Miscarriage x 2 — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Miscarriage x 2

Hi all. I hate to be posting here, I am in belief this is happening again. I went in for my 7 week appointment yesterday to find out my pregnancy is not progressing, it stopped growing at just around 6 weeks (confirmed as I went in prior due for an early US due to cramping). 
I am schedule for a D&C Thursday. This is my second miscarriage this year. The first I passed naturally 3 months prior. 

I guess I am seeking others experienced with D&C (recovery and overall process), and trying again. How quickly were you able to try, and conceive? 
I feel fortunate to have a 2 year old, but so desperately hope to grow our family. After 2 miscarriages in a row, I feel completely hopeless. 

Any words of support, or shared experience would be much appreciated.

Re: Miscarriage x 2

  • I am sorry your loss.  I understand that hopeless/desperate feeling all too well.  I have 3 living children with 3 miscarriages between each pregnancy. 

    I have had a few d&c's.  Generally,  I think you can try again after your first period.  I can't really remember,  my more recent d&c's were due to a molar pregnancy, so I had had to wait a lot longer. Recovery is usually pretty easy. You should just be crampy for a few days and have a little bleeding.  

    I wish you the best in your journey.  

    Me: 30 DH:32

    DD 3/11  

    MMC 2/12

    DS 1/13

    TTC #3 since 2/17.  Malignant molar missed miscarriage 8/22/17

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  • Thank you so much for your kind response, it’s what I needed. I feel so alone. My first loss I shared with close friends and family, I knew it was common and I felt supported. However, this time feels different. I haven’t told anyone. I feel like I’m wearing a scarlet letter and I am ashamed to share. I have a wonderful support network for friends who are all having children and I don’t want to seem like the “Debbie downer” or have people walk on egg shells around me. I just feel alone.

    We want to try again, and will follow the Dr. orders to wait a cycle. They agreed to run testing on the tissue for abnormalities after the D&C, but I honestly don’t know what I want them to find. If there aren’t chromosomal abnormalities, than it’s my body failing the pregnancy. But if it is chromosomal abnormalities, is the quality of my eggs poor and I will inevitably have a 3rd MC?

    I’m so scared. 


    Knottie99656710
  • I'm sorry for your losses.  If you've had 2 MC with no living children, you may qualify for RPL testing.  You'd NEED to go to a Reproductive Endocrinologist for the testing, but it may reveal something that could help you carry a living baby to term. 

    As for the D&C, I found it to be 'easier' than the natural MC.  I had almost no pain/bleeding, but was completely exhausted for several days following the procedure.  However, be wary of trying to do too much, too soon once the exhaustion wears off.  I did, and then I got terrible pain afterwards because of it!
    holly321
  • Thank you for your response!

    TW ****LC****I have a 2 year old which was a result of an uncomplicated pregnancy/delivery. My OB believes these 2 miscarriages are a result of statistical “bad luck” since I have that history. End TW*****

    I am trying to be a self advocate and push for further testing. However, I feel like it’s falling on deaf ears. They are more like pushing me to just try again since they think this was just a fluke. I just don’t know if I have the strength to suffer another loss. Although I want nothing more than to have a healthy pregnancy. 

    I will certainly take it easy, thank you for the advice. The natural MC was emotionally taxing and just drawn out. I pray theD&C brings closure sooner.
    capnjackharkness
  • Also, may I ask how soon after your D&C your cycle returned? 
  • My cycles always return immediately (accept with molar pregnancy,  but they did return a few months later once my hcg reached 0)

    As for chromosomal loss, everyone is different,  but my first loss was chromosomal and it hasnt been an issue.

    Me: 30 DH:32

    DD 3/11  

    MMC 2/12

    DS 1/13

    TTC #3 since 2/17.  Malignant molar missed miscarriage 8/22/17

    capnjackharkness
  • My cycles were always wonky, but they returned relatively on-time after each of my losses.  (although that isn't always the case either)

    The good/bad news is that statistically speaking, your OB is right.  If you had a healthy PG that resulted in a living child, and then you've had 2 earlier MC, your chances of having a 3rd MC is still pretty low.  Chances are like your OB said, you've just had VERY bad luck, hit that 'standard chance of MC' twice in a row and next time will not be an issue for you.  However, there is a chance with 2 in a row that there may be an issue.  But I've definitely seen WAY more people come in here 2 in a row and leave with a PG that resulted in a living child the 3rd time, whereas those who suffer a 3rd loss are relatively few.  I know it's SUPER hard to hear "just try again" because you feel like people are callous and do NOT understand the tremendous emotions and physical complications that go in to 'just trying again;' like they don't care that your babies are DYING.  But your chances are higher for a healthy PG next time. My pleas also fell on deaf ears until my 3rd loss in a row :disappointed:

