at all complaining about that, but I'm quite overwhelmed.

Today we got our first case. It ended up turning into four cases in one day. My heart is still racing and I am completely cried out from the emotion of reading so many heartbreaking stories and the reality that this could happen quickly.

We submitted our profile for one BM who will review on Friday and are waiting to make a decision on a second. The due dates are 2/15 and 3/10 respectively.

I'm just overwhelmed and have no clue how to be patient and not allow this to consume every minute of my waking hours. For those that are waiting or have gone through the matching process are there any magic secrets that I don't know about??

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jacksjerseygirl

Go have a spa day and a nice dinner :-)

BurkeJax

I am not there yet, but I vote for a glass of wine...Best of luck

Temp206787500007404

Our profile was looked at 3 times before we were chosen.  Our lawyer said her average is about 5 showings before a couple is picked.  It's really hard, but I just tried to focus on something else and not take it personally if we weren't picked.  (((HUGS)))

nisems

PSU-NCBride:

I'm just overwhelmed and have no clue how to be patient and not allow this to consume every minute of my waking hours.

when you get this figured out definitely let me know - I'm not waiting yet, but I'm kind of obsessive that way about every step in the process!  Do you have any hobbies that you could keep yourself entertained with?  Swap this obsession for another one?  Or, pp had great suggestions - wine works!! Best of luck to you!   

Capricornbaby80

I am not a good one to give advice about waiting, but please tell me your routine, so maybe I won't drive myself crazy . Good luck to you.

PSU-NCBride

Thanks everyone. We went the wine route last night which worked well. I'm a presenter at a conference today so that should keep me occupied for quite a while.?

MrsB2007 - since you have just gone through this and your BM was pretty close to delivery, how long did she take to make a decision? This BM is looking at profiles Friday AM. She's due 2/15 but is really young so she could go into labor at anytime I would think. We were told she could make a decision Friday AM but she could take longer.?

Also, did you guys have any trouble figuring out how to submit for multiple cases at once? I thought you guys had done that, but I could be wrong. I know that if we submit 10 at once, the first one that chooses us is the one we go with. It's not like we choose. It is a bit of a guessing game for us because obviously there are some cases that are a better fit than others for us and we wouldn't want to jeopardize those. ?I know that is what is meant to be will be, though, so I've struggled with that.

Temp206787500007404

Hey lady -- our BM's initial meeting was on Friday and then she wanted to see our profile and one other on Saturday and we got the call LATE Saturday night.

For some of the others, they had an initial meeting and picked 2-3 couples and then started scheduling meetings.  They both didn't meet with all of us, they met the first couple, liked them okay, and picked them and didnt' even bother with the others.  I've heard of BM's wanting to meet every couple they liked though.  So it could go any number of ways, unless your agency has a protocol!

Fortunately, we're doing independent private adoption -- our profile is on a website that our lawyer shows to BM's and she also has it in paper for BM's who don't have internet access that she meets with.  So we haven't really had an issue with submitting for multiple situations -- she just asks if we're interested, we say yes or no, and she shows it to as many BM's as we want.  All of the situations we've been in, a decision has been made within 48 hours.  So you're not tormented for too long.  Hang in there!

PSU-NCBride

Thank you! At least we are having my crazy game night party Saturday night. I figure now it will either be 1) a real celebration! 2) a good way to get cheered up if we aren't chosen or 3) a way to distract me.?

BM wants no phone calls or contact so I'm guessing it will go quickly if there are no interviews involved. Thanks for the insight and good luck with these next few days! You must be so excited.?

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kirstenw05

nothing else to add here, just wanted to say good luck, and best wishes for a SPEEDY, meant-to-be placement!