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KathrynMD
member
it bothers me that so many women are killing themselves to BF
KathrynMD
member
breast is best, but formula isn't poison either. if you are spending more time pumping than holding your baby its too much - give yourself a break.
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Re: it bothers me that so many women are killing themselves to BF
Where the hell did this come from?
Um I hold my baby a ton because I am breastfeeding. Do you mean killing themselves to EP?
Do you breastfeed?
While I'm inclined to agree with your statement I will also tell you that unless you have been in those women's shoes, it is very difficult to pass judgement. I just stopped breastfeeding and pumping and it was hard. I am still diasspointed over it and kicking myself for having stopped.
So please, unless you have been through it, save the judgement.
I'm holding my BFing DS right now. So I agree. I think you mean to EP.
Exactly. And FWIW you never see a formula can that says "better than breastmilk". So people who choose to give their children the real thing shouldn't be told to stop.
I am struggling to BF this time and WILL NOT stop because it is hard work.
I am pumping and BFing and hold DD plenty. I feel the hours of hard work benefit my child far better than holding her more than I already do.
And a skilled BFer can have a baby in their lap and Double pump/Bf on one side/pump on the other. JUST SAYIN'
If I give up before 6 week I feel I have not given it or DD a shot at it.
I think it's a beautiful thing that they're trying SO hard.
EP'ers have my respect. I can't imagine the time and effort it takes!
I believe that BF is best and truly important and I planned on EBF, Which would have included pumping at work. I had to change my plans due to complications with my pregnancy and after birth with clampsi and medication I was put on. I tried the dump and pump but I was spending so much time feeding the baby a formula bottle then trying to pump, that I was not sleeping and finally said we would just FF so I could get better. One of the pills I was on was a water pill and it dried me up within 4 days after I stopped pumping and dumping.
At first I was beating myself up for not EBF since I knew it was best, but now I see that DS is fine and doing absolutely wonderful on his Formula. Very rarely he spits up and I noticed that my SIL who had her DD a month after I had DS is EBF is so frustrated and exhausted DD is eating every 2 1/2 to 3 Hrs and she spoke to her Dr and the Dr. things she is not producing enough and that is why her DD is nursing so much. When I see my SIL she is so exhausted that the only time she is holding her DD is when she is feeding her, she hands her off to BIL so she can rest.
I think each Woman has the right to decide what to do with DC, and I was deadset on EBF but since I was forced to supplement and then EFF I see that Formula is great too.
You have no idea so why don't your reserve your judgement for when you actually have experience. Oh wait, but you won't because you don't think it's worth the struggle.
You don't just give up when things get hard.
(sneaking over from another board).....
I see what you're saying but I don't think you worded it quite right.
No, formula ISN'T poison (my daughter is proof!) and I can tell you that I went through BF'ing and then EP'ing hell until she was 3 months old. The breaking point for me when one morning when I was trying (totally in vain) to pump ANYTHING out of my breasts for her while she lay on the couch beside me, screaming and hungry. It was heartbreaking and it made me feel awful. We went straight to formula feeding after that day and both of us were so much happier.
You're right, I needed to give myself a break and to stop being so hard on myself for not being successful at breastfeeding. I tried really, really hard for 3 months and it just wasn't working. Low supply + slow letdown + super-hungry baby was a bad combination. In my case, I was spending more time pumping than actually holding my daughter some days and that just wasn't going to work for us.
I pump ALOT...that doesnt mean that i dont hold my dd enough! I know that formula isnt poison..i supplement my dd with formula. I think it is our own business if we want to pump like crazy to give our LO's breastmilk. It is very frustrating when your own body cant produce enough milk to feed your child....so i do whatever it takes to try.....
EFF YOU! I EBF for 5.5 months, at which time my baby had open-heart surgery and then developed a temporary condition in which my BM (or anything else with fat in it) would literally SUFFOCATE her. I've exclusively pumped for 5 weeks and am SOOOO glad I did because whether or not I can get her actually BACK to the breast, she'll be having my milk until she's 1 year old- if she'll nurse again, I'm going to be one of those mothers that weans to send her daughter off to kindergarten because I miss it SO much.
I give MAJOR kudos to you ladies who have EP'd for months, because it's SO hard and SO worth it.
