How do you handle baby showers?

Angie&Junichi

A friend of my is sending me an invite to her shower for next month.  I would have been 3 weeks behind her.  I don't think I can bring myself to go, but really want to go.  She said she uderstands if I can't come.  Would you go?  If so, how do you handle the emotions?

mrsfarmer0711

I had to go to my cousin's shower last month. I put on a brave face and spent a lot of time in the kitchen with the food. I held it together well, but when I got home I cried my eyes out for the rest of the night. I wish I had just sent her gift and said I was sick....

Stellar1

You should do what makes you comfortable. After I had the m/c back in March I had two baby showers within weeks of it and there was no way I could have gone. Of the girls knew what had happened, the other one didn't and I just told her I was sick.

Irishsapphire

I happen to just love baby shopping in general. ?So any opportunity I would get would just be a chance to be there for another friend. ?I actually had a niece that was born a couple of months after my miscarriage. ?

?If you do decide to go to the shower, I would only recommend if you do go baby shopping--just shop from your friend's baby registry---baby girl and baby boy clothes brought a little more emotions--because as much as I wanted to say that I was shopping for someone else's baby--the truth is that I was actually shopping for my own baby--and the clothes that I liked were clothes that I would put on my own child.?

?I think a friend sometimes just appreciates the effort of someone just trying to show up. ?And a good friend will understand if you need to leave early. ?I do think it is polite if you are not able to attend the shower, try to find a time that you can just visit one on one personally and take a nice gift from her registry. ??

mybobble

My sil's shower was in October. I just couldn't bring myself to go after having just dealt w/ another failed i/f treatment. I actually listed to my feelings and stayed home. I knew I wouldn't be able to put on a fake happy face and be around all of that baby stuff for a couple of hrs.

Even though my mil called me selfish and inconsiderate I still stayed home. I needed to do what was right for ME. While I wish I was there for my sil I couldn't do it. Thankfully she knows about my i/f and ectopic history and was very understanding.

Do what is right for YOU!

esquiremomma

I agree with PPs on this one - it is really personal and depends on where you are in your grieving process. I haven't been to one since the m/c but will have some coming up this spring. If you decide to go, have a drink before you leave the house and then have one once you get there (hopefully it is not a 'dry' shower

superaunt

Between baby showers and other get togethers with babies and parents and parents-to-be, it hasn't been easy but some way some how, I push through it.  I grin and bear it and if I find myself about to lose it, I just excuse myself and go the bathroom for a while.  And then I usually lose it on the way home or something.