Heterotopic Pregnancy - 6 weeks

knottie6650924a9cb92839

This is my very first pregnancy. Found out today that there are multiple gestational sacs stuck in my right fallopian tube in which one in particular has a heartbeat and all, same size as baby growing in uterus. Super scared to have surgery to remove baby stuck in tube and or that it will rupture and harm baby in uterus and or me before we get to surgery. Have appointment tomorrow to confirm what type of surgery will be needed (whether removing just baby and other sacs or entire ovary and tube). Honestly have been mourning all day the fact I had twins (two viable pregnancies at once, just located in different homes) and now have to prepare to remove the one so the other can survive. Any similar stories or mamas who can just relate to a loss or have positive advice would be so appreciated right now as I’m not okay💔

00kim00

I'm so sorry. I think for one thing, I wouldn't think about it as "two viable pregnancies". Yes, you're pregnant with twins and one isn't going to make it, which is a tragedy. Absolutely mourn the loss of that child, but also know that he or she wasn't viable, there's no way that child could be born alive. I haven't had your experience, but I did have one ectopic pregnancy, which was heart wrenching, and later had a twin pregnancy where I lost one very early on.

I'm not sure I have positive advice. The loss of a child, even before birth, is tragic. It's okay and right to grieve. Get counseling if you need it. I honestly felt guilty for years after my ectopic. It complicated things for me in that it wasn't a totally natural, intervention-free loss. Even though there's zero chance of that child ever being born, having to take medication to stop the growth before it ruptured or surgery to remove the tube made me feel like it was my fault. I logically know I didn't have any choice that would save the baby, my only choice was to die with her or not, but it still hurt my heart. It's extremely common for any woman who has a miscarriage to question if it was because of something she did (even though it nearly always is not), and ectopic can make that feeling worse. So I say to you it is not your fault, and whatever you do to save your life and the life of the child in your womb is not anything that makes the difference between life and death for the child in your tube.

You may find it comforting to do something to honor that child. Some people get a tattoo. With my ectopic, I gave her a name and have a piece of jewelry I always wear with what would've been her birthstone, the size she was when I lost her. For my twin, he also has a name and he was an IVF baby so I have a picture as an embryo..