Benched/TTA w/o 5.24

acleverusername

***General TW that this thread can and will mention MC and loss.*** This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have hit a roadblock and are delaying for whatever reason. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on not TTC and connect with others who are in the same boat. TTC can be a long journey, and having to wait makes it feel even longer -- even if it is for a good reason. I invite you to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this like an ongoing conversation. 

Benched = involuntarily not NTNP/TTC and "out of the game," usually due to medical reasons.

TTA = avoiding pregnancy by using protection or FAM, usually for non-health-related reasons. __________________________________________________________________ 
Are you benched or TTA? 
What brings you here? 
How long do you think you'll be here? 
How have things been going? 
Any R/R/CS/Q? 
GTKY: Your fridge is empty, so you decide to order in: what's your go-to delivery meal? 

bows22

Are you benched or TTA? I guess both? We are on BCP which I guess is TTA? But I’m on them to stop my cycle to have surgery to remove a polyp which seems like benched? I guess it doesn’t really matter but I’m struggling with the definitions haha 

What brings you here? Need to have a polyp removed before we can do IUI

How long do you think you'll be here? Surgery scheduled for either 7/27 or 8/3, waiting for the surgeons’ schedules, but could possibly move up if they have a cancellation. 

How have things been going? Just started AF yesterday so right now great thinking how this may be my last period for a couple of months haha 

Any R/R/CS/Q? I have a deadline next week at work so frantically trying to get some audits done. Juggling everything is draining and I hate doing things at the last minute because things get missed. Almost to the finish line! 

GTKY: Your fridge is empty, so you decide to order in: what's your go-to delivery meal? When we decide to order last minute we usually just get pizza but I’ve been kind of over it lately so I get a steak sub instead. 

ReadyForaB

Are you benched or TTA? both I guess.  Also struggling with the difference @bows22

What brings you here? We were ready to full throttle TTC this cycle when my husband started bringing up concerns about passing a genetic condition he has on to the child.  Long story short, I took a BCP this morning.  Ugh.  We discussed looking into IVF for embryo genetic testing purposes but we are both unsure if we should go that route.  I am going to set up a consultation. 

TW - LC and Loss

We have a 4, almost 5 year old.  We were not aware of DH's genetic condition when we conceived him.  Genetic testing showed our son does not have the condition but each baby we have has a 50% chance of inheriting it.  We were always happy with being one and done until I unexpectedly got pregnant a few months ago.  That pregnancy unfortunately ended in a miscarriage.  After that we both expressed we would like another child. But now we really have concerns about genetics.  Ugh. 

How long do you think you'll be here? I am really not sure.  It is so complicated right now. 

How have things been going? Okay.

Any R/R/CS/Q? Nope. 

GTKY: Your fridge is empty, so you decide to order in: what's your go-to delivery meal? Not much delivers where we are so I would have to go with pizza.  But if we could do pickup - Thai. 

pajamstagrams

@bows22 hopefully your surgery can get moved up, I'm sure it's frustrating to wait!

@ReadyForaB ugh, that's so frustrating re: genetics. I hope your consultation gives you the answers/guidance you need. ETA: just saw you also went with Thai food!? Yum 😋

Are you benched or TTA? Benched, but also probably not *quite* ready at the moment
What brings you here? Recent Loss
How long do you think you'll be here? No idea. Need to talk to my OB first! 
How have things been going? Ok I guess for the moment. I'm still perfectly happy being benched, because *TMI* but having 2 lengthy transvag ultrasounds plus a pelvic exam all in a 36 hour time span makes me quite happy to be on pelvic rest so to speak  🙅‍♀️😂
Any R/R/CS/Q? nope
GTKY: Your fridge is empty, so you decide to order in: what's your go-to delivery meal? hmmm, well let's go with Thai since that was our latest take out! I looove Thai food because it's actually pretty easy to find gluten free dishes since soy sauce isn't a big component. Plus the flavors are *chef's kiss*

acleverusername

*Lurking*
@ReadyForaB MH and I are actually going through the whole genetics things right now because it was discovered during a pre-conception screening that MH has an SHDA gene mutation. More in spoiler:

So now I'm also getting tested. If I don't have it, MH passing on that gene isn't that big an issue because there isn't a lot of evidence that having that mutation on its own increases your risk for certain types of cancer (the existing testing cohort is biased because in the past, only relatives of ppl with those cancers were tested to see if they have this gene mutation; ours was an "incidental" finding). However, if I also have this gene mutation, it would mean that any future children would have 1/4 chances of Leigh's disease, which is deadly within first few years of life. Given that we're already on the IVF train, my results would determine if we have to do PGT-M testing in addition to PGT-A. I think talking to a genetics counselor is an excellent idea in your case. 

[Deleted User]

Re: Benched vs. TTA

Hypothetically, there might be some overlap, but a general guideline is whether you are medically advised to be Benched, vs. electively choosing TTA.  Examples would be someone waiting for a TTC-related surgery would be Benched, while a teacher waiting a few months to try for a baby during the preferred time of the school year, or waiting for insurance coverage to take effect etc. would be TTA.

In previous times when there have been enough applicable members, we have also had a dedicated Benched After Loss thread, so that those loss-related conversations don't have to be spoilered.

Also, TTA if you are tracking BBT would then mean AVOIDING INTERCOURSE during FW, and saving any (possibly protected) intercourse for before FW (if cycles are long enough to reasonable expect that to be a safe window) or best practice is after confirmed ovulation.

ReadyForaB

@acleverusername thanks for sharing!  I guess I don't know where to start.  I have an email into a RE that does IVF in our area to schedule a consultation.  But I don't know if that's the right place to start.  I do know the only way we could guarantee a child doesn't have the condition is by PGT testing. The specific gene he has carries a 50% chance of a child being affected. 

ETA: We did the genetic counseling portion of it already years ago to determine what gene, if any, he carried that was suspected by the doctor.  So we have that part done. We did it at the time to allow his immediate family members to be tested as well. 

bows22

@ReadyForaB I’m sorry your TTC plans are up in the air. Sounds like you are on the right path. Does your insurance cover IVF

@pajamstagrams I hope your OB clears you soon so that you can start when you’re ready (whenever that may be)

@BusinessWife thanks for the explanation. I feel more “benched” because TTA implies some kind of choice to me, but I couldn’t think of a case where someone would be TTA by choice and it wouldn’t annoy me. 😂. But your examples helped!

pajamstagrams

@bows22 never updated in this thread, but unfortunately he's having me wait for 2 full cycles (probably will be 3 months of waiting) so that's a bummer. 😕 but I suppose the good news is that everything looks back to normal so I shouldn't have any complications from the MC, and besides the week long migraine I've had from hormones dropping, I feel pretty good and *almost* back to my normal energy levels. Praying to all the period gods that AF shows up ASAP, and my cycles aren't long and wonky 😂 

bows22

@pajamstagrams ugh, I’m sorry. I’m most likely not going anywhere in the timeframe either so we can keep each other company!