First Breakdown...

LyndsayQ

I only have 1 work week or rather 11 "regular" days left b/f I return to work full-time.  While rocking DD to sleep tonight it hit me and I began to cry.  Please note, I don't cry easily.  And as I'm typing this, I'm crying again. 

I can't stand that I have to leave her day after day for 9 hours plus.  I can't stand that someone else, albeit someone who is very nice and trustworthy, will be "raising" my child for 40 plus hours/week.  I never thought I would be a SAHM type, but I guess I am and I'm now regretting some of the financial decisions DH and I made over the years.  We bought a bigger house, bought new cars, etc.  I wish I could go back and change a lot so financially I could stay home. Despite all the times she is driving me nuts w/ her refusal to nap and her fussiness, I love her and want to be w/ her every second...and I always thought my friends who acted like that w/ their babies were crazy.  Guess I'm getting a dose of my own medicine. 

I just had to get that out.  I'm not one to call friends or family to cry to them, I always appear stronger than I am.  Thanks for listening.  

 

*sallymad*

You sound just like me. I never cry. But knowing that I have to go back to work is killing me. I was never the type to want to stay home. I love my job, but now I can't stop thinking about that I have to go back to work and leave her. DAMN these "feelings" LOL

JARbaby

You will soon see, while hard all the benefits of having daycare and how it is the best of both worlds and at the end of the day YOU are always Mommy and the one true rock star in your kids eyes!

102503Natalie

Aww, Lyndsay, I totally understand what you're going through.  It IS so hard to leave your LO at home or at a daycare center and be away for so darn long.  Just like you, living on one salary is not an option as we bought a bigger house and a new car.  I, too, wish I could go back in time sometimes and make better financial decisions that would allow me to stay at home or only work part-time.  I will say that once you start back it does get a little easier over time, but it's never the same.  DD is constantly on my mind, and I find myself looking at pictures/videos of her during the day when I should be working.

ohwhattheheck

aw, don't worry.  it is hard at first but then it gets better.  I understand, I work at least 9 hours a day so I'm away from her for at least 10 hours.

jaejaevee

I am having the same issues.  I have 3 more weeks.  I am excited to go back to work, but sad to be leaving DS for 8 hours a day.  I am going to try to keep what JAR said in mind between now and then.

butterbrickle

I totally get what you are feeling. It is so hard to think about going back to work and leaving her for so long each day.

littleittybitty

Hugs Lyndsay! You and I both are going through this!

email me anytime!!

LyndsayQ

Thanks everyone for all your support and encouraging words.  I know it's something I have to do and it will get easier each day (I hope), and I appreciate you all listening and letting me "cry" on your shoulders. 

Mrs.BLG

While it is hard to leave your LO, I find that some day (not every day) it is nice to go to work just for a break from the daily routine of staying at home.

Also, the time you spend away from your LO also makes the time you spend with them when you get home even more valuable. You also appreciate the weekends and any days off even more!

JillStar

I completely relate to how you feel...I could have written your post except I went back to work 4 weeks ago. Even though I like my job and enjoy interacting with my coworkers, I would stay home with DD in a second if we could afford it. Sorry I have nothing helpful to add, but just wanted to tell you I understand.

Nidubb

I so undertand how you feel.  My DH lost his job so, although I had not planned on not working it truly is not an option.  Someone has got to work!   Hopefully, he will find something, but it is not easy.