Weekly Randoms w/o 3.21

abjm0325

acleverusername

@abjm0325 thanks for starting all of the threads!!! 

abjm0325

@acleverusername Since I took most of last week off, I figured it was the least I can do! Still don't know how to GIF from my computer though. 

mambo5-2

I am very glad that St. Patrick's Day and the Full Moon are over and the other ER case manager is back this week. Mambo not equipped for that crazy. 

anniemarie887

@abjm0325 thanks for starting.

i am currently in such a state of exhaustions after lots of really good friend time this weekend. i also am sleeping like utter garbage and i think it's really taking its toll. any tips re sleep? i limit my caffeine, i don't drink unless social settings, but i am waking up 2-3x a night. i don't want to be just like popping advil pm all over the place and truthfully am not sure if melatonin is ttc ok?!

abjm0325

@anniemarie887 Do you have a consistent nighttime routine? I find that sticking to my routine (or not) makes a big difference in how I sleep. My routine includes both time markers (head upstairs at 9:00, lights out by 10:15) and ordered activities (pills, teeth brushing, bath, reading in bed). 

anniemarie887

@abjm0325 ehhh it could def be better. i usually go lay in bed for a good hour scrolling/reading, then vitamins, teeth brushing, often a nighttime shower to try and relax, and then bed with my eyemask. the waking up in the motn is what's really killing me. or so i think.

abjm0325

@anniemarie887 Yeah, waking up multiple times a night is not fun. I seem to do that fairly regularly in the TWW, so maybe it's partially hormone related? I wish I had better help for you as good sleep is so necessary! 

Paturkey

@anniemarie887 How about a routine for the waking? I have that problem sometimes and I have rules for myself. For example, as much as I want to, I don't need to know the time so no checking the clock/phone. I also keep a mental list of ruminating topics that are chill, like imagining how I would design a dream garden or paint the rooms in the house. I think the fantasy aspect keeps me from getting my brain too engaged. If that doesn't work it's counting backwards from 1000 or focus on breathing and the parts of your body. I hope it gets better for you

ReadyForaB

@anniemarie887 YES! What @abjm0325 said.  If I sway from my nighttime routine at all, I sleep like trash.  I start heading up around 9:00ish, wash my face, put on night cream, teeth and get into bed.  I read a chapter of a book and lights out.  If I look at my phone at all, forget it. 

The only exception is if I am still having a really hard time sleeping after reading, which rarely happens.  In that case, I watch a YouTube channel called "restful rambles" on my phone.  It's like personal attention ASMR.  It sounds weird but it is so relaxing to me haha!

What does not help at all is that my husband is a complete night owl.  We have been together for 16 years and he has been like this always.  He is a bartender so works late.  He will stay up until 4am and sleep until noon.  So when he comes up, I can usually sleep through it but not on nights I don't keep a good wind down routine. 

maggiemadeit

@anniemarie887 I believe melatonin is TTC safe. It’s one of the recommended supplements in that books It Starts With The Egg. So maybe it can help you sleep and also improve egg quality? 

acleverusername

@anniemarie887 I have the same issues and my psychiatrist recommended trying Luna. It's a mix of herbals that will help you "stay drowsy" if you wake up during the night. It's been working well so far for me, and they have a version with and without melatonin (I take the one with melatonin b/c of IVF). 

@maggiemadeit has it right that melatonin is TTC safe but only when undergoing IVF. It lowers FSH and can disrupt your cycle if you're TTCing naturally.

For IVF, it help get rid of free radicals in the body, leading to better egg quality. @keikilove also posted at some point in the last 2 months that there's now evidence that in case help in transfer cycles as well, which is why I'm taking Luna w/ melatonin. 

I'll plus one the "good sleep routine" (something I've been trash at lately) and continuing to do all the healthy things you're already doing. 

