What's your opinion/experience with Ferber Method?

madison

My 8 month old has still never slept through the night, and it's totally my fault. I let him nurse and cosleep, so now that's all he wants to do at night. He certainly doesn't need to eat at night, but I bf him because it's easy and puts him right to sleep. So I'm starting "Operation Get Kids to Sleep in Own Beds." I'm off work Thursday through Monday, so it seems like a good time.

Posters keep mentioning Ferber, but it scares me a little. I know I need to get tough, but I can't stand hearing my little guy cry. Plus, I think I'm really going to miss snuggling with him at night. To top it off, he's had some serious health issues and gone through 3 big surgeries, so I think it's extra hard for me to hear him crying "unnecessarily" ... which probably means I "baby him" too much.

 Sorry so long. What are your thoughts/experiences with Ferber?

rlthomas7

Good experience, but you need to get the book from the library and at least skim it before trying it. You need to understand the WHY behind the method when the screaming reaches the end of the first hour and you're ready to crack.

Mrs.Donkey

I could dry hump Dr. Ferber.  I am a new woman.  I am sleeping.  My child is sleeping.  I'm a believer.

 Honestly, it wasn't nearly as traumatic for either of us as I was expecting.  He never really cried that much.  Just fussed for a little bit.  The most crying was maybe 5 minutes at one stretch.  That's it.  I say try it.  It's really far more mild than you are probably thinking. And definitely read the book.  GL with it. Sleep is a magical thing.  You should get more.

Marie Tourville

Before you do anything I urge you to get the book.  Please read it before you just jump into it.

joecubed

OMG, I snorted aloud at "dry hump", Donkey.  And I share an office.  With a man.  So I can't tell him why I snorted without risking a sexual harrassment lawsuit.

Read Ferber.  We had a good experience.  I would suggest getting your LO sleeping in the crib before you do all out Ferber.  It seems a bit cruel to me to go from snuggling in bed with mommy and nursing, to all alone in a room crying.  Maybe start by putting him asleep in his crib, and then going in to nurse him when he wakes.  Then do the spacing of feedings as Dr. Ferber suggests in the book.  And THEN do Ferber's progressive waiting approach.  It will take awhile, but it will be less traumatic for the LO.  We broke things into stages as well b/c we coslept and nursed a lot.  GL!

ebb7

My baby also has some major health issues and even people like her pediatrician were trying to tell me that sleep training wouldn't help. But, after 5 months of her waking up literally every 20 minutes all night long, I figured it was worth a shot. We did Ferber as a last resort (tried No-Cry Sleep Solution first and it did nothing). Honestly, by night 2 she was sleeping through the night. She cried a lot less with Ferber than she did when she was waking up every 20 minutes. It's such a sanity saver too to just be able to put her down at night now and not see her again until the morning. I really thought I would always be anti-CIO, but when you read the book you understand that teaching your baby how to fall asleep is such a gift.

MNheidi

There's different levels of "Ferber."  We let our boys cry for about 10 minutes; by then I know what their cry is for and actually, sometimes at naptime, they're not tired.  I wouldn't let a kid cry for more than 30 min; that said, I have 2 good sleepers and really haven't had to "train."

If you are co-sleeping, I'm not sure Ferberizing will work.  If you want to put him in his own bed, I think that should be step one and then work on the Ferber thing a few night off.  Doing both at the same time seems harsh.

franciscaz

I read the book when Harmon was 3 months and started incorporating the "routine" part of it right away.  I didn't incorporate the self soothing and CIO until much later, OF COURSE!  But b/c of the routines etc that we set up in the beginning I've really never had to use the CIO aspect all that often.  I highly recomend it if you are willing to do the entire thing.  Do not skip steps or just half butt it.  CIO just for the sake of CIO is stupid and can be a little cruel, but Ferber done right has been a great thing in our home.

nosoup4u

My opinion is  that it's not for our family (and yes, I have read the book). Some other options are the book "The No-Cry Sleep Soution" and Dr. Jay Gordon's ideas on weaning co-sleepers from night weaning here:

https://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

askmoxie.org is a really good blog that has good advice about all things baby (and sleep) related:

https://www.askmoxie.org/2006/06/babies_and_cio.html

I agree with Donkey - read the book and go from there. But there are other options out there besides only using Ferber. hth!

Luckystar2

haha i love ferber too!

We had wonderful success. DD wouldnt sleep in her crib after numerous attempts and different methods (she used to be a swing sleeper). 

I would try the crib first and see how things go.  If you cant get it to work with other ways then Id consider Ferber.  And definitely read the book.

7/04Bride

Ferber is GREAT, but DEFINITELY read the book before starting.

KKCG

Did wonders for us...DD is sleeping & eating 100% better!

CleoKitty

nosoup4u:

My opinion is? that it's not for our family (and yes, I have read the book). Some other options are the book "The No-Cry Sleep Soution" and Dr. Jay Gordon's ideas on weaning co-sleepers from night weaning here:

https://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

askmoxie.org is a really good blog that has good advice about all things baby (and sleep) related:

https://www.askmoxie.org/2006/06/babies_and_cio.html

I agree with Donkey - read the book and go from there. But there are other options out there besides only using Ferber. hth!

Ditto on all of this- I've read the book and decided that it's just not the right technique for our family. ?I also second the Dr. Jay Gordon info and Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution." If you're hesitant about CIO they might be good alternative resources to Ferber. I'm not fervently anti-CIO in all cases, it just isn't something I'm comfortable with for my children and I suspect that I might feel that way even more so if my child had experienced some traumatic medical issues in infancy.?

Good luck!?