teen mom advice

daisyyyy

Hey, 6w teen mom here. I don’t really have any idea as to what I am doing or as to what a pregnancy should be like, and am wondering what’s some of the best advice you could give to a new young mom? Struggling a lot with the social aspect of anyone finding out and disapproving outside of my family and the baby’s dad, and unsure of what things I should know before having a kid since there isn’t anyone besides my mom to go to for advice. Anything is greatly appreciated

merostomata

@daisyyyy there's a highly recommended book called "You're Stronger Than You Think"! I haven't read it, but it's popped up on pregnancy book lists before.

As a young mom you might have special social or financial needs, and I'd just rely on the support system around you. Different cities have lots of support groups and safety net programs to help teen moms, connect them with resources and offer advice. Definitely ask your OB/midwife about this at your first appointment! Also online communities can be really supportive-- I don't know if there's a special Teenage moms group on the Bump now, but there is an r/teenmoms group on Reddit and there are lots of Facebook groups too. Physically your pregnancy would be the same as someone older, but it's probably nice to connect with others in your age group too.

Anyway, hopefully you'll get some more advice here from people who are or were teen moms. I don't want to assume anything about your situation, but if you are concerned about money or your family there are some specific tips we could help you with there.

shortstack930

@daisyyyy definitely seek out an OB/midwife and make sure to get prenatal care soon. As a labor and delivery nurse a lot of my patients who are teenagers often do not get regular prenatal care which can be dangerous for both mom and baby. Find someone in your family/friend group who can be a source of support to go with you to appointments. Your OB/midwife can help to set you up with any resources you may need such as financial and social support and even transportation to and from appointments. I’m sure everything seems super overwhelming now so definitely make sure you have someone to support you. 

daisyyyy

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hotmessexpress89

@daisyyyy mama you have got this!! We are here for you love! So lean on us and vent and feel safe here.  This is my 4th rodeo around so if you ever want someone to listen or encourage you hit me up! 

What does your support circle look like right now? I loved the Mayo Clinic pregnancy book it has tons of great information. Prenatal care is a must. Have you seen an OB yet? 

krthouse

@daisyyyy Good for you for reaching out for help! As others have said above definitely make sure you're getting prenatal care and taking your prenatal vitamins. You're going to run into a lot of stigma, because people love to judge, but that doesn't say anything about you and your ability to be a strong and loving mama to your baby. Learn as much as you can (there's a great thread in this group with book recommendations) and maybe watch some teen mama vloggers to feel less alone in some of what you're feeling as well as to see what challenges they faced and how they managed. 

daisyyyy

@hotmessexpress89
Thank you so much! I have my first appointment with an OB set up but haven’t actually seen anyone as of right now. Support circle right now would just be that of my family and my boyfriends family, but outside of that there is not really anyone else who I can go to who is understanding at the moment. I will look into that book, thanks again

EmilyE13

@daisyyyy I’m glad you have your family and boyfriend’s family for support! Always feel free to ask anything anytime on the “Ask a STM” or “Great Big Question” threads, too. We’re all happy to help with any general pregnancy or baby stuff we can answer from personal experience. 

daisyyyy

@merostomata Thank you! I’ll definitely look into that book as well as try to find some other groups of people more my age/been through my situation. Definitely would say financially wise supporting a child would be one of the more major concerns/fears here right now as my boyfriend as well as myself are still in high school and will have a ton of help from both our parents while we finish school next year, but definitely the huge fear of coming out of HS while planning for college as well as the addition of a baby and the unknowns of how that’s possible,  Family wise, pretty good, parents are all amazing, friends and such outside of that are a lot quicker to judge and be unsupportive with it all, which comes with its challenges and rough days and is a lot to process on top of all the other fears present but already learning so much just from other threads on here, and appreciate you all who have taken the time to answer. 

jannieowen5609

Hy Daisyyy First of all congratulations that you are pregnant and secondly the best tip for you during pregnancy is take less stress this is some of the best advice I could give to a new young mom. People will always judge you for a lot of things. Find someone in your family/friend group who can be a source of support to go with you to appointments.