Chit Chat

Did you lose any friends?

nicademus20nicademus20 member
edited December 2021 in Chit Chat
I have found that after revealing I'm pregnant 3 of my friends have been lost to the wind. I've texted and asked "How are you?" And haven't heard back, but I see her on Facebook. Another just is always "busy" and it's always me reaching out, it's been seven months and neither of those 2 have asked how I've been. 
I've been friends for a decade with them, and it just shocks me. 
I am glad the third friend was honest/open enough to explain that it hurts her as she has always wanted children (she's 42, I'm 38) and it is hard to see that her dream is happening for someone else close to her. I do understand that, but it hurts to be put aside for that too. 

Has anyone else found being pregnant has been lonely? 

Re: Did you lose any friends?

  • I have found that my life changed drastically since having a kid. It made it hard to relate to my friends without kids for sure. 

    DH -35
    Married in 2008
    Started TTC in 2011
    Began testing May 2014
    Test Results
    HSG- clear
    Hysteroscopy- clear
    SA- 11 mil count
    45% motility
    Diagnosis: MFI
    July 2014: Femera 5mg CD 4-8, Trigger, IUI = BFN
    August 2015: Femera 5mg CD 4-8, Trigger, IUI = BFN
    September 2015: Femera 5mg CD 4-8, Trigger, IUI = BFN
    May 2018 after long period of not trying, starting adoption process with family friend's newborn
    November 2018 Adoption complete!

  • I find myself having a bit of an opposite problem and it is causing me A LOT of guilt inside. I have a very good friend who is 16 - 20 weeks along now (I'm 34 weeks) and she wants to bond and talk about being pregnant all the time... and I don't really want to. I try to be there for her- took her to an ultrasound, but I've defiantly been the Sh*&ty friend and I know it. I've had one complication after another with my pregnancy and like a million doctors with contraindicating opinions, treatment methods and at the end of the day, I'm just sick of it all - I don't think I even have half of these problems. I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe your friends are not struggling to connect with you, maybe they're just struggling. That happy face is hard to put on some days especially now-a-days with inflation and money stress... IDK I would give things some time before you ask that age old question, "Is it me?"        
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  • An update: I am not feeling as much sadness as I did when I wrote this. I do miss hanging out with those people, but now that my LO is 6 months he is more active--and is entertaining! I find myself fulfilled with the time I have with him. 
    I'll try not to put that on him when he is much older haha

    Kelsvin, I send a HUG. I hope your friend and you find a balance of your needs and hers :) 
    I had one doctor as well tell me something that the other doctor contradicted, and even enough when I said "this doctor told me this" he said "I don't know what she is talking about". 
    The one that said "I don't..." he has been a doc since 1994 and the other was brand spanking new doctor on the scene. 
    I went with the older doctors advice, based on experience in the field. 
    Which, oddly enough, may be detrimental if the old doctors don't stay up to date with new information.
    *shoulder shrug* Sometimes we may just be screwed hahaha
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