ETA: good article, but take it with a grain of salt since fertility clinics to have a really high bar when it comes to research and tend to discount anything that's not double blind, high sample size, proven twice over. Many REs do actually recommend melatonin in IVF. Many REs don't recommend ANY supplements saying that it's a waste of money, so you gotta pick and choose. 

maggiemadeit

@acleverusername Thanks for the additional context. You explained it better than the book! 

anniemarie887

@Paturkey i def do not get up, i do check the time, but try and do as little as possible. if i am struggling to fall back asleep i will do a sleep meditation to help. 
@readyforab def not weird! i'm sure it's in the same vein as some of my sleep meditations, some are about breathing or sequencing through your body, and then just have 5-10 min of ambient music. it generally does the trick!
@maggiemadeit thank you for sharing that, dr google was confusing me when i started looked
@acleverusername ooooh ok, so no melatonin for me! thanks for the rec on Luna tho

i did try a unisom last night, remembering that it is pregnancy safe... needless to say i still woke up 3x. so not an instant fix. one thing that i have not done since dec is see my acupuncturist, so i just made an appointment to see her friday. there has been a lot going on re stress, miscarriages, shit sleep - so i'm hoping she can right my system. i do 100000000% swear by acupuncture for many things.

eta: spelling as usual

bearmomma1

You guys have some really awesome nighttime routines!! I'm embarrassed to say that once we clean up the kitchen and get things situated, we veg on the couch watching TV/staring at our phones. Then we stumble off to bed around 10-11pm. No wonder we're so groggy in the mornings...

Paturkey

@bearmomma1 +1 to vegging on the couch and going off to bed late. My routine is terrible.

acleverusername

Dare I hope that The Great Peggapolyse of March 2022 has ended? 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

anniemarie887

🤞🏼One can hope @acleverusername

kiki047

@bearmomma1 +2 to the clean-up > couch evening routine. Lately MH has been wanting to watch an hour of tv first then do the dishes, which usually results in me refusing to go to bed at 11pm until the kitchen is clean and him being grumpy. We need a better routine. 

@anniemarie887 I think @acleverusername covered anything I had to say about melatonin (bravo!) but I think diphenhydramine (the active ingredient in Benadryl and sleep aids) is also TTC-safe because it's often used in antihistamine protocols. That said, it's not recommended for long-term use so I'd personally take melatonin over that. Look into 5-HTP, it comes from L-tryptophan and is related to the production of serotonin in the brain, which then stimulates melatonin production (which is naturally occurring in the body so it's not like you're supplementing with a pill). 

bearmomma1

@kiki047 oh yes, I’m all too familiar with the “I’ll do it later” remark from my H, which results to a bunch of soaking dishes that I have to finish in the morning  

acleverusername

Well that’s novel!

optimistgardener

Amazing!

abjm0325

I haven't been in the headspace to be a good contributor the last couple days, but just coming here to WTF to some people who will understand.

TW: MC, someone else's pregnancy

Today is my 10th wedding anniversary. It also was the EDD for the baby we lost in August. I have been having a lot of complicated feelings leading up to this day. Then my BIL and SIL (who know it's our anniversary and about our loss) decided to share on our family group text today that they're pregnant. For the 2 under 2 club. I am hurt and upset and trying not to be hurt and upset but mostly angry that they have ruined my anniversary for me. I know they didn't intend to be mean, but I am finding it hard to be happy for them. As always, thanks for listening.

firecracker_mama

@abjm0325 I'm so sorry for your loss and for the crappy timing of finding out about your bil/sil baby

 

anniemarie887

@abjm0325 hugs, that’s really hard. 

bearmomma1

@abjm0325 ugh I’m sorry and completely know how you feel. 

TW: mc/pregnancy/infant loss 

My BiL told us they were pregnant with #3 while I was actually miscarrying and had covid in January. We were pregnant at the same time with #2 in 2020, and they got to keep their #2 while ours passed away. I still haven’t been able to see them and don’t plan to anytime soon. It’s so hard to feel happy for someone when you’re hurting so much at the same time. Don’t feel guilty for feeling your feelings. And your il’s should give you space to process everything. And they definitely should’ve picked a better time to share.