I was one of those struggling ep'ers in the begining. I am SO happy I kept at it and got so much support here and elsewhere. DD BF now & for that I'm grateful. Yes, I feel sorry for those that "kill themselves" but I try to offer encouragement rather than being snarky about it.
Just like anything else in life....there are people that "kill themselves" (or as I would put it just going through a rough time) getting through college or training for a marathon. I'm sure when they are done and sucessful they are glad they did it.
So think about it next time before you post something so ignorant.
*this is NOT meant to frown upon FF or those that were unsucessful BF or EPing.
It is an emotional thing that some people go through and think it's worth it. I know formula isn't poison and I supplement with it as well. You just need to think of a better way of wording your posts.
So true. I don't think ppl realized what you meant by "killing themselves" you were referring to those with breastfeeding DIFFICULTIES! There is way too much pressure to do it anyway, no matter what it takes! For those with supply issues like me that are REAL even if b!tches on her think they're bs, pumping to give my ds breastmilk does often take time away from him. So I am a total victim of this pressure. And dumba$$es, she was including pumping in the pressure to breasfeed, meaning provide breastmilk even if it makes you nuts! And btw some of us pumpers think of ourselves as nursing moms even if you don't!
Okay, I don't think that the original post is, well shall we say, well thought out, but I think I might know what the OP was trying to say. We have posts like this, and then we have posts containing things like, "it's not okay to quit" (paraphrasing Hippy's response). It IS okay to quit. If you're planning to BF, you should educate yourself on exactly how much of a commitment it's going to be, how much time and effort is involved. You should know that it's not going to be easy, even in the best situation, and you should be prepared for that.
That said, if you have consulted with LC's, have tried the different remedies, have great support from your DH and family and it's not working and you and your baby are miserable, looking into supplementing and/or FFing ISN"T WRONG OR BAD. Every mother has to make these decisions for herself and her baby and shouldn't be made to feel like shiit for doing what she feels is right.
Lots of defensiveness in this post! I don't think it warranted an "EFF YOU" either.
I think her point is happy mom = happy baby. Don't put youself through the ringer if BFing isn't for you. Formula can be ok too. I didn't see the OP being judgemental at all.
J2 11.17.08
Is this for real? Are you saying that I'm giving up time holding my daughter because I'm bfing? Obviously, you mean EPing because otherwise this doesn't even make sense. You can't hold a baby any closer than while breastfeeding.
EP'rs have my respect and they've earned it.
Why anyone would belittle that, I have no idea.
Moonbeams, your LO is beyond cute.
My silly Lily is almost 4.
Exactly-Kathryn, why don't you give kudos for all the effort, time, and work women give to providing BM to their children instead of trying to put them down by accusing them of not holding their babies enough? Formula is not bad for babies but I have yet to know a women to say "Wow, I should have given up BF earlier." All the women I know wish they have tried longer. Stop putting ppl down.
I bow down to you for being in my mind!!! Esp the last sentence.
Hmmm. Touchy subject.
But I see where I *think* she was coming from. She did say "those that are killing themselves"...much different than saying successful breastfeeding moms shouldn't be BF.
I killed myself trying to pump. My milk just never came in. I got blisters, it was soo painful, I lost lots and lots of sleep, tried EVERYTHING (reglan, oatmeal, fenugreek, dark beer...), pumped ever two hours, got two wonderful cases of mastitis...all for 3 measly bottles a day. It was torture and added a ton of stress to an already stressful situation.
Stopping at 3 months was the best decision I made for my family.
I soooo wish I could have BF like a lot of women...sometimes it's not in the cards for some.
So I see where she's coming from. She's referring to EPers. But as an EPer I could pump hands free and hold DD at the same time.
Should have worded it a biiiiiiiiit differently.
I did this! It actually helped me pump more!
Malakai - 8.3.09
Ezra - 12.1.11 ASD
I have to proudly say that i just finish EP up a week ago after DS hit 1 yr mark. I was glad that i did it that long and it was hard work on my part. There were times when i have to supplement because i didn't have enough, but that didn't make want to stop. I pumped about 5x/day and i don't think i spent much time pumping than holding my baby because he's very attached to me. Plus while i pump, i Dh can bond with DS.