November 2024 Moms

Mom just diagnosed with cancer, when to tell her about baby

Hey friends! I am in need of some advice. My mom was just diagnosed with cancer. Testing hasn’t been completed yet, we’re not even sure what type of cancer but it was found in her lymph nodes. More will be revealed in the coming week or two. I also just found out a week ago that we’re expecting! I’m so excited & want to acknowledge the miracle growing inside of me, but also want to respect & consider my mom in all of this. This is my first pregnancy and my first close encounter with cancer like this. We planned to tell my husband’s family in 3 weeks as they’re coming to visit us for Easter (plans were made before we even found out!). My mom doesn’t live nearby me, I don’t know whether to wait and tell her later on after she has time to process her diagnosis? Or to tell her now and pray it gives her hope to want to push and be strong. 

Answers

  • mitchipmitchip member
    I don't know what your relationship with your parents is like, but I lost both of mine to different cancers in the last 5 years while we were going through fertility treatments. 
    I know that every transfer and treatment we had perked my parents up and made them very happy during a difficult time. 
  • mitchipmitchip member
    I'm so sorry your family is going through this. Lean on each other and hug each other as much as possible. 
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  • Thank you so much! I appreciate your advice, this gives me hope for how my mom will react. So sorry you’ve lost both your parents, praying over your family. 
  • I don’t have any experience with it. But you could feel her out about it. Ask how she wants to be treated at this time and what types of updates she wants about your life right now. To be treated as incompetent and fragile without having a choice to decide what you can handle would be frustrating. 

    Baby news usually perks people up so you probably have nothing but excitement ahead, just be understanding if her feelings are mixed. 
  • I would tell them. It will give them strength and inspiration to fight another day. 
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