1st Trimester

WWYD about telling family

DH and I live out of town from his family. We're planning on going back there sometime soon to visit (and hopefully tell his large extended family that we're pg). There is a family get together the weekend before our first trimester will be over. So I'll be 12 weeks, 3 days pg then. We were really hoping to be able to tell the family in person so the get together is a great opportunity. And it's not a party for anyone so it's not like we'd be stealing anyone's thunder by saying anything. It's just a regular get together that they do.

So, would you go that weekend and tell everyone then, even though it's a week before the end of first tri? Or would you just go later in the month knowing that you wouldn't be able to tell everyone in person? In that case, we'd probably just visit DH's grandma and tell her and she'll probably tell everyone else. I think it would be too hard to get everyone together just a week or two after this party, especially since it would require DH's parents to host everyone and I wouldn't want to put that on them.

I'm really torn because we are pretty close with DH's family and it would be nice to be able to tell them in person that we're pg, especially since we live out of town now. But, I was also hoping to wait until after first tri was over. I know it's close so I don't know if I'm just being a superstitious weirdo. lol

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Re: WWYD about telling family

  • My family lives out of town as well.  We are going to tell them before for 1st tri is over (about 10 weeks).  Go ahead and tell them.  

  • Wow, well that's really up to you and your DH. ?As for me, I'm going to tell our families as soon as we hear a heartbeat. ?I think your being a little?obsessive?about the whole thing, but that's just me.
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  • We went through the same dilemma back in November.  Keep in mind we've also had 2 m/cs this year as well.  But before we left I went to the OB and she ran my betas they were outstandingly good.  So we went ahead and spilled the beans. 

    It was a good call.  We did it because we felt really confident about this pg.  But we also knew if it didn't work out they would be there for us.

    His family needed some good news because his Uncle (the youngest of 4) had just passed away.  They were overjoyed for us.

    PS: I love that you say you're from "Oz"-LUVSIT!

  • You should do whatever you feel comfortable with. ?We told my parents 5 days after my BFP and my entire extended family and several friends knew before I was through 1st tri. ?DH chose to wait to tell his family until we were through 1st tri. ?It's a completely personal decision and everyone has different reasons for the choices they make.
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  • Thanks for the comments. I feel like I've posted about this so much but my concern was that I've had a subchorionic hematoma so I've been bleeding/spotting for 3 weeks now. So I guess that's why I wanted to wait until we were through first tri. But, our parents have known for a long time and we already told siblings and a few close friends. It's just the extended family that we're debating when to tell. We'll probably just go the party weekend and tell then. I know it's a personal choice but I was just wondering what you all would be comfortable with.
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  • I say tell them. The best advice we got was from my aunt who said "You are pregnant, this is your baby, and even if something (God forbid) happens during this pregnancy... it still was your first pregnancy. So enjoy it."
  • We've already announced it to our families.  I couldn't think of a reason not to.  Both DH and I have very open and close families who we would tell if something unfortunate happened anyway.  I want the support of my family either way so I didn't see a downside.  I would tell them and not worry about hosting another event in 2 weeks. 
  • imagehijoi:
    I say tell them when you're all together.  We told my family on T-giving (8 weeks) and the extended family on Christmas (12 weeks).  We waited until after the first tri to tell friends.  Have you thought of how you're going to tell them all?

    No clue how we're going to tell them. I'm not that creative. However, if this bloat continues, I will look much farther along than I am. lol

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  • I would def. tell them.
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  • I would go ahead and tell them, especially if you've already had an appt. and heard and/or seen the heartbeat.  Once you verify a healthy heartbeat the chance of m/c decreases dramatically.  GL!
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  • I totally understand your hesitation given your past experience.  But, they'll be there for you no matter what, so it sounds like a great opportunity.  DH and I have our first doctors visit with our first u/s this Friday and we are planning on telling our parents after that, whether we see/hear the heartbeat.  It's our first and I have been dying to tell someone!  We've known for a week and have kept quiet so far.  Hopefully this week will pass by quicky.  Good luck with your decision to tell your extended family...I know they'll be thrilled for y'all!
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