    Also, please keep in mind that even if you do succeed in getting testing, that an answer is not guaranteed.  About 50% of us who get RPL testing never get an answer as to WHY we keep losing babies (myself included, I've had 5 MCs, no living babies, and 0 explanation as to why/what the issue may be). I do appreciate the tests ruling out any obvious solutions or issues that would be causing my babies to not survive, but it's hard to never have an explanation as you continue to lose PG after PG.  
    holly321
  • I suffered through 2 miscarriages this year as well. My first pregnancy , I went on for my first prenatal which was in July and found no heart beat and the baby only grew to 8 weeks. I had a D&C a couple days later. I got my period when they say I would get it.

    My second pregnancy is more recent. On Saturday before Thanksgiving I noticed some bleeding. I went to the Emergency room for an ultrasound and they measured the baby to be 6 weeks and 1 day and I should have been 8 weeks. I think the hospital hoped I was very early, but deep down I knew something wasn't right. I had what was suppose to be my first prenatal Wednesday, day before Thanksgiving, to find out that the baby had got smaller and no heart beat detected. I had a natural miscarriage this time because the baby was smaller this pregnancy then my first pregnancy. I was able to pass it on Thanksgiving night into Friday morning. 

    Just know you are not alone in this. My doctor also told me it was "bad luck" as well. We are going to try again in a couple of months.
  • I had 7 miscarriages in 15 months before having my son. They're hard. D&C's are pretty easy peasy recovery though, less cramping than some of my natural miscarriages. I'm currently waiting till Christmas Eve to confirm viability vs miscarriage on my current pregnancy. There was never an identifiable cause for us though we didn't do genetic testing as any treatment wasn't/isn't something me or my husband would consider. Heating pads and Hot Toddy's always got me through my previous miscarriages. Wishing you a warm holiday with your little and love❤️.
  • I’m so glad I came on this app today...I’m currently miscarrying for the 2nd time in a row.  Waiting for bloodwork to come in today so we can plan for what next steps are needed to ensure everything comes out safely.  I have a 2.5 yr old as well, it was the easiest pregnancy, super easy to conceive, really an uneventful pregnancy- thank goodness.  We were surprised to find out I was PG this past summer but I started bleeding around 9+ weeks. And when I went in for an ultrasound the baby was only 6+ weeks size. It was heart wrenching. You just never expect it to happen to you, especially after having such a successful first. It was really hard.  We decided to try again after I had gotten my period twice, and were successful. But this time I didn’t let myself get excited or be hopeful. Something in the back of my head said not to, better to expect the worst.  And the worst came. This past Friday I went in for a 9+ wk ultrasound and same thing, the baby was about 6 wk size.. I couldn’t believe it. Felt surreal. Still does. Then the bleeding started Sunday. I just don’t know how to cope, 2 in a row feels so uncommon. And everyone around me is having multiples. It’s so hard. 
    I’ve got mixed emotions on trying again. I really want to because we want to give my 2YO a sibling, But I’m terrified it’ll happen again....I feel your pain girlfriend, miscarrying is a lonely and scary place. Even if you have a supportive partner, it’s still just you bleeding or laying on that table seeing the empty screen... I’m lost too.  
  • I, too, have a very similar situation. I currently have a 3.5 year old. It was a very tough pregnancy for me, so we decided to wait a couple of years to try again because my post postpartum was also pretty tough for me and I was just not ready. Well last summer we found out we were expecting and I was so excited and felt finally ready. We lost the baby in September and I passed it at home. We got pregnant again immediately, and found out at 8 weeks that the heartbeat was gone. I had a d and c on New Year’s Eve of 2020. Emotionally, the second one was harder. But physically the d and c was much smoother than passing at home. I’m still a wreck and have so much guilt. Why couldn’t I suck it up and try to get pregnant sooner? Maybe this wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t wait so long to try again? Now, if we are lucky to get pregnant again, the thought of my children being so spread apart terrifies me. And I can’t even explain why. I just got my period yesterday after our first cycle of trying again, and I’m absolutely devastated. So. Much. Guilt. Also so scared I won’t be able to conceive again. I’ve read it can take anywhere from 1-15 months to get pregnant after a miscarriage. I’m just so scared and sad. Thank you all for such encouraging words above, I’m so glad I read all of this today, I needed it. Also to the original post author, you are not alone. I thought I was and didn’t realize how common this all can be. Hang in there, sending you love and light ❤️
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